Nice to meet you, Pain. I'm Love. (CrowpawxOPEN)

[glowlynose]

Escape. That was all Crowpaw thought about as he stumbled toward the border between his clan and FogClan. He just needed to get away from camp and everything there. Oh, nothing particularly important had happened. Nothing other than the usual, at least. Warriors woke up and started bickering with each other over the most inane little things, and there was always the matter of his sister, Willowpaw, and how much she hated him. It was easy to brush off the warriors most of the time. After all, what else could you expect from somebody who lived to fight, not to heal? But Willowpaw...

Crowpaw sighed deeply. He and his sister had not spoken in so long. In fact, they had only seen each other a few times since he'd become what he was. It was like she was avoiding him. Oh, he sought her out, yes, but she was always off training or something. He'd thought many times about popping into the apprentices' den and leaving her a flower or some small token to let her know that he still loved her. He never did though. All the smells would get jumbled up in there, too jumbled. The black apprentice shook his head, his shoulders shaking with sorrowful breaths. Crowpaw would not even be able to find his sister's bed by smell.

Crowpaw didn't even remember what his sister smelled like.

Finchpaw should be here, he thought. Finchpaw knows what it's like to have your flesh and blood turn on you. Crowpaw couldn't go to anybody at camp about this. They just wouldn't understand. Happy, odd little Crowpaw, sad? Never. It wasn't humanly possible. Crowpaw couldn't possibly feel pain. He took away pain, it was what he did. It was his job. He couldn't feel what he feared most in the whole world, what he worked every day to take away from everybody around him if only for a moment. It just wasn't right.

Yes, he thought, Finchpaw. I need Finchpaw. But, just like escape, Finchpaw was nowhere to be found. Now Crowpaw was just alone. He couldn't even feel whatever force it was that made him love everybody. The Great Love was distant. Had it abandoned him forever? Did it abandon cats as they got older? Was that why every older cat was stuck in a rut, weighted down by the pain they felt? Was that all that awaited him later on?

No, it couldn't be that. The Great Love was still there, somewhere. Crowpaw just had to trust, and not give up hope. What good would abandoning hope do him? At least when he had hope, he had something. Maybe the more he trusted, the more he would feel the Love. And then everybody would be happy, or at least he would, because he would finally have something more powerful than his loneliness and despair, and all those bad things would be burned away in the fires of Love. Maybe after that happened, he would even be more himself. It made sense to him, because he saw that the more everybody around him gave in to pain, they became less and less like themselves. So all everybody needed was to let Love burn away the pain that pierced their hearts, shards of ice and seemingly impenetrable cold.

Crowpaw sat down and stared at the sky, in awe of his mind, in awe of what he believed without first knowing he believed it. Oh, what an outcast he was in the world of violence and cynicism that defined his home- not just PineClan, but Fog, Meadow, and Stream as well. How could he get them to see?

A bush rustled on the other side of the border. Or maybe it was his side of the border. He couldn't tell which; he wasn't trained to pick out sounds like that. He could sniff out a medicinal herb better than anybody in his clan with the exception of the medicine cats, but put him in a warrior-like situation, and he was lost. "Um... hello? W-who's there? Please come out. I can't hurt you."

Wide turquoise eyes, sparkling with uncertainty and fear, could only stare. The body that those eyes belonged to could only freeze up and glance around. And the medicine cat apprentice that lived inside that body could only hope that he was not about to meet his doom.

[/center]

[Slug]

Bluefur had spotted the small tom while hunting, the noticeable gloom about the PineClanner urging him to follow-- to investigate the little one's troubled look. Though Bluefur himself was having... difficulties, so to speak, he still wanted to help. To do something for Crowpaw, but he was held him. Something stopped him from confronting Crowpaw-- even when a sigh escaped the black feline.

The realization that he couldn't help Crowpaw. He couldn't even help himself, and it frustrating the warrior. The one who picked him up was falling down, and he could only stand and watch the pieces.

Then just like that, Crowpaw's entire being appeared a little lighter. Not as quite clouded as it had been only moments before. What are you thinking, Crowpaw? Bluefur wondered, a prickle of envy in his heart. How could such one as young as Crowpaw so easily put himself together? It was ridiculous. It was unfair in some cases.

I shouldn't think like that, Bluefur told himself, shame gnawing at his gut. I should be proud that I have such a... remarkable clanmate.

And he was.

"Um... hello? W-who's there? Please come out. I can't hurt you."

Foxdung!

How could he have forgotten to keep still, of all things? It would've been a simple day. Check on Crowpaw and then leave. Simple, simple, simple. But now it got a tad... complicated, thanks to his terrible stalking skills. How did he even become a warrior? Yeesh...

"At ease, little one," Bluefur rumbled from the foliage, yellow eyes glowing as they peered from the shadows of the leaves. "It's only me," he soothed, creeping out from his hiding place.

[Rolo]

It was an understatement to say Frostpaw was enjoying her time away from camp. A very very big understatement.

Recently, her life had become ridiculously Starclan orientated. Whether she liked it or not, she was either listening to a council member ranting about Starclan, refuting the idea of Starclan, or talking about the idea of refuting Starclan. Every minute of every day, she was under constant scrutiny by young and old, the council nervously watching to ensure she didn't 'poison' the minds of the young ones and the kits and apprentices themselves too wary of punishment if they approached her. Although she wasn't effected by the mouse-brained talk and drama that went round about her (the punishments were particularly laughable), she was tired of the constant talk of purity. It was like having an ever present swarm of nats around her head, whether she was in camp or out of it. Her situation was more irritating than upsetting.

So she'd sought freedom from those swarming insects and taken a walk round the perimeters of her territory. Sure, it was very close to doing actual duty, which was not entirely desirable, but it gave her the chance to breathe for a while without the threat that she'd have to spew out another confession for shirking duties. Besides, she needed a change of scene. Her mind had become so centred on the debates and trouble in 'her' clan, she'd begun to forget there was a world outside it. Looking across the other territories, the places she had not yet had time to explore, she reminded herself that there was more to life than denying the existance of starry ancestors, and what better a place to do that then Pineclan territory?

She ambled merrily along, following with the boarder line exactly with as much precision as she could, one side in Fogclan, the other in Pineclan. Tempted though she was to cross over from her side to the one she felt she belonged, she had enough respect for the other clan to resist her urge to do so and merely pretend she was part of both worlds. It was unfortunate that she wasn't, really. She yearned to leave Fogclan behind and join somewhere where she might be vaguely respected, but she couldn't. To leave it now would show be to leave every innocent cat (innocent in action and mind, not in faith) to succumb to Miststar's word, and she wouldn't let that happen.

So for now she'd just remember there was a universe outside Fogclan, waiting for her to join.

Consumed in thought, it was a long while before Frostpaw realised there were cats in the immediate area. From the smell of them, they were Pineclan cats too. She felt a rush of happiness. She hadn't been able to contact cats from any other clan for moons now, kept from the gatherings as she was, and the prospect of talking to cats who weren't obsessed with purity was a welcome one.

Creeping closer, Frostpaw wandered close enough to them to be able to see them, checking out the possible companions. She felt a pang of disgust when she realised that Crowpaw, a medicine cat, was there, but beggars couldn't be choosers. Right now, any Pineclanner would do.

Frostpaw would have jumped straight into the conversation if it hadn't been for the other tom who was standing there. This blue-grey figure was one she didn't recognise and, although she was quite apt at fighting, she really wasn't prepared to have her ears swiped off by trying to open a conversation with him. No, she'd have to settle her anticipation and wait for an appropriate opening... or wait for the older tom to wander off.

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw smiled and laughed, mostly at himself for being scared. He should have known that he was protected within the scent walls of his territory. Anything that went on in here was safe.

Seeing the big blue-furred tom, his closest friend in PineClan, made Crowpaw smile even more. They had not spoken in some time. Both had been too busy with the duties of their stations to make any time to really talk. Oh, sure, they had seen each other around camp a few times, made eye contact, but then they'd had to go on with their jobs. Crowpaw went to the Elders or back to his den, and Bluefur left for the forest. It was a sad situation, really, if one stopped to think about it. But now was not the time to stop and think about it.

"Bluefur!" he cried, flinging himself at the much older, much larger warrior. His front legs wrapped around Bluefur's shoulders and he tried to wrestle him to the ground. Yeah. That really worked well. In the end, Crowpaw only made a dork out of himself, but he was a happy dork, and Bluefur was his friend, so he understood.

"Oh, Bluefur, I'm so glad to see you! It's been a while. How come you haven't stopped in to see me? I've missed you." There could be no doubt that the little apprentice genuinely meant what he said. Even without the reputation that preceded him, Crowpaw's face betrayed the fact that he truly had missed his friend. Call him a sap if you feel like. Whatever floats your boat.

"How are you? Are you doing okay?" Crowpaw hoped so. Bluefur certainly seemed a lot better than the first time they had met. Or, rather, he'd stumbled, quite literally, into his big, burly friend. Back then, all those moons ago, Bluefur had been a different cat. He'd been angry with... well, everything, and that hadn't been translating very well into the rest of his personality. In short, Bluefur had been a mountain of 'Who peed on your mouse this morning?' But now he was happier, or appeared to be.

There was something in Bluefur's eyes, though, that made Crowpaw stop and take a second look. That something he had seen all those moons ago wasn't gone yet. There was less of it, sure, but it was still there. Or maybe it was all still there and some of it was just hiding. Well, pain couldn't hide from Crowpaw! "Are you okay?"

Crowpaw would have kept his attention rapt on Bluefur except there was a noise form behind that made his ear twitch. Oh, right, and the sudden smell of FogClan. That could be problematic. He turned and, squinting, looked at the FogClanner who had interrupted this unplanned meeting with Bluefur. It was Frostpaw. What was she doing here? As far as he'd heard, she had a reputation for hating all cats. Or maybe she just hated her clan. She would be justified in that, he had to admit.

"Hi Frostpaw!" he called, but regretted it almost immediately. He'd practically sent an unspoken invitation to Frostpaw to come onto their territory. That could get him into serious trouble with Gingerstar if she ever found out. As if that wasn't enough, he was pretty sure she hated him because he was a medicine cat apprentice. Oh well. Love everybody, even those who hate you, right?

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[Slug]

The jadedness left Bluefur the moment Crowpaw flung himself at the blue warrior, urging a rumble of amused purrs from the large PineClanner as the smaller tom tried in vain to overpower him. A long way to go before that happens, he mused, cracking a crooked grin at his lively clanmate, following it up with a soft swat to the hind leg.

"Alright, alright," he huffed, yellow eyes gleaming with mirth. "My reputation as PineClan meanest has suffered enough today, you kit!"

"Oh, Bluefur, I'm so glad to see you! It's been a while. How come you haven't stopped in to see me? I've missed you."

To see such an open, welcoming face was only one of the many things that Bluefur had missed about Crowpaw. What he had done to deserve a cat like this one, he would never know, but he certainly wasn't about to complain! "Ai, little one. I'm sorry for that," he said, frowning. "I've been playing catch-up with my duties again."

"How are you? Are you doing okay?" Crowpaw asked, and Bluefur had to allow a gentle smile cross his maw. "You've become a mother hen, Crowpaw," he noted, almost cheekily. But no, cheeky wasn't Bluefur. Angry and blue and fluffy was Bluefur. Nooot cheeky.

He'd have to keep telling himself that if it was going to happen.

"Are you okay?"

Nothing gets pass you, does it? Bluefur thought grumpily. How was he going to explain this one to Crowpaw?

A rustle, then the sickly sweet scent of FogClan hit the roof of his mouth and Bluefur narrowed his eyes. "FogClan...?" he murmured, wary. And so close to the border?

"Hi Frostpaw!"

Wait, what?

There she was, FogClan's sarcastic in all her finest. Anger prickled Bluefur's skin, hackles beginning to rise-- then he shoved the feeling down as best he could, ears swiveling back as he stared hard at the she-cat. Crowpaw obviously knew her. Somehow.

Good behavior, good behavior, good behavior, Bluefur chanted in his head, tail twitching anxiously. There was no reason to be so hostile-- yet. She hadn't crossed the border. Hadn't done anything to earn Bluefur's claws in her face. Yet, yet, yet.

"Pray tell," he began, voice smooth as a cold stream. "What you are doing so close the border?"

[Rolo]

Frostpaw listened to the happy exchange between the two attentively, trying to fathom the relationship between the two and, more importantly, whether the larger tom was a distinct threat. He seemed like a cat that was all talk and no bite. "Pineclan's meanest" would not swat an apprentice away from him playfully, he'd remain silent while knawing their face off. He was still dangerous, but she didn't think he was ridiculously unsafe. Besides, from Crowpaw's reaction to the dark blue tom, he was nice and harmless enough. Why else would the kit-apprentice fling himself at him with no apparant fear? Then again, the little medicine cat apprentice did seem a little gormless. He seemed excitable and kittish in his enthusiasm, a set of traits that didn't make Frostpaw hopeful about intelligent conversation, and she wouldn't be surprised if he would attempt to nuzzle a fox in his friendliness.

The tom's sudden turning to her with an enthused greeting did nothing to alter this suspicion.

Frostpaw couldn't help but be momentarily taken aback by Crowpaw's openness. She didn't know whether to be impressed by the boldness or scornful about the cat's lack of awareness. She could understand making friends with cats from other clans, but you had to do it cunningly, with some awareness that what they were doing was a little silly and dangerous. Crowpaw had simply shouted across the boarder while standing next to what could only be a warrior. Brave? Yes. Sensible? No.

The older tom had a more typical reaction to her presence. Hostile, threatening. Although Frostpaw was careful to analyse his stance, she wasn't too bothered by it. As long as she stayed on her side of the boarder and ensured she didn't insult the tom (too blatantly), she'd be fine. Hopefully.

She stepped forward once so that she was more clearly in their sight and sat herself down, neatly curling her tail round her paws.

"Hello, Crowpaw." Frostpaw purred smoothly, ignoring the older tom, "Not in the mood to collect herbs today?"

She turned to the tom, whose name she still couldn't remember, "Is it possible to 'pray tell' if you don't believe in Starclan?" Frostpaw mused with a soft smile on her face, "Don't worry, my presence here isn't some kind of a threat. I'm pretending to patrol the boarder so the idiotic council don't give me an earful when I get back to camp. Count yourself lucky that you don't have to worry about your state of 'purity', counting your sins really is a dull past time."

[glowlynose]

Crowpaw grinned knowingly at Bluefur. He didn't really care about his reputation, not out here without the rest of PineClan watching his every move. If Crowpaw had pulled a stunt like that in camp, Bluefur's dignity would have suffered immensely. But nobody else from PineClan was around, so Crowpaw could be as affectionate toward his friend as he gosh darn pleased. That was one of the nice things about the woods. In the woods, nobody had to worry about eyes constantly watching, so they were free to truly be themselves. Crowpaw could tackle Bluefure if he wanted, and Bluefur could smile and laugh if he wanted. It was a win-win situation, all around.

"You've become a mother hen, Crowpaw." Haha, oh, Bluefur. He was always making jokes like that. Crowpaw didn't understand them all the time, but he still smiled anyway, for Bluefur's benefit. If Crowpaw didn't smile at something Bluefur said while he was happy, Bluefur could get upset. He'd seen that happen a few times before just in watching his friend interacting with other clanmates. And nobody wanted Bluefur to be upset.

"Bluefur, what's a hen?" he asked after giving his smile a few seconds to settle in. Bluefur shouldn't mind him asking. Their talks always resulted in Crowpaw asking at least one question, usually a 'What is that?' type question. "Bluefur, what's a bigot?" "Bluefur, what's a firefly?" "Bluefur, what are those fish doing?" Yeah, that last one had been an interesting one.

Ah, now Frostpaw had come out of hiding, though she was still on the other side of the border. Good. Crowpaw shuddered to think what Gingerstar's wrath might have been if Frostpaw had been just a little more presumptuous. She might have... she might have exiled him. Or worse, she might have made him become a... a warrior apprentice! That would have been a fate worse than death. He would have had to cause death.

"No, I guess not, Frostpaw. The head medicine cat is out collecting them instead, and he didn't ask me along. He never does." A cloud temporarily darkened Crowpaw's face. Thinking about his mentor never made him happy. Heck, his mentor barely deserved the title. Crowpaw couldn't think of a single thing his mentor had taught him except how to figure things out for himself.

"So I'm just escaping for a while."

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[Slug]

The second Frostpaw said StarClan, Bluefur hissed, ears swiveling back. That name was poison. An infection. He wanted nothing to do with it, or it's mousebrained followers--

Wait, what?

The warrior stared in disbelief at the white she-cat, torn between laughing in her face and going "bwuh?" What type of FogClanner didn't believe in StarClan? How could she even cope with the foolishness every single day? One day was far too much for Bluefur-- he would go insane and eat them all, that's what. Fuzzy blue cannibal, he thought, grimacing at the ground. That doesn't sound so bad when FogClanners are the prey.

Leif would have smacked him upside his head for that, but Leif wasn't here and Leif didn't read minds. S'all good, right? Right?

"I've lost count of my sins," Bluefur drawled instead, tone dry as a drought. "But it certainly helped pass the time."

Did he just make a joke? To a FogClanner? Maybe the world was ending.

Or maybe it was funny that a PineClanner had infiltrated FogClan, so to speak. Brave, or simply stubborn? He wondered, looking at Frostpaw was his brows raised.

His heart clenched at Crowpaw's tone, and Bluefur suddenly wished that the black tom's mentor was gone-- away from PineClan so he would never have to see that look on Crowpaw's face again. It was wrong to see that from the little one. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

"Escaping from your mentor, or escaping from your clanmates, Crowpaw?" It was a simple question, spoken in a surprisingly soft tone from Bluefur. The gravel of his accent was still there, but it was light and hardly a rough brush of words.

He was getting soft, wasn't he?

...Well, there goes the cannibal idea.

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Ashstorm never believed, in all her short life, that she would be as surprised as she was now.

Bluefur and Crowpaw talking to a FogClanner? Okay, for some reason Crowpaw and Bluefur were friends...goodness knew why...but was she dreaming, hearing a stupid, fluff-minded FogClanner say those words?

Count yourself lucky that you don't have to worry about your state of 'purity', counting your sins really is a dull past time."

She must talk to this odd creature. So she darted away from her freshly buried vole, padding along at a neat pace until she saw the strange trio. Her green eyes and gray ears both moved as she heard further words from her Clanmates.

The little PineClanner was loathe to make an awkward situation, but...her curiosity got the better of her. So she boldly stepped forward, and sat down as naturally as if she'd been there all along.

"Well, I hate to intrude, but miss Frostpaw here is simply so intriguing that I had to shove in with all the grace of a badger. Excuse my bluntness." said the warrior, rather bluntly herself.

Then she considered her Clanmates' words. Crowpaw's she couldn't say much to, especially as they seemed personal, but Bluefur's provided a topic of conversation. Huh. Maybe he wasn't such a nasty grump after all.

"Lost count of your sins, eh? I'm sure "StarClan" hasn't. Wait - they don't exist!"

She chuckled to herself, looking slyly at the little pale gray apprentice on the other side of the border. Surely this would test if she was just talking, or if she really wasn't an idiot like the rest of her Clan. It would be fun either way: meeting a FogClanner who actually had sense, or ridiculing a mouse-brained idiot who thought dots of light had powers. Puh-lease.

This was going to be interesting.

[Rolo]

Frostpaw was somewhat stumped by Crowpaw's expression as he replyed to her. He looked as if he was desperately trying to look happy while sounding utterly miserable. She hadn't the faintest idea why. If she was, earth forbid, a medicine cat, she would be celebrating a day off.

"Ah, I understand. It should only take one cat to collect herbs anyway, if cats persist in using them to extend their lifetime. It's not a hard task." She mumbled obliviously. Her words weren't designed to hurt, she was just being honest. She had watched Finchpaw collect herbs before and it didn't seem like a job that needed multiple paws. In fact, in her mind, it was a task that didn't need doing at all.

Then Bluefur cut in, with his dry remarks about counting sins. She would have returned the joke with another had the tom not turned to the medicine cat apprentice and asked him why exactly he needed to escape. That was one thing that, despite her previous caution towards the blue tom, she found a desperate need to comment on.

"Does it matter why Crowpaw is escaping?" Frostpaw asked with a smile, "Every cat needs to once in a while. I do so more than most. I've been avoiding my mentor for the past 2 moons, for example." She grinned, "And I think I could survive sufficiently if I never saw my clanmates again. Give your poor medicine cat apprentice a break. If he's anything like Finchpaw, he spends so much time in his den that he's forgotten what the sun looks like and he now bleeds mousebile."

That was weird. Frostpaw could barely believe she'd come out with that. Originally, she'd just been defending a cat's right to get away from their clanmates, but along the way she'd actually stuck up for the Pineclan medicine cat. That certainly hadn't been her intention. The idea of doing so would have urked her if Finchpaw hadn't popped into her head a few seconds ago. Now, looking at Crowpaw all she could see was the ginger tom she'd formed a friendship with. As much as she hated it, it made it much easier to sympathise with the black tom. In fact, she was beginning to wonder if her words earlier hadn't been best advised. If Finchpaw has been musing about being useless, she should do something to make him feel less so, not more so.

"But anyway, Crowpaw." She found herself mumbling, "I'm sure your mentor will find use for you soon. He'll get you..." She scanned her mind for a job Finchpaw had mentioned, "making poultices or something."

That was the last time she ever tried to act like a normal, sympathetic cat. Not only did her attempt sound pathetic, she had sounded like a complete lunatic.

And then another cat appeared, gawping at her lack of faith, distracting her from her thoughts. Within an instant her confidence had returned and she felt at ease again. It really was quite amusing watching these cats fall from shock, all her clan knew of her nature and she rarely made much of ain impression

"Intriguing, am I?" She purred, grinning. "Yes, I have lost count of my sins and I promise that I can count. Fortunately, I'm one of the few in Fogclan that doesn't fall for Mistkit's nonsense. There's no point living your life within a set of self-imposed rules if they don't matter in the end anyway. You'll only get bored and miss out on watching those more close-minded cats make mouse-brains out of themselves."