Post by Whiskers on Aug 2, 2010 17:50:00 GMT -5
She...she knew it! It was so horrible and it make her feel just so...so...there was no word. She went through the ones she knew and none of them fit. Terrible, miserable, devestated. No, no, no. She felt worse than that. She almost felt angry and she very nearly sprung to her feet and yelled at Loonstep for confirming what she suspected. It was one of those unwritten rules, surely! Like, when a she-cat asks you if her pounce is crooked, you never say yes! And if she wonders about whether she's been eating too many rabbits, you tell her of course not. And, if your best friend suspects you will leave her, you tell her not in a million years would you do that to her.
Loonstep was such a blockhead!
Goosefur wasn't an angry she-cat though. She never had been. And though she wanted to feel angry instead of sad, in the end, the sadness won. The anger faded. The indignant voice protesting inside her head was overpowered with a simple phrase: He's right.
He was right. He couldn't deny the truth. She couldn't either. He couldn't be sure of anything anymore. Neither could she. She was a dolt to think that things would be the same, that everyone would remain close. But if she closed her eyes, imagined a battle between Pineclan and Streamclan, she could see Loonstep doing what was right. He'd attack her. He would. He as loyal and strong and brave and proud and good, and being all of that, he would act like a true warrior and defend his clan.
She wouldn't because she was such a little she-cat, one who could not let go off the past. She clung to it madly, fervishly, unfairly. She was afraid to grow up, become a real warrior, serve her clan and make new friends. She was pathetic.
But she held back her whimpers and whines, determined not to cry, though these thoughts filled her up and made her heart shrivel. Goosefur didn't want Loonstep to feel guilty or anything, or to comfort her. What she needed to do was...pull away. It was time to truly move on, as Loonstep was doing.
Her heart resisted anyway. It fought back. No! Never! What are you saying?! Remember, you all said you'd all be friends still, no matter what. Well, time to stay true to that promise, even if the others don't! So what, Loonstep's moving on, making friends. He'll settle down with a mate soon, have gorgeous kits. Maybe you'll get left behind, but at least you won't regret anything, at least you will know that you tried!
"I know, I know, silly of me to even want you to--" she paused, and the words died in her mouth. She laughed instead, a little shakily. "Anyway, it's fine, Loonstep. We're warriors and everything. I wouldn't want you to be anything less than that. You're...you're brilliant, you know? I look at you and you're confident and mature and everything a Pineclan warrior should be. I look at you...and I want to be like that too. And I will, of course. One day."
[/size] Loonstep was such a blockhead!
Goosefur wasn't an angry she-cat though. She never had been. And though she wanted to feel angry instead of sad, in the end, the sadness won. The anger faded. The indignant voice protesting inside her head was overpowered with a simple phrase: He's right.
He was right. He couldn't deny the truth. She couldn't either. He couldn't be sure of anything anymore. Neither could she. She was a dolt to think that things would be the same, that everyone would remain close. But if she closed her eyes, imagined a battle between Pineclan and Streamclan, she could see Loonstep doing what was right. He'd attack her. He would. He as loyal and strong and brave and proud and good, and being all of that, he would act like a true warrior and defend his clan.
She wouldn't because she was such a little she-cat, one who could not let go off the past. She clung to it madly, fervishly, unfairly. She was afraid to grow up, become a real warrior, serve her clan and make new friends. She was pathetic.
But she held back her whimpers and whines, determined not to cry, though these thoughts filled her up and made her heart shrivel. Goosefur didn't want Loonstep to feel guilty or anything, or to comfort her. What she needed to do was...pull away. It was time to truly move on, as Loonstep was doing.
Her heart resisted anyway. It fought back. No! Never! What are you saying?! Remember, you all said you'd all be friends still, no matter what. Well, time to stay true to that promise, even if the others don't! So what, Loonstep's moving on, making friends. He'll settle down with a mate soon, have gorgeous kits. Maybe you'll get left behind, but at least you won't regret anything, at least you will know that you tried!
"I know, I know, silly of me to even want you to--" she paused, and the words died in her mouth. She laughed instead, a little shakily. "Anyway, it's fine, Loonstep. We're warriors and everything. I wouldn't want you to be anything less than that. You're...you're brilliant, you know? I look at you and you're confident and mature and everything a Pineclan warrior should be. I look at you...and I want to be like that too. And I will, of course. One day."