[If you gotta run]WillowxJuncoxCrow[run from hope]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

The silver tabby finished his sentence for him. "...interesting. I agree. I do like flowers. But, I love leaves...the way they change colors, how you can jump in a pile of them, and hear 'em crackle. And trees! I love trees. Flowers are beautiful, but their lives are so short, so sadly brief. Trees last forever. And they provide shelter, and a place to climb, and prey..."

Her pale blue eyes went dreamy as she thought of all the stuff she loved about trees and leaves. Hey, even her best friend's name was a tree. However, an unfortunate thought occurred to her. What if Crowpaw didn't understand? What if he thought she didn't like flowers enough? What if he didn't even care and thought she was weird? Argh!

Her expression drooped slightly, but she still smiled.

Hopefully Willowpaw wouldn't think she was lame, either...please let her not think that. Juncopaw had forgotten how odd she probably seemed to other cats. She sighed. Why did being herself have to be considered weird? Yet she had to admit: she would think another cat was slightly strange if they had said the same thing, but she wouldn't have disliked them for it.

But, maybe they were used to her and didn't think anything of it. Hopefully.

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw reeled backwards, shocked. She had... she had dared. She had dared to suggest that leaves were better than flowers! The nerve! The gall! He almost couldn't look at her. Of course, the idea was madness. Nothing could possibly be better than flowers, even though the leaves of several plants were used in medicine. Leaves had harsh, jagged edges, and if they weren't jagged, they were sharp, cutting. You could cut your tongue on some leaves if you weren't careful in chewing them up. That would never happen with a flower. Their petals were so soft and smooth and delicate, tender as skin. Crowpaw couldn't imagine biting a flower, not like biting leaves to make a poultice. He didn't know what he'd do if he ever had to chew up an actual flower. He might never get over the guilt of it.

"If you like leaves so much, how come you jump in them and destroy them? Huh?" A challenge was plain in his voice, strong and bold. His narrowed eyes surveyed Juncopaw carefully, his sister momentarily forgotten. Why did she jump in leaves if she liked them so much? Wouldn't she want to keep them safe? He knew that he would never destroy a flower, not even if it was dead. She was almost sickening to him, her and her barbaric plant destruction. That was no better than what the twolegs had done to the trees that made up their "bridge." He honestly had no idea how she could live with herself.

"That would be like jumping on your mate and breaking all their bones. Plants are too delicate to do that to.

"And flowers. They might not be strong enough to withstand winter's frosts, but they come back every year as brilliant and beautiful as before. The snow insulates them in their sleep, protects them from everything else. Trees... well, they hardly last forever, as you say. Twolegs can cut them down the same as anything else," he said with a semi-angry snort. He'd teach her, sooner or later. She'd see how amazing flowers were. He then realized that if she was ever going to see things his way, he probably shouldn't insult her trees... or her, for that matter. In fact, he shouldn't be insulting anybody. What was with him today? What was she doing to him?

"Of course, they're all just plants. Haha, right? So, how's your guys's training coming along? Doing anything cool with your mentors?" He changed subjects easily, glad to be off the topic that so incensed him. His face brightened in a smile once more. Crowpaw chuckled to himself. He'd never thought that he'd pass up an opportunity to talk about flowers, or willingly change the subject once on it. Juncopaw was a different story though. It was like he wasn't himself around her. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not yet, but considering how he'd only argued with people since he'd seen her, he figured it was probably not a good thing. I'd better be careful around her. In fact, I probably shouldn't talk to her a lot. She's a bad influence. She could turn me into something... violent. He shuddered, eyeing the silver tabby with a newfound wariness, leaning backwards from her a little bit.

[/center]

[Whiskers]

Oh. My. Heavens. Are they really debating whether leaves are better than flowers...or whether flowers are better than leaves? You're kidding. You're...kidding. Crowpaw has to be kidding. If he's not kidding, I might have to go bury my head in the ground and hope I die there.

Because there is no way I am related to that

Those were the thoughts running through Wllowpaw's head as she listened to the conversation held by Juncopaw and Crowpaw. Honestly, Willowpaw wanted nothing more than to curl up and die. How embarrassing was her brother!

And her friend! Her friend was embarrassing too! Willowpaw couldn't believe that she felt this way toward Juncopaw. Usually, Juncopaw was normal. Sure, she jumped in leaves, but so did Willowpaw. And sure, Juncopaw could be maybe a little off at times, but wholly, she was a sane cat. She had just proved, though, otherwise. Willowpaw should not feel ashamed of Juncopaw in front of Crowpaw. She should not feel ashamed of Crowpaw in front of Juncopaw. It was like some vicious cycle of torture, an onslaught of lame, a totally, totally unfair nightmare. Why couldn't she hang out with normal cats?!

She could not listen to talk about flowers or leaves another second. If Crowpaw didn't shut his yapper in the next two seconds, she was going to blow. Because this stuff-- flowers and leaves and nature-- it didn't actually matter in this life at all. And she would tell them that, ooooh yes she would. But first, she'd give her brother that two seconds to get a clue, get a life, and get over the stupid flowers.

One....

Two...

Okay that was it! She opened her mouth... and then shut it immediately.

Of course, they're all just plants. Haha, right? So, how's your guys's training coming along? Doing anything cool with your mentors

This beautiful comment that flowed out of her brother's mouth cooled Willowpaw off. She gave an immense sigh of relief and a happy, honest smile to her brother. "Yeah, just plants. Nothing to get upset over. And Ashstorm is great! Crowpaw, did you know that there is more than one stalk that you have to learn? I just thought you'd have to perfect just one, but nooo! It all depends on the animal you're hunting, so first come the tracking. I've been practicing my stalks anyway. I'm best at the mouse one, since I'm so petite. At least, that's what Ashstorm tells me." Willowpaw purred.

[/size]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Anger, sorrow, embarrassment, and loneliness all fought a raging battle, trying to prove which one was strongest. Anger roared and tried to claw the others, but loneliness snapped at it, and sorrow, which was loneliness's ally, agreed with it and sneered at the anger until the hot feeling crept away back under her mind, sulking.

And then while loneliness and sorrow were celebrating their victory, embarrassment swept in and blew them to second place. They moved there, grumbling, but knew they'd return soon.

At least, that's how the silver tabby saw it.

She wanted to cry out at the unfairness and presumption..they both just assumed, they didn't try to see what she was really saying. But no...that would do no good, no good at all, she knew. They wouldn't care. They wouldn't pay attention. Don't delude yourself, whispered a nasty voice inside her. These cats aren't friends. They're feral monsters who think you're a freak.

She was so gloomy she almost felt like agreeing with it. Almost. But she mustered enough strength to get back to the conversation, though she no longer smiled and looked at the ground when she talked, her voice...not cold, but flat. Unfeeling.

The way she wanted it to be.

"I should go...Jaynose will want me for training."

She padded off as quickly as possible. Now the shame was starting to set in. Shame at her own treacherous thoughts. Shame at her totally brushing them off. Shame that she was so angry. Shame she hadn't handled the situation perfectly. Shame that this had all gone wrong - and it was probably her fault.

Shame that Crowpaw didn't like her at all. And shame for ever thinking he would.

But most of all, shame at her own stupid flaws.

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw's eyes narrowed in concern. As he watched Juncopaw, she appeared to be rapidly sifting through a lot of emotions, none of which were positive. She didn't show them with her body language, but with her eyes. Why he was paying such close attention to her eyes Crowpaw had no idea. As his sister started to speak, he was snapped out of his analytical state of mind and back into the conversation. So her training was going well. That was fantastic!

"Haha, I'd probably be totally lost if I ever had to hunt with you. You don't exactly have to sneak up on herbs and catch them by surprise," he chortled good-naturedly. How many ways to sneak up on prey had Willowpaw learned already? How many more were there? Would he ever learn to hunt for himself, or was that not seen as an important skill in the medicine den? What Lynxpelt and Littlepaw did on their training sessions out of the den was a complete mystery to him. Did he teach her to hunt, to fight, just enough to get by in an attack? Or was life as a medicine cat completely bound by plants? Crowpaw found himself feeling fleetingly envious of his sister. She got the exciting training, even if it was mostly centered around bringing injury to other living things. Actually, she just plain got trained. Given the circumstances, that was enough to make Crowpaw feel envious of anybody.

Then, out of the blue, Juncopaw got up and stalked off. All Crowpaw could do was stare at the spot that she had previously occupied in utter astonishment, blinking with his jaw agape. His first few attempts to say something only ended up being only splutters. Had he done something? Had they done something, Willowpaw and him? "What... just... happened here?" he queried, turning his widened eyes to his sister once more. She was a she-cat. She might be able to explain this random outburst.

"Should we go over and talk to her? Should I? Should you? Probably you, since you know her better. I should probably be getting back to the den soon anyway. Somebody might need something, and I should be there to help them since nobody else is there right now.

"But would you give her a flower for me? It might make her feel... better?" Crowpaw did not wait for a reply, just jumped up and walked over to a patch of small yellow flowers. Maybe these would help Juncopaw think about happy things, like the sun. They smelled pretty good too. Being careful not to damage any more of the plant than need be, he cut off a single yellow flower.

"Could you tell her that I hope this makes her feel better because it's yellow, like the sun, and the sun is something happy to think about instead of whatever's bothering her? I really have to get back to the den now, though. Love you, Willowpaw! I'll try and visit soon, okay?" Giving his sister a swift lick on her ear, he padded off to the medicine den. Ah, this would work out perfectly. He could see Juncopaw just fine from the shadows in the entrance. From here, he'd be able to see her reaction to the flower without her being able to see him.

[/center]

[Whiskers]

Willowpaw did not see if coming. She was having fun, talking, enjoying herself, actually not annoyed by Crowpaw. They were going to have a real conversation about their lives, she could see it-- and then Juncopaw walked away. Just...just like that. Willowpaw blinked rapidly and watched as her friend sauntered off with a strange expression in her eyes. Willowpaw hadn't done anything, it wasn't her. Was Junco just having one of her off days? At times, Willowpaw noticed when she had them. Her friend would be darker, quieter, moodier. Willowpaw found her a little annoying those days, so she just avoided her until she got better.

Ah well, Willowpaw just had to make a note to check on her later. She didn't want to get up from her patch of mostly dry ground, and she didn't want to just abandon her brother-- they were in the middle of a conversation.

Crowpaw thought differently though.

Again, Willowpaw was hit from behind, and she sat, staring at her brother, as his own mood shifted and he began to get...Crowpawy.

"But would you give her a flower for me? It might make her feel... better?"

No. Willowpaw felt a jolt in her stomach, a hiss in the back of her throat. She tried to spit out her refusal, but he left. He didn't even listen. He just jumped up and walked away, so concerned for Juncopaw, so worried about Juncopaw, so caring toward Juncopaw. Juncopaw, her friend, her fellow apprentice. Not his. He had said it himself-- she knew her better. But no, he was going to stick his nose in her business, her friend's business, and try to make everything better because he was just so gosh darn nice.

"She just said she needs to go train, nothing is the matter--" Willowpaw began to mumble as he came back, a dainty yellow flower held so delectably in his jaw. But she did not finish, because Crowpaw was determined to deliver the flower, no matter what Willowpaw had to say about the matter.

Could you tell her that I hope this makes her feel better because it's yellow, like the sun, and the sun is something happy to think about instead of whatever's bothering her?

Why was she feeling tears in her eyes as he said this? Why was rage building up, block by block, and fighting against this other sad feeling? Willowpaw had a desire to take the flower and stomp it into the mud. She wanted to do it in front of her brother's face, and then declare "That's what I think about you and your flowers, you weak, sappy, sad excuse for a Pineclan cat."

But she did not. She stared at him, blankly, as the storm in her rumbled. When he was gone, she took up the flower in her mouth and began to walk over to Juncopaw. With each step, the anger and, for some reason, hurt pounded in her ears. When she arrived at Juncopaw's side, a malicious plan sprang forth out of nowhere, a weed that would suffocate Crowpaw's good intentions.

"Hey Juncopaw! Look at the pretty flower my brother gave to me-- oh wait... I thought you were going training. Hey, why'd you walk away?" Willowpaw asked with a sweet, innocent voice, the flower dropped at her feet. "We were having such a good time, but when you did that, Crowpaw got all angry and said it was awfully rude of you. Is something wrong?"

Willowpaw's eyes went wide and she tilted her head. Meanwhile, the flower was left on the ground, in the mud, where it belonged.

[/size]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Twist, twist, twist. Shatter. Break. Clink, clink. Mind breaking. Her heart squirmed. Embarrassment was winning big time. She was almost tempted not to answer. But of course she would.

Wait. Flower? Crowpaw had given his sister a flower? Probably because she wasn't lame like Juncopaw, and Willowpaw said he was mad at her anyway...well, she knew she'd had to apologize. But wait...if her friend liked it, why was it lying in the mud? Juncopaw knew it was silly, but she thought the flower looked sad lying there.

"I-I-I was...'c-cause I p-probably should anyway, I-I n-n-need to l-learn more..." She sighed. It was the truth, but it felt like a lie. She hated lying. "I-I'm s-s-sorry..." The apprentice whispered. "I-I w-wasn't expecting C-C-Crowpaw to be s-so m-mad. I k-know I r-r-ruin everything, a-and you d-don't deserve it. I o-overreacted, I-I'm s-sorry. I b-better g-g-go apologize to h-him." Jucnopaw felt utterly depressed.

It was just like her to totally aggravate the cat she liked. Now he'd never like her. At least Willowpaw tried to understand.

Shoulders hunched, she padded back to Crowpaw, and sat down with a sigh, looking at the ground.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry Crowpaw. I n-n-never m-meant to make you s-so m-mad. I-I'll n-n-never do it a-again."

She dipped her head to him, wanting, wanting so badly to wail in agony.

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw watched the exchange between his sister and Juncopaw with growing confusion. Why was Juncopaw getting upset? He had thought the flower was pretty enough. Did she not like the sun or something? She should. The sun brought back her beloved leaves every year. He'd thought that she would like the flower... but maybe she just didn't like the color yellow. He couldn't imagine any other reason why she would be that close to a breakdown.

Then he noticed the flower in the mud, not beside Juncopaw, but beside Willowpaw. She hadn't even tried to give the flower to her! The scene replayed perfectly in his mind. Willowpaw had walked up to her friend, spat the flower on the ground, and had immediately launched into some tirade. That was probably what had gotten Juncopaw in such a state. Why had Willowpaw upset her friend so? Friends were supposed to make each other feel better, not worse. As much as he hated to admit it, he was deeply hurt by his sister's actions. He could not feel any dislike towards her, however. Something was preventing him from feeling angry with his sister. Crowpaw did not know it, but the feeling was pity. Yes, he pitied his sister. Something was obviously going on that made her feel like she had to hurt others, probably to make herself feel better. What was wrong with Willowpaw would have to wait, though, because Juncopaw was currently making her way towards him, shoulders hunched, eyes downcast, and just looking generally depressed.

"I'm not mad at you, Juncopaw. I'm not mad at all. Is that why you're so upset, because you thought I was mad at you? It wasn't because you didn't like the flower I picked for you?" Crowpaw's voice was gentle, unusually so. He'd never used this tone of voice before, probably because he'd never seen anybody so distraught. Bluefur had problems with anger, not depression. Still, the tenderness came as a bit of a shock to him. As he thought about it, he'd never heard anybody use this tone of voice before.

"I figured you'd like it. It's yellow, and pretty, and I wanted Willowpaw to tell you that it was like a little sun. The sun, uhm, brings back leaves and it's so nice and warm and it makes most everybody happy, so I thought it might cheer you up." His face darkened slightly before he asked, "What exactly did Willowpaw tell you, anyway?" He was curious, more than anything, about the degree to which Willowpaw had lied to her friend. It had been lies that she'd told her, he knew, because the truth would not have sent the poor dear over to him begging for forgiveness. Crowpaw would not be upset with his sister when he found out the truth, hopefully, just confused. He could deal with confusion, but not raging anger.

"You don't have to worry about making me mad, Juncopaw. Honestly," he said with his best attempt at a reassuring smile. It was difficult to pull off, given the torrent of thoughts and emotions that he was experiencing at the moment, confusion and concern being the foremost, but he thought that he did a pretty decent job of it.

[/center]

[Whiskers]

Willowpaw hated Juncopaw. She hated how Juncopaw never listened to her. She hated how she just walked away, didn't even wait for Willowpaw to put her say in, to tell her "No, Crowpaw wouldn't care, just let him cool off." But no, no, no, no, earth forbid someone actually listened to, actually let her say her opinion. That was much too risky. The whole damn world would collapse if that happened!

Juncopaw was just like Crowpaw. Crowpaw hadn't listened either. They were both selfish and terrible and Willowpaw hated both of them. And now, she just knew, that Juncopaw was going to hate her too, though all she was trying to do was get back at Crowpaw, not hurt Juncopaw. 'Sides, Juncopaw didn't even...shouldn't even...care about...Crowpaw, right?

But she did. At that realization, Willowpaw felt a shock, as if she was struck by lightning. It all made sense-- Crowpaw was stealing her friend! Urgh! She wanted to spit and rage and tear at Crowpaw's face. Wasn't it enough that he had Mommy's love, and the admiration of the whole clan? He even had Bluefur wrapped around his paw! But now he needed her Juncopaw?

The thought was so sickening Willowpaw actually gagged, her back hunching over, her eyes wide and bright with jealously and revulsion. And her lie...her lie would be found out and bam, Juncopaw would be Crowpaw's. This whole thing was too unfair... Willowpaw just couldn't handle this right now.

She stamped once on that flower and then fled the scene. She needed to go hunt, do something useful, clear her head-- or else she'd just throw a hissy fit and get in trouble.

[/size]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

The silver tabby felt like she was half melting, half being blown away. He...he was speaking to her! In a friendly way...it was incredible. But tinged by the pain that he didn't know. He couldn't know. Until she was sure she could pledge herself to him.

She took in what he said with wonder. "You...picked a flower for me?" If cats could blush, she would've. He's nice to everyone, mousebrain, you're not special, she growled at herself. "Th-thanks...a little sun...dandelion!" She smiled for a second before worrying again. "Oh, she just told me you were kinda mad..." She shuffled. "I'm glad you forgave me so quick. I really...I really do like flowers. I never want to hurt leaves...I just want to play with them. But I would never hurt a flower. They're too beautiful. I would never hurt any plant. I know Twolegs can cut down trees...but I try not to think about that, because then I think about birds dying and that's sad. I know, birds are prey...but them being killed like that is too sad. I'm sorry I'm so depressing."

For a split second she wondered if she dared lean against him but immediately rejected the idea. She would die of embarrassment. Just die. She'd love to...but she shouldn't. She didn't trust her heart.

Juncopaw never trusted her heart; it had betrayed her mother. True, for a good reason, but that was still a crime.