[ i am blue ] (OPEN!)

[Slug]

"Bluefur, do you see those birds in the tree over there?"

Startled by the unexpected question, Bluefur glanced out of the corner of his eye at a pair of finches, suprising himself when he allowed a sad and tiny smile to grace his features.

"I'll bet that they'll make a nest, and then baby birds will magically appear. My mom told me that when it's time for baby birds to learn to fly, the parents kick them out of the nest until they figure it out for themselves. Sometimes the little birds die because it hurts so much, but most of the time they're just fine."

Bluefur sat in stunned silence, trying his best not to look away from Crowpaw's eyes-- the ones that were once pained, were now gleaming with this... knowledge. This odd form of twisted wisdom.

Wisdom that oddly began to making sense.

"I don't think either of us died, Bluefur. So it's okay that my feelings were hurt for a little while. I learned to fly a little bit better."

So he did hurt the little one-- at least for a bit. But had he really helped Crowpaw by hurting him, if only somewhat? Had he?

Bluefur didn't think so.

"The question is, though, will you let this help you fly, or will it kill you?"

He stared at Crowpaw, yellow eyes strangely calm. He no longer felt like the world was crashing down. He no longer felt himself crumble-- he was rebuilding himself. Regrowing. Returning like a flower out of Leaf-Bare. Though the frost still bit at his leaves, and the cold ground froze his roots, he would still grow.

He would fly.

"...I'm already starting to fly, Crowpaw." Bluefur said softly, gazing with relief at the other PineClanner. He didn't seem... so broken now. Sure, there were some rough edges and cracks on his pebble, but those would heal with time. And it was all because of Crowpaw. This tiny tom that had went out of his way to help him, despite their intense introduction. And for what it was worth...

Bluefur smiled.

---

OOC: Glowy, do want this thread to stop being private? :3 And, LOL. xD I hope you noticed that I took the last line from your drabble. <3 Awesomeness it was, I couldn't resist! ^.^

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw sat in nervous silence as Bluefur contemplated his words. He hadn't made a fool of himself, had he? He hadn't sounded so ridiculous that the warrior would never speak to him again, had he? Powers forbid, no! The little medicine cat hoped with every fiber in his being, yes, even down to the core of that mysterious thing inside everyone called a soul, that he hadn't just made an idiot of himself. If he was going to keep Bluefur's respect, he couldn't go around making an imbecile of himself. Nobody wanted to be seen with an ignoramus, much less talk to one.

With a blink, Crowpaw realized that he really shouldn't care about Bluefur at all. The hardened warrior's first reaction to the younger, vulnerable tom had been excruciatingly callous, even angry. Of course, his temper had dissolved in the blink of an eye later on, but only after Crowpaw had persisted with his... caring. Why had he done that instead of running like any sensible apprentice would have done? The answer was simple.

Love.

Of course, the love that was at the root of all that was right and good in the world had spurred Crowpaw into his merciful actions. It made perfect sense. Happiness consumed Crowpaw, and he seemed to glow with a radiance that could only come from one thing. To the eyes of some witnesses, such as the finches, he might have actually, literally glowed. All that the little tom knew was that now he had a purpose. He was to show love to everybody, even his enemies. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Bless those who curse you. That is the greatest creed anybody could ever live by. I choose this creed now.

Ah, peace. Sweet, blessed peace. How wonderful it was.

"I'm glad that you can fly now, Bluefur. The clouds have probably missed you. Because you've flown before, right? Right? You've been that happy before, right? The sky's a pretty lonely place with no happy souls to keep it company. And now we can keep it company together! Isn't that great?" Crowpaw beamed at his new friend, though his mind was wandering elsewhere. It must only rain or snow when the sky gets too lonely to bear the pain, and so it cries. Well, it wouldn't snow for a while now, with its two brand new friends to keep it company. Life was so great.

---

Ooc: Yeah, sure, we can make the thread public now, Slug. I'm fine with it. :3

[/center]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Woah. Wait. Was that Crowpaw over there? Was that her son? If it was...if her nose wasn't deceiving her...then he was talking to Bluefur. Bluefur.

Swallowpelt felt like she might be consumed with anxiety. Therefore, the only thing to do was to interfere. And fast.

"So, why haven't you killed my son yet? I'm curious." The large gray she-cat growled as she padded out from behind a bush where she had just buried a vole.

The former queen stood next to her kit, green eyes appearing hard as stones. There had better be a very good explanation for why the black apprentice was talking to this cat. A very good explanation. Likely as not Bluefur was working out how to slaughter him right now. Crowpaw had probably offered him a flower, and then he'd gotten annoyed, but he was gaining his confidence so he could execute him later on...

Perhaps she was imagining things, but still. It paid to be careful. Especially around such an angry, violent cat.

[Slug]

Bluefur smiled, amused at his new... friend. No, his first friend. The little one was definitely his first friend. He was the one who cared-- who tried. And he had succeeded in making him happy, if only for a little while.

But happy moments are meant to come to an end.

"So, why haven't you killed my son yet? I'm curious."

Bluefur nearly pissed himself at the voice, immediately recognizing it. Ears back and fur standing on end, the warrior tried his best to look unafraid-- to not show the fear that started eating at his insides, creating such a strong sense of doubt within him.

Maybe Crowpaw wouldn't be his first friend after all-- well, at least not for long.

"I wouldn't harm a fur on his head, Swallowpelt." Bluefur said, determination in his tone. Then his eyes narrowed at the she-cat, nostrils flaring at her scent. "Let me assure you that if any cat alive tried to lay a paw on him..." He rumbled, voice grim.

"...Well, they wouldn't be alive for long, that I can promise you." Bluefur raised his head high, shoulders squaring. He'd be damned if he let his first friend slip through his paws. Not now. Not ever.

Especially not ever.

"He... you have been given a good son, Swallowpelt." Bluefur felt so awkward to voice his thoughts, so abruptly nervous. Glancing at Crowpaw, he felt that anxiety be washed away by another wave of determination.

No, he wasn't going to loose the little one without a fight!

"He is the sun," Bluefur finally gritted angrily. "Without it, my world would surely be darkness." He felt so angry-- so upset. He didn't want to loose the little one-- he didn't want to loose his chance of happiness!

"You can't take the sun away from me."

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw squirmed as unease tickled his pelt. Why had his mother shown up? Hadn't she anything better to do than intrude on his personal conversations? He was sure that Bluefur had been just about to reach a breakthrough, that is, before Swallowpelt had seen fit to accuse his new friend of malicious intense. She must actually believe the ridiculous rumors about the big tom! How silly of her. She, of all cats, should know not to judge a cat before you got to know them a little bit.

"He's not going to hurt me, mom. We were learning to fly, see. He wouldn't be able to fly if he was going to do something bad like that... are you scared of him, mom? Don't be. He's a nice cat." If only his mother could see how good Bluefur was. Then she wouldn't accuse him of wanting to kill anybody. Because he didn't want to kill anybody, did he? No, that would just be mean. He didn't mean it when he said he'd kill anybody that tried to hurt the little apprentice, did he? As touching as that was, Crowpaw couldn't bear the thought of a life's blood being spilled in the name of protecting him. It would be better to die than to have the unlived days of another resting as a yoke on his shoulders.

"Oh, Bluefur, I'm not the sun! I just care's all." Crowpaw could do nothing but smile at Bluefur. Oh, how the little tom enjoyed smiling. It was a favorite pastime of his, just sitting there smiling. If only he could see himself, he would see that he really was like the sun in this dark forest of pines. Ah, but he could claim no credit for what he did. In his mind, it was all the work of that love that bound everything together. He was just a vessel for that love.

"Mom, why'd you think he was going to kill me? I'm pretty sure that from the way I introduced myself, if he was going to kill me, he would've already. You're so silly. I'm glad you two met each other though. Bluefur, this is my mom, Swallowpelt; Swallowpelt, Bluefur.

"But honestly, mom, we were just flying. The sky gets really lonely with nobody to keep it company. You wanna join us? I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Crowpaw looked back and forth between the two adult cats, nervously watching the sparks of tension fly up into the air. If they got into a fight because of him, he wouldn't be able to bear it. He noted duly that the finches must be frightened by the two warriors, for they had ceased in their joyous cavorting in the sky and now hid within the branches of the pine tree.

[/center]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

"I am the storm cloud that hides the sun."

What?

Where had that utterly stupid line come from? Was she losing it? Oh curses.

But then...was what the large tom said true? She wanted to believe it, but..she'd learned the hard way that things were too often too good to be true. "Why would you protect him so?" She queried, still somewhat suspicious but not accusing.

"Yes, he is a good son, just like my other kits...but how can he mean so much to you? He is not your kit. Why aren't you angry at him, like you are at everyone else? You...he...the sun.." She trailed off, uncertain of what to say, looking away awkwardly. It was just so weird that Bluefur, huge, angry, Bluefur, could be like this.

And then her kit started spouting the craziest things she'd ever heard. What was this nonsense about flying? What could it possibly mean? Nice? Bluefur? Was it possible that Crowpaw's friendliness had spoken even to this tom?

"I'm not scared of him." She growled. "I'm just concerned for you. I'd want to believe you...but I've never seen Bluefur nice. Ever. But then, who am I to talk?" She laughed dryly.

"You don't know that. He could have been gaining your trust to kill you later on. But then..." And here she looked at the blue tom critically, judging. "...maybe I am silly. Though pessimistic and suspicious would be better words. He doesn't seem the type to deceive."

"....Flying. The sky...needs company?" The PineClanner repeated the black apprentice's words incredulously. But then she thought of her own name. Swallowpelt. She remembered seeing the bird for which she'd been named so swift, its little, winged body soaring above the trees. Maybe, crazy as it sounded, she could in a sense fly. "Why not." She finally said. "I'm going crazy today, anyway." She laughed again. "Teach me how, my son. Teach me to be a swallow."

[Slug]

"I am the storm cloud that hides the sun."

Whatever Crowpaw had said, it all went in one ear and out the other as Swallowpelt spoke, urging a low, frustrated rumble from Bluefur. The storm cloud may hide the sun, but the earth could still turn and see the sun!

"Why would you protect him so?"

"...He deserves to be protected and safe. He deserves it. He loves so much, and asks nothing in return for doing so." Bluefur stated, tone leaving no room for disagreement.. "My protection and friendship is all I can offer." He said softly, as if ashamed that he could not give no more. "And you can't make me change my mind, Crowpaw." Bluefur suddenly added, flashing the tiny tom a small grin.

"Yes, he is a good son, just like my other kits...but how can he mean so much to you? He is not your kit. Why aren't you angry at him, like you are at everyone else? You...he...the sun.."

"I was angry at him at first, I admit..." Bluefur began slowly-- cautiously. "But he was the only one who tried to actually care. Why would I be angry at the only cat who cares about me, Swallowpelt?" He huffed, clearly beginning to become annoyed with the she-cat's questions. He then blinked as Swallowpelt began to ramble, brows rising.

...Well, it was good to know he wasn't the only crazy cat around.

[glowlynose]

"Teach me how, my son. Teach me to be a swallow."

Crowpaw looked at his mother, the bitter, angry she-cat that towered over him. She would need some serious help to learn to fly. Already it had taken a good portion of the afternoon to make Bluefur see a little bit. Oh, he saw just a little bit, just the tiniest portion of the light, of how good things could be. Crowpaw had managed to open the door a fraction. He'd wiped some of the years of grime off of the window, but there were still spots where the darkness blotted out the sun. However, his mother was a different matter entirely. She'd believed things about herself for so long that Crowpaw didn't think they could be remedied. Sorrow filled his entire being as he looked at the two cats. Neither of them would ever be able to truly fly; they were weighed down by years of life and the corruption that the world had brought them. So unfortunate they were... they saw him as the sun, not life.

"You remember that time you told me about the parent birds and how they taught their babies to fly? It's the same basic thing. You have to push past your pain and be happy, mom. You have to be truly, irrevocably happy, so happy that nothing could touch you or bring you down except yourself. Then you can fly whenever you want." Happy thoughts and a little bit of pixie dust? Nope, just happy thoughts. Crowpaw found himself unable to stay sad for some odd reason, and so he smiled. "Just like those birds over there."

Crowpaw was quite pleased with his explanation to his mother. And, joy of joys, the finches had come out of hiding! He grinned and waved his tail to them in greeting. "Welcome back to the world, lovebirds!" he called to them, and laughed a melodious laugh when they seemed to wave back at him. His eyes sparkled with glee, and for a moment, he asked himself why he was so blasted happy. Unfortunately, he couldn't come up with an answer, and so he shrugged and let the thought pass away.

"How come birds are so happy all the time? They practically live in the sky," he wondered aloud to nobody in particular.

[/center]

[Cloud of Diamonds]

What he was saying...it made the she-cat look at her son with astonishment, dark green eyes wide with surprise. And also a tiny bit of fear. It made sense, in a weird way...lightening oneself of worldly cares to rise into the sky. But...she couldn't do it. Not her. Not who she was.

For a moment, the former queen looked up, and imagined what it must be like to be Crowpaw. So young. So carefree. So sweet and cute and adorably crazy he could dream of flying. Having never hurt anyone.

For a heartbeat, Swallowpelt envied his innocence. But she knew the innocent in this world could never last. They always grew up, made mistakes. Trying to hold on to the purity of youth was like trying to catch clouds.

"...I can't, Crowpaw." She said softly. "Not me. I'm too weighed down to fly, I guess. I wish I could...but I can't."

The regret she felt for telling her son this surprised the dark gray PineClanner. Why should she feel sorry? It was all a fantasy, flying, anyway. And if Swallowpelt were to let go of all her accustomed pain, fear, grumpiness...she'd be completely unprotected from any kind of hurt, her very self completely in the air. The pure openness of it scared her.