~And You Know That's Not What I'd Desire~

[Cloud of Diamonds]

And you know that's not what I'd desire,
I'd want the water, not the fire~

No...no..no..his loyal deputy...dead..Bramblefang...it couldn't be...no...

Fragments of thought whirled in the MeadowClan leader's head as his horrified amber gaze was frozen to the mangled tabby corpse before him.

He finally took a deep breath, trying to steady himself enough to speak to Tigertail.

"How did this happen?" He growled, trying to sound gruff and leader-like. The truth was that he wanted to run away and hide like a scared kit. He hadn't seen a cat die since the journey, and this was even worse...like half the territory disappearing, that sense of something familiar being gone.

Cedarstar reminded himself that Jaypaw was still alive, though heavily injured. He'd seen Stormclaw wearily taking the apprentice to the medicine den.

He would need to speak to Mistystream, if somecat hadn't told her about her apprentice already...

But the Clan needed to be told of Bramblefang's death first. And he had to name a new deputy by moonhigh, when Bramblefang's vigil would also start...he felt his sorrow come crashing down once more. Of course he'd known that he might have to name a new deputy again one day, but the mottled brown tom had never expected it to be so soon...

Once Tigertail had told him how the deputy had died, he would announce it to the Clan, and the elders would bury him. Bury him. Oh, StarClan...may you recieve my deputy with kindness, he prayed. Please.

'Cause though my heart is about to freeze,
The water helps it heal and ease.

[Crowzerplorodon]

How did this happen? He asks. Oh if only Tigertail could tell him! But his brain was too fuddled right now, and the warrior could hardly make heads or tails of what happened. All he knew was that he just dragged back the body of his dead deputy and his mouth what clogged with the taste of Bramblefang's blood. Such a stain wouldn't be gone so easily. Ignoring his leader, Tigertail proceeded to cough up a storm, hacking at the ground beneath his feet. Couldn't the tom give him a break? Just because Cedarstar was a leader and needed to be professional in front of his clan didn't mean Tigertail had to. Oh no, the tabby just wanted to take a break and sleep right now, not address his leader. “Show a little compassion,” he gruffed silently, covering it with a well placed cough.

Tigertail took his sweet time gathering himself again. He wasn't going to speak until he was ready, and Cedarstar was going to have to accept that. “Badger,” he grunted after a few prolonged moments, green eyes glinting at the memory of the mangled black and white creature. “S'dead now. Took Brambley wit' it.” With a downcast look toward the dead deputy, he sighed. What else was there to say? He couldn't say how boldly the deputy fought, because he didn't know. The only one who could say anything toward Bramblefang's death was Jaypaw, and the poor apprentice was being carted off to the medicine cat den to be tended too. Tigertail's eyes narrowed. StarClan better not take that apprentice with them. They didn't need anymore MeadowClan blood.

Before he could debate exactly why StarClan allowed this anymore, the warrior bit at his lip and tore his gaze from the departed deputy to gaze at his leader. Maybe... Maybe Cedarstar's apparent stone-like behavior was for the best. The clan would need a rock now. Someone to keep them going because damn it, they just lost their deputy. In the blink of a dull, green eye, Tigertail suddenly saw Cedarstar for what he was now. A leader. A leader who just lost a deputy, and would have to make a decision before most cats would even finish grieving. After all, the sun was plenty high in the sky now, and would start sinking before they knew it. The moon was just a horizon away. “... Was a te'ible sight, boss,” he whispered.

[/blockquote]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Cedarstar felt his heart harden. That badger...if it wasn't already dead, he would have gone to kill it himself. The fox-hearted beast...

"Yes, I imagine it was. He will be well recieved by StarClan for his bravery." He said in a tight voice, trying not to break down in front of the gathering cats and Tigertail. Oh, StarClan. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't do this. Why?

But he could.

Hard as it was, painful as it was, strong as he needed to be - or at least appear to be -, he had to do it. This was the price of being leader.

He had to announce Bramblefang's death to the Clan...or what of it that wasn't already clustered around them. Climbing up on the topmost boulder that made up his den, he yowled, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" Not that he really needed to, but it was the formality. Just like what he had to tell now, even when it was so obvious..."Bramblefang is dead. I will announce the new deputy at moonhigh, and after I do so the vigil for him will begin, and once it is over the elders will bury him. That is all." He jumped down, and slunk into his den beneath the rocks.

Time to think about the decision that would change the future of his Clan.

But what if he chose wrong? Shut up, he growled inwardly at himself. This is no time to be doubting yourself, Cedarstar. You have experience, you know what qualities a deputy needs, get on with it.

He first thought of Russetpelt...but he knew that if he did name his best friend deputy, some cats were sure to mutter that it was favoritism. And while Russetpelt was strict and a good warrior, he was also temperamental and impatient...no, he wasn't it. Cedarstar found himself wanting to pick a former ForestClan cat, for some reason, though he knew that cats who had not been on the journey also deserved to be considered....Littlewhisker, possibly? She was neat and dutiful...but then, her mate was none other than Russetpelt, and he didn't want to make it so that she could never have kits, even though a pang of jealousy squirmed in him at the thought...

Who else had come from ForestClan and could be deputy? Gingerstripe, Ravenfoot, Rabbitstep, Bearclaw...most of them were young, though...but Rabbitstep, he remembered, was around his own age, just a bit younger. He was the most senior warrior besides Russetpelt, probably...and he was strong..impatient like Russetpelt, but then, no cat was perfect...and he was generally serious and calm...and his high expectations of others would hopefully encourage everyone to work harder...he'd made his decision.

Rabbitstep would be the new deputy of MeadowClan.

All in all, he was a cat that could be entrusted with the future of this Clan, and one who was dependable. Trying to ignore the jealousy that lurked in his mind at his choice, Cedarstar stepped out of his den again and noticed it was late, almost moonhigh. He climbed up the rocks again, just sitting and absorbing the enormity of it all. He let out the familiar yowl:

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!

Cats of MeadowClan, listen and I will appoint the new deputy.

I say these words before StarClan, that the spirits of our ancestors, and Bramblefang especially, can hear my choice. The new deputy will be Rabbitstep."

[[ hardyrex ]]

coz' every girl's crazy... -

Rabbitstep blinked as Cedarstar's yowl rang out through the camp. He wasn't expecting Bramblefang's death to be so sudden, nor for the clan to hear what happen so quickly... news of his death had spread like wildfire throughout the clan, and the brown tabby had been one of the first to hear of the news. A blow to MeadowClan, he thought grimly, sitting with his tail around his paws. The announcement had been not to long ago, and it seemed that every cat felt like they had lost a brother. Things had gotten slightly better, yet a loss was a loss. At least Bramblefang is walking with StarClan now.

Many cats around the camp were sitting around the Highrock, waiting for their leader's choice of the new deputy. Russetpelt came to mind when the Warrior thought about a deputy. The tom was a good friend of Cedarstar -- someone he could trust greatly. He had seasons of experience also, with a strict attitude and good skills. Perfect for deputy. There were other cats as well, of course, but--

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!

Cats of MeadowClan, listen and I will appoint the new deputy."

The tom was so busy in his musing he failed to notice Cedarstar come out of his den and leap onto the Highrock. His head jerked up and slight excitement tingled in his spine, going to his tail tip. Bramblefang's death was saddening, yes, but life can't go on without death. And with death came new things, new lives, and much more. Rabbitstep couldn't see how a cat couldn't be the least bit excited.

"The new deputy will be Rabbitstep."

Rabbitstep blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked again.

Had he just heard right? No way. Must have been a mistake. His ears were playing tricks with him. He He was the deputy of MeadowClan? The tabby's mouth dropped open with shock, before quickly closing. Keep your cool! he snapped at himself, closing him mouth and standing on his paws to address the clan. "MeadowClan, and Cedarstar especially, I am honored to hold such a position." Rabbitstep meowed, excitement building inside of him. "I promise I will serve the Clan to the best of my abilities." The tabby tom nodded slightly, as if agreeing with his own words.

- ...'bout a sharp dressed man

ooc; /lameending D|

[Crowzerplorodon]

Bramblefang is dead. I will announce the new deputy at moonhigh...

To Tigertail's ears, his leader's voice trailed off after that. The words were too final for his taste, too absolute. Almost as if there was a way for Bramblefang to come back, and Cedarstar was obnoxiously denying that for the whole clan. It panged the tabby's heart to think that way, to think his leader would prohibit their deputy returning. He knew Cedarstar meant nothing of the sort, but words had more affect on cats then they probably realized. It was why he enjoyed them so much. Words pulled on heart strings and messed with minds more than actions ever could.

But a new deputy, huh? It would probably be Russetpelt. Tigertail hadn't been around early enough in the clan to witness Bramblefang's christening, but, from what he heard, Cedarstar had been trying to not show favor when he picked the deceased tom. The clan was all abuzz about it, the brave leader not picking his forever companion in choice of some young, perhaps inexperienced tom. Tigertail never joined in on those gossipy talks, but in his mind Bramblefang was a fine first deputy. And Russetpelt would make a fine second one. The tabby warrior snorted, feeling relieved all of a sudden. Bramblefang would die with his name in the stars, no one would forget the first MeadowClan deputy who risked his life to save his clan and his apprentice.

Speaking of Jaypaw, where was he? In the medicine cat den now, with Sandpaw, and probably Stormclaw? The sandy apprentice was probably bossing around his friend to getting herbs and whatnot, seeing how their usual medicine cat was always too busy to aid Sandpaw. And, knowing Stormclaw, the gray warrior wasn't refusing. Probably thought it was some honorable act. Tigertail snorted, for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day, then curled up where he sat, a small patch of grass in camp, and dozed off.

He awoke again to Cedarstar's yowl, taking a couple minutes to realize he had just slept the day away. Wow, Tigertail didn't realize death could be so tiring. He'd have to volunteer for a moonhigh patrol or something, to make up for his apparent laziness. Oh, he was sure no one would mind. Still feeling rather groggy, Tigertail made an attempt to listen to his leader, perking up when the announced name wasn't Russetpelt. He grinned lazily at Rabbitstep when the tom began to speak, forcing himself to get up and stroll over to the new deputy. “'Grats, Rabbitstep,” he said, wondering if the clan would start cheering like they did for apprentices.

[/blockquote]

[Slug]

Sandpaw slinked out from the medicine den, his steps full of purpose, yet nervous as well. He knew he shouldn't leave Jaypaw in his den, but he had to inform Cedarstar of the apprentice's condition. However, Sandpaw could not help but be wary of his leader as he got closer to the other tom. How would his leader react to this information? Sandpaw did not know, but no matter: Cedarstar must be told.

"Cedarstar." Sandpaw spoke loudly, orange eyes gazing cooly up at his leader. "Jaypaw's leg has been broken, and will take time to mend." Whiskers quivering nervously, Sandpaw quickly racked his brain for the right choice of words. "He will stay in my den until he has fully healed. He cannot, under any circumstances, preform any duties, or it will disrupt his leg's correct healing process." Sandpaw was not challenging his leader's authority. He held no tone that told such a story. Instead, his voice was a drone, and was obviously only stating facts.

Scanning his clanmates, Sandpaw added: "If any of you wish to visit Jaypaw, you may do so." With that said, Sandpaw flicked his tail and stalked back into the medicine den, disappearing into it's darkness...

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Cedarstar almost snorted. Of course Jaypaw wouldn't be performing any duties. It had been plain from the state of his injuries that they would take a long time to heal. Nevertheless, he answered Sandpaw as a leader would.

"Of course. Inform Mistystream of how long you think his injuries will take to heal, and I will be most grateful."

He called loudly, hoping the ginger apprentice could hear him as he disappeared into the medicine den. He'd give the Clan some time to congratulate Rabbitstep - Dappledflower would be especially pleased - and then the vigil would start.

Dappledflower.

For almost certainly the first time Cedarstar realized the gravity of his decision, for his own sake.

Rabbitstep had everything, practically - a high ranking position, friends, and a family. Cedarstar had a high ranking position, all right, but somehow he felt so lonely, even with Russetpelt and Littlewhisker. After all, being a leader wasn't all mice and moonlight. There were so many cats depending on you, and they needed to be dealt with fairly. One decision could heal a rift or break apart a friendship. He felt a slow, thick hatred towards Rabbitstep - mixed with jealousy and longing. Jealous of his deputy's success, longing for a mate of his own. But he had to push that aside, for the good of his Clan. That was all that mattered.