you speak//i don't listen [HarexFire]

[Pyro]

"Oh soak your head. You can't honestly tell me that if I hadn't attacked, you wouldn't have. You've clearly been itching to scratch my face off from minute one." The she-cat grumbled a little. "It's nice to see you can put all your thoughts into an attack though. Even if it is verbal."

From the way she was talking, one would almost think Harepaw was preparing to give up. And anyone who knew Harepaw would think that absurd. And it was. But the more Harepaw thought about it the more she saw that what the fogclanner had said...was horribly wrong. She usually had very good manners. In fact, she'd been most civil at the gathering. Harepaw glanced at the rabbit. She wouldn't leave without it. And if she absolutely had to she'd tear it up and make it completely useless as fresh kill.

The apprentice shifted uneasily on her paws. She didn't want to try and fight Firepaw again. He'd probably be a bit more wary of her fighting style. He might even manage to keep a cool head. Maybe, just this once, it would be okay to try and avoid battle.

She sighed. How humiliating. "Look. I didn't mean to chase the damn rabbih over your stinkin' border. I just got a little caught up in the chase...But even if I did make a mistake, I'm not giving it up. It's my rabbih. So you can go ahead and tell your precious leader. Maybe our two clans will fight. If they do you can bet yer orange fanny they'll be a whole buncha bloodshed. Cats will probably die. Or." She paused to brush past him to stand once again at the rabbit. "You can let me take this back over to my side of the line. You can say you chased out a loner or whatever single-pawed and I can say I caught the cousin to my namesake." or rather, that I actually caught something. "It's a win-win. Glory on both sides. And then we never have to even look at each other or talk about this again."

[Whiskers]

Firepaw was astonished. Not at the cat's behavior-- okay, a little-- but at himself. Because as he listened to her, a full glare on his stubborn face, he found himself okay with this. He found himself agreeing with her. Why? What was wrong with him-- this stupid she-cat is a stupid Pineclanner! Firepaw let the word stand out in bold against the backdrop of his thoughts. Pine. Clanner. A Pineclanner who lived in, guess where? Pineclan. Pineclan equaled evil, sinful, immoral, untrustworthy cats.

He shouldn't be agreeing with one. In fact, his father had given him a lesson on Pineclan when he was a kit, a whole two days worth of do's and don'ts. It was a lecture that had bored Firepaw to tears, yet he had learned it and memorized the list, while Finchpaw had drifted off into daydream land and had to get the lessons repeated three more times. They were forever ingrained in Firepaw's brain, and now one jumped out at him and waved frantically. It was simply this: Don't let a Pineclan cat mess with your head. They play dirty; always play dirty back.

Following this advice, however, involved too much work and Firepaw was exhausted just thinking about it. He'd have to agree with her plan and then jump her when her back was turned and then drag the rabbit away from her screaming, kicking form and then race off to camp without getting jumped himself.

Just letting her go was so easy, plus he could say he chased an intruder off. Her scent was on his fur. He'd get some pretty wonderful merit points for this! It would be a good tale to brag about too, and he wouldn't have to risk injury or humiliation with this one.

But what if she stabbed him in the back? Since he wasn't supposed to trust her, she totally could. But why? He'd let her go with the rabbit, she'd have no reason to attack and try to kill him.

Fine. Firepaw would take the easy way out and reap the benefits of the choice. Maybe it wasn't the warrior way to do it, but it was the smart way to do it.

"...Fine. Sounds good to me," answered Firepaw gruffly, after his long, contemplative silence. And then, out of nowhere, came a question. It popped out of him before he could rethink it. "Namesake? What do you mean?"

He had inadvertantly asked for the she-cat's name. That was definitely on the 'don't' list.

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[Pyro]

Harepaw held back a sigh of relief as the FogClanners agreed. Ha! A FogClanner agreeing with a PineClanner. That was almost good enough to tell Shrikewhisker. But it would probably be best to keep the whole event--even the unheard of parts--on the down low. The apprentice smiled. And why let the other apprentices know that now, not only did she have her sharp claws and a weapon, but a sharp mind too.

Smiling slightly, she turned away from the tom and picked up her rabbit. But once again his voice held her back. This time with something entirely unexpected. The question was so natural she couldn't help but reply "'Harepaw." almost as soon as he asked. Seein' as rabbihs n' hares are related, you can understand what I said abou' catchin' mah namesake's cousin."

Now she had to ask for his. 'A name for a name' as the saying went. "If'n you don' mine me askin', Wus yer's? S'onleh fair you give me yer's seein' as you goh' mine."

[Whiskers]

Harepaw. It fit her. Not just in pelt, but in body, in spirit. She had long legs, wonderful legs, really, despite the fact that she was, overall, a smaller, slighter she-cat. She had the power and spring of a hare and Firepaw could recognize the strengths of this cat now that he was really looking at her. Harepaw. That was not a name that would strike fear into the hearts of an enemy, but it was a name of a true clan cat. And just like that, with the name firmly situated on the she-cat's face, Firepaw felt a seed of respect planted in his chest.

Wait, what-- he couldn't respect this she-cat! Not only was she just a rotten girl, butq2 she was a rotten Pineclan cat. Even if he recognized her as a good apprentice, there was no way he could peg her for a good cat. It sickened Firepaw deeply how he was acting. Not only was he letting this she-cat squirm onto his good side, but he was actually sad that she was Pineclan cat to begin with. If only she were Streamclan, Meadowclan. Sure, those two weren't chosen like Fogclan, but they weren't so stooped in sin that their souls were unreachable.

It prompted another question in Firepaw's mind. One he knew he would regret. But he said it anyway, right after he introduced himself.

"Name's Firepaw," he said casually. Now the question-- he spat it out before he could change his mind. "You're...not the worst cat in the world. So why in the name of Starclan did you choose Pineclan?"

Yeah, he'd regret it. She'd probably spit at him too and confirm everything he knew about Pineclan cats. Oh well. Maybe...if she wasn't totally misguided, he could help her.

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[Pyro]

Firepaw.

It suited him. He raged like fire, smoldered like it...his bright pelt...the name was very suited for him. Harepaw could only guess at the sorts of names his leader was mulling over for him. Firestorm? Fireheart? Fireclaw? He certainly had 'fire', that was for sure.

...And just like fire he was unpredictable. His question took her by surprise. Why did she join PineClan? When she had originally met the patrol that had found her, her only thoughts had been of survival. She convinced them and Gingerstar that she could be an asset to the clan, worthwhile. But not for any real reason. It was only afterward that she found out she fit in quite nicely with their beliefs. Sure she didn't hate, StarClan like some of her clanmates...But she sure as hell didn't believe in them either. And then she had been given to Shrikewhisker. After that, everything fell into place, and even when she found out her uncle Flossy, newly named Rabbitheart, was in another clan, she didn't feel the slightest temptation to join him.

"Why am I in PineClan...Why are you in FogClan? Because it feels...right. When I came to the clans, I didn't have anywhere to go. All I had was my uncle, Rabbitheart. And then we got separated while we were scoping out what clan to join. A PineClan patrol found me. I did have to prove I was worthwhile, but once I did everything just seemed right. Fine. Dandy. Even when I found out Rabbitheart was in a different clan, I didn't leave PineClan. We can still see each other at gatherings sometimes, after all. And...Gingerstar...She's proud, strong, and independent. She had the will power to break away and hold together a clan that no one thought would make it. Betraying her just to be with an uncle I'd still get to see just seemed wrong. Besides, in Pineclan, I can live in the now. I don't have to worry about how I'm living my life, so much as I'm living it. I have the comfort of knowing my decisions are my own, that I forge my own path, with my own paws, my own heart...We live by the living, not the dead. And if our ancestors really are up there, we honor them by keeping our clan strong so that when we die, the next generation will have something they can feel safe in and protect for other generations...Is that really so wrong, Firepaw?"

She looked at the tom, staring at him with pale green eyes that sparked with all her will power. "We may be different, but we don't go around persecuting others for their beliefs. We don't start, we only fight back when it comes to those kind of things. Does that really make us the scum of the earth your clan seems to think we are?"

[Whiskers]

The things that Harepaw said...they hurt Firepaw. They hurt him in his head, in his heart, made him feel sick again. This cat was obviously not good for his health. He wondered if, maybe, she was poisoning him with her words, if he was slowly becoming infested with sin the way his brother was infested. He did not want to believe that, he did not want to believe a lot of things she was saying. But it sounded like she had been caught by Pineclan's trap, and had been eaten by the sin herself. But yeah, she wasn't bad. She wasn't scum.

But he wasn't allowed to think that.

Review your rules, Firepaw, Firepaw told himself.

1. Pineclan cats always lie. Accepted. She was lying now, she was using words and making his head hurt.

2. Pineclan cats have no souls. Accepted. She was not capable of feeling Starclan's love, she did not care about his feelings either. She only wanted to make him hurt, to drag him into the Dark Forest.

3. Pineclan cats were doomed. Accepted. There was no saving her. Leave and don't come back.

No. Rule number three was not accepted. He couldn't look at this cat-- this relatively pretty, normal, reasonable cat-- and just leave her when-- but she was doomed. But she had no soul. But, but, but. He couldn't decide which side to believe. His head seriously hurt right now.

He just needed to stop thinking. Finchpaw became the way he was because he let himself think, let those thoughts soak in. Firepaw could not become that.

"Look, I dunno. Fact is, I can't imagine living without Starclan. Fact is, Starclan is real, so real that...I mean I know they are. My brother's a medicine cat apprentice, my dad had a vision that saved his whole life. Starclan has changed so many lives in my clan that I mean, guess we feel like you...turning your backs on our ancestors is insulting us, or calling us stupid. And my dad just-- my whole clan tells me that you're doomed. You're going to die and go to the Dark Forest and be miserable. And no offense to Gingerstar, but she just seems like a whole bunch of unpleasant to me."

He paused. He really didn't have any idea how to answer her, to convince her that she was wrong. That she could maybe still save herself. "I was pretty much born a clan cat. My mom died because of me and my brother, but she wanted us in Fogclan. I'm there because it's her wish. I want to honor her wish. And...yeah I guess I'm living for my mom, and yeah she's "dead," but not really. She's still alive. In Starclan. So all of us aren't living for the dead, not really, because we believe you don't really die and that's just better than the alternative, isn't it?"

He wanted to say so much more, but he couldn't find the words. Looking at this cat though-- at Harepaw, he felt so sad. Because deep down, he knew that she wasn't going to hear him, that she really was nothing but sin now. Where had her soul gone anyway?

If only he could bring it back to her.

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[Pyro]

Harepaw smiled a bit. "It mus' be nice to have thah, Firepaw. A clan to be in and a second to go to to be with all your family." She sighed. "But jus' like ya'll don' seem to be able to live withou' them, we can live with 'em."

No...Could she? Could she believe in StarClan? No, that was the wrong question. Could she truly believe in StarClan, or would she just go through the motions. For a split second she had the urge to ask to come back with Firepaw, to join his clan, to see what having 'faith' was all about...but another second later she pushed such thoughts aside. She could never do that. Just as she could never abandon her clan for her own uncle, she could not abandon them for silly cats in the sky. They were her family. She couldn't leave them. StarClan didn't exist. And if they did, what use were they? Just a place to go to when you were dead. That didn't do anything for those who were still living.

The she-cat glanced at the sky that was visible through cracks in the canopy. It was darker than it had been when she started hunting. Had she really been here for so long/ She still ad to disguise her scent and the scent of the rabbit...Of course, that could always be done by walking through the areas of thicker foliage. She tried to convince herself that time was the reason she wanted to go, but it didn't work. She really just wanted to go on a semi-good note. She didn't want to leave Firepaw spitting and hissing insults. That would be stereotypical of the relationship between their clans.

Laughing a bit she said, "Gingerstar is going to be really unpleasant if I don't get back soon. Then I'll really be doomed."

[Whiskers]

Firepaw couldn't help how irritated he felt. But for once, he wasn't wholly irritated at another person, he was irritated at himself. He wished he had said something else. He wondered if that would make a difference anyway. But what was there to say, and even if he knew what he needed to say to get Harepaw to believe, fact was, he wouldn't know how to say it. He wasn't talented like that, he didn't know how to "use his words," as his father said. He had been told over and over to do just that-- to use his words-- but he always failed to. He had to act, he couldn't plop his bottom down and talk. This was a rare moment indeed, because he had tried.

But he had failed. Now if there was something Firepaw could show Harepaw...or do...well it didn't matter. Harepaw wanted to leave. Firepaw could sense it, could just feel it and as his own rule, not one passed down by his dad, he followed his gut. Because he felt that too, it made him irritated with her as well. He wanted to snap at her to just stop rushing, that Gingerstar could just wait for all he cared, that this conversation could SAVE her and so it was more important than anything else on her oh so busy agenda. Even then though, she'd just scoff at him and see him as foolish.

No one ever took him seriously anyway.

Firepaw frowned, his brow creased. He stared at Harepaw for a long moment and he controlled himself. He almost told her to shut up and listen for once. He almost sneered "Fine, take my Starclan-forsaken rabbit to your badger of a leader, your doomed clan needs it anyway."

Instead he let out a frustrated sigh and looked away. A firm pout was set on his face now and one might laugh at how ridiculous he looked-- he was no fierce warrior, rather a cute young tom throwing a temper tantrum. Well, that was Firepaw in a nutshell anyway.

"Yeah yeah... whatever," he said grumpily. His grumpiness faded for just a second and his yellow gaze flickered to Harepaw once again. "But...Harepaw if you...if you have any questions or whatever, I wouldn't...would be alright with answering them. Happy, even. Uhm...yeah."

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