Expanding horizons. (Dovepaw&OPEN)

[glowlynose]

It was the perfect late autumn morning in the FogClan camp. The mist that covered the sleeping cats with a gentle blanket had just begun to recede, and the early morning sunlight cast a faint golden glow upon everything it could reach. A bite was present in the air, evidence of the inevitable snows and bitter months still to come. Somewhere, a mourning dove gave a piercing call. It was to this atmosphere that Dovepaw awoke from her frightful dream. The dream had not been frightening as most wold percieve it; there had been no blood, no death, no ominous messages from the wraithlike shadows of dark cats from the past. Instead, her dream had taken place on a sunny morning much like this one, but in place of the promise of snow, there had been a scent of coming warmth and new life on the breeze. She had not been a character in the dream; the only two present had been her siblings. It was unclear how long it had been after she had left them, but they looked absolutely miserable. Her sister, oh, her poor, poor sister had been so scrawny, so frightened... she'd been so small. Her brother had grown with the burden of caring for his sister single-pawedly. Yes, he had seemed powerful enough for a growing tom, but there had been something in his eyes, the way he would stare off vacantly into the forest from time to time, as if in a trance, then suddenly snap back into reality. In her dream, Dovepaw had been able to read into his thoughts, and one thought murmured in her mind. She left us. This is her fault. She left us for dead and now we're nearly there. This message, along with the image of Vanilla's eyes, looking so empty and at the same time burning with a passion to protect his sister and a resentment toward Dovepaw, had been burned into Dovepaw's mind. She couldn't escape her dream even in her waking hours.

A chill ran down the little she-cat's spine as she stepped out of the apprentice den. Now she was out in the open. The souls of her siblings must be watching her. She could feel her brother's eyes on her with every step, and no matter how many times she stretched or shook her paws, she could not rid that prickling feeling from her pelt. Her dream had disturbed her in a way that no nightmare could have. Already a breeze was starting up, though it was barely dawn, and she took it as a sign that she was being watched. Her brother must have wanted revenge on her for what she had done. StarClan must be mobilizing against her. That breeze had been so cold, so piercing; it could not have possibly been a regular autumn breeze. It was a sign of things to come. By abandoning her siblings, Dovepaw had incurred a burden, a doom upon herself. Had she been less brave than she was, she would have shied away from this, but she welcomed her unknown fate with open paws and mind. After all, it was her burden to bear. There must be some justice in the world. A thrush lay on the fresh-kill pile, cold from sitting out in the open all night, but Dovepaw chose it regardless, sinking her teeth into the stringy flesh. Leave the good prey for those who are not damned by their past.

[/center]

[Nightfall]

<sup>Nightstream trooped into the camp, shivering, while trying to keep hold of the bunch of the succulent prey in her jaws. They never had a chance. The stealthy she-cat prided herself on her hunting ability, even though she didn't say it out loud, rather letting her actions speak for themselves.

Looking at the fresh-kill pile as she got closer, Nightstream spotted Dovepaw to the side, eating what was obviously a cold thrush. Nightstream smiled on the inside, and deposited her fresh kill and took a fresh piece for herself before turning to look at Dovepaw who was attempting to chew through the stringy meat of the thrush.

"Having fun there, are you?" Nightstream couldn't help but call to the apprentice.


ooc;; i apologize for the shortness, my brain isn't workin' very well right now. :c</sup>

[Cloud of Diamonds]

What a beautiful day they'd been granted by StarClan this morning! Birchtail had just finished making sure that her new nest in the warriors' den was as tidy as it could be before padding gracefully out to enjoy the day. It would just be horrifying if she couldn't keep her new nest in proper condition! Her tail sweeping the air, careful not to touch the ground, her amber-tinted eyes appraised camp. Well, this was a picture that left much to be desired. Just an apprentice with an ever-so-slightly tatty pelt nibbling a bird, and a warrior a little ways from the apprentice....Dovepaw, she remembered now was her name. And who was that beside her....oh, right. Nightstream, yes. Just like her name, the long-furred tabby thought approvingly. Sleek pelt, composed, and arriving with their ancestors' blessed bounty this morning, it appeared. But looking at Dovepaw, the former queen's whiskers drooped a bit and she shook her head slightly in disapproval. Every apprentice, in her opinion, should have a few minutes to groom when they got up every day. Their pelts would look so much nicer that way! The very thought made the brown-black FogClanner smile with happiness. She should mention it to Dovepaw. Using her long legs, she strode over to within a tail-length of Dovepaw, quickly picked out a vole from the pile so it wouldn't seem like criticizing the apprentice was the only reason she was over here (though really it was), looked at the pale-furred FogClanner, and said, "Did you know your pelt's a bit ruffled? You might want to groom it before you go hunting or something, you'd look ever so pretty." Wrapping her plumy tail around her paws, Birchtail sliently congratualated herself. Not too harsh on giving the advice, and I even managed to give her a compliment, sort of! Of course, this was by the standards of a very featherbrained warrior.

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw did not register the scents of her incoming clanmates, and was thoroughly surprised when they spoke. Her thrush was more than half-eaten; the stringy meat could be seen separating out in some areas, dangling off the bones in others. The spprentice had to admit that it wasn't the best meal she had ever eaten, but then again, those cursed by StarClan (or their own guilt) did not deserve good meals, or even to live within a clan. The apprentice would never leave FogClan, despite her newfound beliefs in her own fate. She would die before being accused of disloyalty, or of abandoning her clan. Abandoning responsibility is never the way to go about things, she told herself as a feather drifted away on the breeze. It was then that Nightstream spoke. Am I having fun? Am I having FUN? StarClan, is she really that blind? Just as the little white she-cat was taking in a breath to give a biting reply to the black warrior, the distinctive mewling of Birchtail interrupted her thoughts.

"Did you know your pelt's a bit ruffled? You might want to groom it before you go hunting or something, you'd look ever so pretty."

Dovepaw blinked a few times. The tip of her tail twitched. Of all the inane and least important things to say, that was quite possibly the worst. Birchtail had no idea what was coming for her. The apprentice shot a pointed, stone-edged glance at Nightstream before taking in yet another breath. She had expelled the previous one in an exasperated sigh. "Oh, is my pelt a bit ruffled? My, you've got a whisker out of place yourself! What a tragedy," she said slowly, and with a great deal of mock sincerity. If it wasn't for the fact that she was extremely upset this morning, she would have felt instant regret about her biting words. However, today was not the time to feel guilty about what she said, seeing as the past was weighing down upon her, like a boulder trapping the fragile wing of a hawk.

"And yes, Nightstream, I was greatly amusing myself with the bird. Stringy, coarse meat is ever so much fun to chew. It's got this little bit of bounce to the outside, but then you really have to work at it once you get deep enough. You should try it if you ever find yourself bored one morning, that is, if you ever take a morning off to sleep in until dawn."

[/color] Dovepaw nonchalantly licked at a few scruffy patches of her pelt. After that, she took a bite out of her thrush and chewed with slightly exaggerated motions. On any other day, she would have scolded herself about how this would damage her reputation, but her reputation did not seem important to her anymore. A small smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth, and she gazed levelly at the two she-cats. With bated breath, she waited for their reactions.
[/size][/center]

[Nightfall]

<sup>"And yes, Nightstream, I was greatly amusing myself with the bird. Stringy, coarse meat is ever so much fun to chew. It's got this little bit of bounce to the outside, but then you really have to work at it once you get deep enough. You should try it if you ever find yourself bored one morning, that is, if you ever take a morning off to sleep in until dawn."

Nightstream stared at the apprentice in disbelief. How dare she say that? 'I was just joking.' the black furred warrior thought to herself. Then she smirked.

"Geez, who put thorns in your bedding last night?" Nightstream asked acidly, sarcasm dripping off every word. She couldn't help it. She had been in high spirits this morning, just getting back from hunting and the leaf-fall coloured world around her, and then made the mistake of talking to this mousebrain. The apprentice, who was of a less important stature than herself, was insulting even her sleeping habits?

Even more furious than at first, Nightstream spun around and stalked away, not even waiting for an answer from Dovepaw before vanishing through the entrance of the camp and into the calming forest that was now around her.

Forget Dovepaw. Forget Birchtail. Forget all of them! Why couldn't someone understand her for once?</sup>

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Well, gosh. What were apprentices coming to these days? Not that it mattered hugely to Birchtail, but she liked being treated with at least a certain level of respect from the apprentices. And just because of a little friendly advice, too. The fluffy FogClanner's small ears twitched in annoyance, but she stayed put and began to eat her vole. Now, what to say, what to say....for Birchtail wasn't going to give up as easily as poor Nightstream had. No, Birchtail would bring order to this white apprentice whether she liked it or not. It was her duty, given by StarClan. (Or so she liked to think.) But this time, the way to order might not be from cleanliness, though Birchtail was surprised when she realized this. She was (believe it or not) actually shocked at learning this. Was it true that StarClan intended her to be gentler with this apprentice to guide her into purification? Woah, going a bit overboard here. But yet....was Dovepaw hiding something? Perhaps turmoiling emotions she felt she had to keep locked up inside? Oh, who knew? But at least she, Birchtail, could try and help her a little bit. Just be sympathetic, but not too personal, not yet....but it did annoy her to have to apologize for giving out perfectly lovely advice, Dovepaw barely deserved it, but, no, she must be patient..."Dovepaw, I'm sorry if my words annoyed you." The striped FogClanner had to prevent herself from grinding her teeth as she said it, wondering how her words could annoy anyone. "I hope that if you are suffering from something, may StarClan alliviate your problem soon." Um. Well, it was a start.

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw only sniffed at Nightstream's comment, watching with cold eyes as the sleek, black female made her retreat into the woods. Featherbrained warrior. Always so perky and well-groomed. Bah. Well, she can just go off and whine to herself like a kit. I'm staying right here. The she-cat spat crossly on the ground before taking another bite from her thrush. As she stared off at the place that the black warrior had vanished to, she couldn't help feeling a little bit guilty. Perhaps she had been a little bit too harsh on her. Nightstream had only been trying to make a joke to cheer her up, and she had responded with sarcasm and hostility. Not only had it been rude, it had been completely unnecessary. She had best apologize as soon as possible.

"Wait, Nightstream! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" she yowled into the thick forest, but it was probably too late. The she-cat averted her eyes and sighed. Now Nightstream as well as her siblings and StarClan would hate her until she died. The only one left who didn't hate her was Mousenose. Where was he, anyway? If he was here, he'd be able to cheer me up. Dovepaw sighed and pushed away the bones of her breakfast. There was a lot of apologizing she needed to do. "No, it is I who should be apologizing, Birchtail. My behavior was out of line. I let my feelings take over what I did, and I shouldn't have."

[/color] A look of guilt and anguish passed over her face, and she even allowed remorse to seep into her eyes. Now was not the time to be cold and taciturn. That wouldn't help in the least.

"Do you really think that StarClan cares about what happens to me, Birchtail? Because I honestly don't. There are so many reasons for StarClan to punish me. You see, I-" she cut her mew short, not wanting to expose too much of her past to the frou-frou she-cat. If anything, she should be teling this to her mentor.
[/size][/center]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Birchtail was both soothed and shocked by what the pale she-cat beside her had said. She liked the apology of course, but the rest of it was...interesting. The brown tabby mulled over Dovepaw's words. She looked at the apprentice's eyes. Many feelings seemed to be held in them, thought Birchtail had as much hope of flying as figuring them out. Purity of all things, that was the answer. Get rid of those nasty things. Yet the former queen was surprised that a bit of personal feeling had crept into her heart. Odd how only a short encounter with a cat could have you feeling a bit sympathetic towards them.

But the white FogClanner's final mew was what truly amazed Birchtail. How in StarClan's name could Dovepaw think they didn't care for her? StarClan cats were like queens, they cared for every cat alike, no matter how sinful. But how sinful could a young apprentice be? the fact that the apprentice had stopped talking didn't bother Birchtail. She didn't care if Dovepaw didn't tell her everything. Her striped, tufted head cocked slightly as her amber-yellow eyes gleamed with thoughtfulness. "I thank you for your apology. But letting your feelings show is no shame, I think, for it is my belief that if we show how we are then we can be on the path to redemption and cleanliness. And of course I think StarClan cares about what happens to you. StarClan cares about every cat, no matter what they've done. Even PineClan, unaware of it though they are, have StarClan's care and love, the poor things. Punishment is not the ancestors' way. They guide, and cleanse, and gently show us how to live. I trust they can help you." Blinking contentedly, the long-furred tabby was quite pleased with herself and her speech.

[glowlynose]

Hah! Redemption and cleanliness! For Dovepaw, the accursed betrayer of her own siblings? The apprentice gave a skeptical snort and averted her gaze. She had made eye contact with Birchtail during her little motivational speech. The warrior's eyes could hold her captive no longer; their gaze was too piercing, too incriminating. Dovepaw felt that if she persisted with their eye contact she would either expose all of the secrets of her impure soul to the gentle she-cat (and no-one needed to see those) or she would wither away into nothingness. So it was not for her benefit, but for Birchtail's that she looked down.

"If there is any justice in the world, I should be punished, though. Evil deserves to be paid for. I've done some bad things, Birchtail. So bad that by rights I ought to be cursed for all of this life and the next." She paused and sighed heavily. "And now you're trying to tell me that StarClan hasn't cursed me? That punishment is not their way? How can they not punish me when I've- when I've- when I've condemned myself and my siblings?"

It's your fault. You left them for dead and now they're there. Your fault, Marshmallow. Your fault. No, she tried to tell herself, no, it isn't my fault. Ah, but the voices were more persistent, and soon they overcame her attempts at optimism. Another grief-laden sigh exploded from her lungs and she looked up at Birchtail with stricken eyes. "Tell me it's not true, Birchtail. Tell me it wasn't my fault. It was, but it wasn't at the same time. Oh, please Birchtail!"

[/center]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Birchtail's sympathy increased as the young cat spoke. She must very mature for her age, thought the tabby, if she realizes that she has done bad things. If she can admit it like that, then there is even more hope for her, because StarClan will understand that she can confess and live up to her sins, which means she's more deserving of forgiveness. The long-furred FogClanner was surprised to hear that Dovepaw had siblings. Somehow it was difficult to imagine her with brothers and sisters. But the main matter was that Birchtail saw that she must - it was her duty - to soothe this young cat who was so clearly in great distress.

"Dovepaw, there's always a way to earn forgiveness if you so-" The FogClanner stopped speaking as a huge sigh and then a cry that was almost a yowl of despair came from Dovepaw. The former queen was shocked, to say the least. But that initial emotion was put on hold as others took its place.

Slowly, carefully, acting on an instinctual, motherly feeling that welled up inside her for compassion at this white apprentice's emotional words, she padded in a small circle, stepping over prey, to stand beside her. She then sat next to Dovepaw, praying to StarClan she was doing the right thing. The older FogClanner looked not at the cat beside her as she spoke, but outward and upward, gazing at the sky as if it was to her revered ancestors she spoke. And in a sense, it was.

"I cannot judge for certain, for I did not witness the event you speak of. But our ancestors see all and know all, and they were watching you, I am certain. You are right that evil deserves to be paid for, and it is. But you must have been young when you, to use your own words, condemned yourself and your littermates. StarClan knows that youth sometimes make errors that have consequences far beyond what the perpetrator can imagine. Mercy on the young is acceptable, as long as they understand that they have done wrong, which you have.

Your regret and comprehension make you able to be forgiven, cleansed, and purified. They won't punish you because they know that you have the ability to redeem yourself. It might have even been intended by StarClan, to take your siblings to a better place. All you must do is believe it's possible, Dovepaw." Though slightly breathless after her long speech, the striped warrior felt certain that she had made an impact on Dovepaw.