Take me with you, I start to miss you [loonxgoose]

[Whiskers]

The sound of Loonstep's laugher made Goosefur's face draw itself into a pout, though a playful one. She did not know this "Swallowpelt," true, but she could only assume that she was a monster if Loonstep was acting like this! She smiled at her friend and his incessant laughter-- it was good to make people laugh. A soft light entered Goosefur and she laughed a little too. She had almost forgotten how she used to make plenty of cats laugh, not just her closest friends. It was a little sad to know that she had almost lost that, because she had been so busy missing them.

It was Loonstep's laughter that inspired her. Goosefur decided that when she got back to Streamclan after his visit, she would try more. She would talk to more cats, she would impress Cloudstar. She'd start to make a name for herself and be as goofy and stupid as she was during the journey. She'd be happier if she did that, and maybe, Goosefur hoped, her clan would be happier too.

But that doesn't mean I have to stop seeing them, the little voice inside her head told her, almost asked her actually. You can see visit Loonstep, maybe not as often but...look at him. Listen to him. He's part of you. You can't leave it all behind.

Goosefur would love to listen to that voice too. But part of her-- the other part, and it was a bit louder, was asking her just how long she planned to hold on anyway.

It was too much to think of right now. Right now, she had this moment. She had Loonstep and his laughter, and his laughter was prettier than the snow at her feet, or the sun above the sky. And she wanted to drown herself in his laughter, for this moment.

"Is that a challenge, Loonstep? Because you know me, I can't resist those," And with a cheeky grin, Goosefur reacted on impulse and put a paw across the border. Now, she was confident that Loonstep wouldn't attack her, though he might get a little serious. But it was all for fun, anyway, so why should he?

She took another step. She had two paws across the border now. She lifted her head so she could look up at her taller friend. Another step. Another step. She was completely across the border, and just an inch from Loonstep's face. She smiled as wide as she could.

"I'm over your border now. Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?" And though she tried to remain smart-alecky and challenging, she couldn't help but giggle, and blink some snow away from her eyes.

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[Cloud of Diamonds]

Oh. No. She hadn't. She had, hadn't she? The PineClanner heaved a sigh. He liked Goosefur, he really did, but there were times when she didn't get the idea of limits. Like this one. But he would be gentle about it. Firm, but gentle.

So, with a slight smile on his face, he swayed back, then headbutted her for all he was worth, sending her tumbling backwards across. Or mostly across. And for some reason, his heart beat slightly faster as he did it. Stupid fur, he thought. This pelt is too darn hot, even for snow.

"I do this." He said, struggling to keep the laughter out of his voice. "Bad goose, you flew the wrong way. I had to send you back, your flight was a bit off."

He smiled. Why couldn't his life always be like this?

[Whiskers]

Goosefur's wide honey-colored eyes bore into Loonstep's, and she waited for what seemed like two moons, though it was only two beats of her excited heart. Her tail curled up, her nose quivered and she wondered what her friend was going to do. Though she was doing this for fun, there was something more to it, a grain of hope that Loonstep would almost...accept her onto his land.

But that was not the case. Loonstep lowered his head and Goosefur knew what he was going to do a second before he did it. But she didn't jump back, she took the full grunt of the blow, and she let herself get pushed off balance. She landed on her back, half her body on Pineclan territory, the other half on Streamclan land. The shock of cold snow was what knocked the breath out of her though, and she let out a tiny squeak. She looked upward at Loonstep, her eyes strangely indignant, though the emotion was mixed with amusement.

Deep inside though, there was a bit of hurt, and she felt it in her chest. Goosefur knew that this simple action was Loonstep defending his land.

He did feel loyalty to Pineclan. He...he felt the need to protect the territory, though she was just Goosefur, and she would never hunt on it. And Goosefur felt hardly anything to Streamclan. In fact, if Loonstep was not so serious, she would invite him over, and they could run and play together.

But no. They had to sit opposite of each other instead, never touching, never giving each other fond licks or silly bops on the head. The only contact she would have with Loonstep now was going to be defensive...or offensive.

Though these thoughts swirled in the she-cat's head, she found a smile inside her, plucked it out of the darkness, and gave it wholeheartedly to her best friend. He may of upset her, but he was just being a good warrior, something she was incapable of being.

"Oh! How dare you hit a she-cat!" She huffed and then jumped up and moved back to Streamclan, her movements a bit jerky and maybe too swift. If Loonstep was paying attention, he would notice that he really did shake her up a bit. "And now look at me! I have snow all over my fur!" Her eyes glinted as she began to shake it off, like a dog would shake off water-- and just like the water, the snow went everywhere, in every direction...especially toward her good friend Loonstep.

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[Cloud of Diamonds]

"Blaugh!" Loonstep got a mouthful of snow just as he was about to answer Goosefur's indignant reply. It surprised him so much he half-fell backward, teetered, then swung forward. He ended spitting out the snow...right back at his paws. Wow.

"Okay, I think I've been punished enough." He coughed, eyes closed. Yawning, he slumped down just on his side of the border. Oh how he would love to simply pin Goosefur right now and lie on her until she begged to be let up.

But that wasn't acceptable. Not anymore.

He longed, now, for the time when they'd both belonged to the same Clan, eating, playing, and even sleeping in the same den. Loon and Crane and Duck and Goose...all four bird cats, one tight but now split loose, and apart.

I really must be getting tired if my brain is spouting nonsense like this, he thought.

"Hey, Goosefur, you willing to let me sleepwalk back to my camp? I'm having a blast here, but I do need to sleep."

Sure it might be rude to ask to leave first...but they'd been here long enough and he did have to get his sleep. He felt a bit guilty, though, not wanting the little cat to think he was eager to go.

[Whiskers]

He wanted to go. Goosefur's heart sank and her face followed, the spark in her eye snuffed out with a quick blink. But they had just arrived! Or...had they? Goosefur was one to lose track of time, and when she was with her friends, well, the time slipped away much easier too. If they had truly been out very long, then her clan might miss her.

Probably not though. Goosefur kind of did not care right now. She was having a swell time with Loonstep and she did not want it to end. She wanted it to go on and on, she wanted to play with him like they were kits again! Kithood would always be the fondest memory that she had, and she doubted, what with the way life was going now, that anything would beat it.

"Oh? I didn't realize you were so tired," Goosefur smiled sadly, but honestly at least. "Remember when we were just kits and we all slept together in one big pile? And we'd talk for half the night, until the queens told us to shut our mouths?" A soft laugh tinkered from Goosefur's mouth as she remembered. They did annoy the queens. A lot. "And in the end, I'd always have to wiggle away because Cranetail would kick at me. Sometimes I didn't even get an hour's worth of sleep, but it never mattered."

She didn't know why she was bringing the memory up now. Probably because she had no one to share these things with, and if she didn't say them, Goosefur feared they would soon only feel like dreams, instead of memories.

"I sleep pretty soundly in Streamclan though. All through the night, never have woken up once. But I miss the nights when I couldn't sleep, and when I opened up my eyes, you would be there." Once again, Goosefur gave Loonstep a small smile. "I hope you sleep soundly in Pineclan, Loonstep. And do you know when we'll be able to see each other again?"

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[Cloud of Diamonds]

Did she have to? Did she have to pull on his heart until all he wanted was to give it up and join StreamClan no matter his reservations? They say a picture holds a thousand words, and if they could, Loonstep's eyes would hold volumes.

Memories...so sweet, and yet so painful, like a perfumed thorn bush. That familiar meow just made him want to lose himself in time, wander like a nomad, switching ages at random, staying in a time for a while.

But he could not.

And they were no longer together.

Together...did he even know what that truly felt like anymore? This wasn't together. Together was living together, spending their lives together. Together was...not in different Clans.

Together was something he could never be with Goosefur. And maybe it was for the better anyway.

He was such good friends - he wanted to keep it that way. Damn the warrior code, damn the boundaries - he just wanted this. But never could he fly the same skies as her, for he'd vowed never to fall in that darkest, most mysterious of pits - love.

The black and white tom felt like he was being washed away not of his own accord, lost in a sea of troubles, not flying like he'd been able to once.

Somehow, after painfully gazing at her for what seemed forever with huge yellow eyes, he found words.

"Oh, Goosefur - I remember everything. I never want to forget. But I'll have to, one day..." He sighed deeply. He felt like his heart was being shredded to pieces and he was choking up.

He had to do this. He had to break her heart, break his own. Why? Because somewhere, deep down, he was loyal to PineClan, and that had taken him over, won control. It didn't care about his suffering. It just wanted his loyalty. It didn't care. Loonstep stared at the ground as if it knew why life was so hard.

"...but the truth is that I don't know when I'll be able to come again. I...I'm sorry. I miss those nights too. More than you can imagine. I...I sleep soundly when I'm tired. When I'm not...all I can do is remember. Yet when I'm fast asleep...I dream of you all."

When the former ForestClanner finished speaking, his voice was a whisper. He'd almost said 'you.' That scared him.

Because if he'd wanted to say that, then he was worse off than he'd realized.

[Whiskers]

This whole...arrangement was so stupid. Goosefur was filled with sudden anger, so much that it inundated her whole body and made her shiver. Some cats said anger made them hot; it made Goosefur cold. It drained her body of its warmth and happy smiles and loud, unladylike snorts and giggles. Why had she even brought them up? Them being, well, them-- herself, Loonstep, Cranetail, Duckstripe. Them being the memories too. She should have kept them locked up. She could see that Loonstep only felt sadness when he relived them, unlike Goosefur. Because when Goosefur closed her eyes and transported herself back to the days of kithood, apprenticehood, she felt wonderfully blissful. It was only when she opened her eyes, the bliss wore off, and she found herself in Streamclan, that she felt the twinge of sadness.

But she had shared, and Loonstep looked like he felt guilty, almost ashamed. Of her? Of everything they had been through maybe, and his inability to let go of it? Look what she was doing to her poor, poor friend! She wanted to reach into Loonstep's ears and pry out her words. Relive this moment again, make it a happier one.

Well, she had to have their meeting end happy, even though it looked like that was hopeless. But she, Goosefur of Streamclan, would make it happen. Wasn't she supposed to be good at bringing smiles? Yes, yes, that was one of her talents!

She may stumble through her attempt, but maybe her clumsy try would earn a tease of a smile from Loonstep. That's all she wanted.

"They're nightmares probably," Goosefur teased, "I mean, with Cranetail in them, they've gotta be pretty bad. And hey, don't sweat meeting me for a while. The gathering will be coming up soon and as long as you get your behind to that meeting, we can just talk then. Plus you can introduce me to all your new friends, plus that charming little Elmpaw." She exclaimed, wiggling her eyebrows. Ah yes, his apprentice. Goosefur really was serious about that little tidbit.

"So I guess this is good-bye, right?" And now, Goosefur felt shy, and her upbeat, silly demeanor melted into an awkward one. She scuffled her paws and let her eyes drift from Loonstep to the ground and then back up again. And then, an impulse seized Goosefur and she closed the distance between her and Loonstep, stretched her neck, and gave him a lick on his cheek. Her fur brushed his as she pulled back.

"Be safe, okay? And stay outta trouble, Loonstep!" with that last breathless comment, Goosefur turned tail and pranced away, sending one last glance over her shoulder-- and one more friendly smile-- before she disappeared.

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