SablexRain [Once upon a time...]

[Whiskers]

Sableheart was terribly lonely.

It was one of the downfalls of being an elder in the middle of the day. It was the busiest time for the cats of Pineclan, with most patrolling, hunting and training, with any stray warriors resting from previous work, or eating to keep up their strength. On nice days, Sableheart could venture out and eat with them, not so old that she couldn't move about (heck she could probably still outrun a few of this cats if she dared). But on these cold, winter days, her joints complained severely, as did the rest of her. Despite her thick fur, she had become quite skinny and got cold so easily that the other elders teased her of being a little too kittypet for her own good. And since she couldn't go out, she had to stay in with her fellow elders...who were asleep or occupied with their own business, which she did not want to intrude upon. Besides, as much as she loved her elders (yes, HER elders), there was somethin' about looking after her babies, all the warriors and apprentices, that made her life more lively.

Without that, she was bored and lonely and ready to pitch a fit and call in a warrior just to get some company.

Lucky for them, Gingerstar, out of all the cats in the whole world, decided to pop by for a visit.

Alright, not really, because she was carrying freshly caught fish (during leaf-bare? Lord, this she-cat was crazy) and she wasn't alone. Rainpaw came trucking along after her, carrying a king of a fish in his jaws that made her eyes bugger out of her skull. Both were somewhat wet, implying there had been some wrestlin' going on in the water. And she didn't just mean the fish.

She laughed a little, at herself and at them, grinning ear to ear. "My oh my, Gingerstar, you're spoiling us, dear! I thought I'd only eat fish in my dreams. Seems I was wrong."

Gingerstar dropped the fish all neatly into one pile, and looked up with a pleasant enough smile, but like always, it didn't seem genuine. This time, however, she looked particularily shaken, her fur on end and her tail swishing back and forth like a broom bent on tidying up the elder's den.

"Well, my apprentice here needed lessons on fishing. What better time than a cloudy, snowy day in leaf-bare?" Gingerstar glanced back at Rainpaw and then quickly continued,"Now if you'll excuse me, Sableheart, I have duties to attend to--"

"Not so fast, dear! Come now, rest your paws and come share a fish with me and Rainpaw-- that's right, honey, you're staying too," she winked at Rainpaw, "I've been sleeping all day and I'm itching for some good conversation. And I know Rainpaw here can provide us with some of that."

She pinned Gingerstar down with her eyes, and for a second there was a brief battle of wills. But Sableheart had years and years on Gingerstar, not to mention the experience of raising four very stubborn kits. Gingerstar finally flicked her ears, barely containing her annoyance, and then sat down.

"Lovely. Now Rainpaw, if you don't mind me asking...I would love to hear a little bit about how you came to us, darling. I do love a wonderful story with a meal."

[glowlynose]

Rainpaw padded into camp cold, wet, and lugging the hugest fish he'd ever seen clamped in his jaws. Was it worth it? Maybe. It had certainly been a fight to get the monster out of the water, and he felt that he deserved a bit of credit for his catch. Gingerstar had yelled at him, though, her usual scowl on her face. "I'm not stupid. Pin down the tail, you imbecile. Blah blah blah." But... there had been a point when she had smiled and laughed. her tail had curled up and it was almost like she'd forgotten he was there.

Rainpaw liked that Gingerstar the best. When she smiled it brought out a different cat, one who... he didn't even know. But it was almost like when she laughed, her walls dissolved. Gingerstar had a beautiful laugh, he had to give her that.

But wait, what was this? This was madness. She was his leader, for crying out loud, and when she wasn't laughing, she was a volcano. Or a nutcase. Or both. And besides, she hated him. It wasn't fair, but she did. He hoped that his fishing today had earned him at least a little bit of respect, like an atomic amount. Anything would be an improvement.

At least Sableheart seemed to be pleased with the company. Although she insisted that Gingerstar stayed, Rainpaw smiled. Maybe Gingerstar would just stay quiet and leave him be. Maybe she would be polite for once. He doubted it. She would probably try to jump in on his and Sableheart's conversation every other sentence. Ah well, he supposed that there was nothing he could really do.

"A story? About me? Alrighty. Might bore you half to sleep," he said with a shrug, grinning. Sableheart would know he was just joshing.

"A long time ago, I lost something that was very important to me. This was in a land very very far away from here. It was so far away that no clans lived there. Anyway, this thing wasn't really lost, I guess, it was stolen. So I set out to find it." Rainpaw chastised himself a bit. He used to be able to spin off magical yarns out of nowhere, and this was the best he could do?

It helped when the story wasn't about yourself.

"All I was able to do for a long time was walk. I walked even though I did not know where I was going. It was when I realized this that strange things started happening to me. One night as I was trying to fall asleep, I saw a star fall out of the sky and blink out of existence. It was the weirdest thing in the world. It left a streak behind it, and then it was just... gone, even the streak. Have you ever seen anything like that, Sableheart?"

"A few days later, I saw a giant bird flying in the sky. I swear its wings must have been as long as my body, maybe even longer. I chased after it for a while. I thought it was a sign that I was going towards the thing I was looking for, so after the bird was gone, I just kept going in the direction it had been flying. After another long time, I found this place.

"I never found what I was looking for, though. But that's okay. I don't need to find it anymore."

Rain wished that he'd been able to go into more detail, but Gingerstar was there, and the truth would have upset her somehow. He didn't know how, but he was sure that it would. Everything upset his mentor. Maybe someone would ask a question and he'd be able to answer it in a real story. It was hard to know where to begin with these things.

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[Whiskers]

Sableheart instantly let a smile take over her entire body, fluffing up her fur, standing her ears at alert and her eyes all atwinkle. Stories were the best entertainment, and if it was a true one, and if it let her get to know a cat better, why she was as happy as a kitty in a field of catnip. And she didn't know if Rain knew, but he had such a beautiful voice. It was deep, full of character-- it was a story-telling voice! Just listening to him gave her purrs up and down her throat. He would need to come back often and just talk to her, because she could get herself lost in his stories, she just knew it.

Her smile did not falter, only grew sweeter, and subdued, as the story stretched out before her as though it were her own memory. Ah, Sarah, Sableheart breathed the name in her head and let the little girl's cheerful, smiling face, eyes so bright and hopeful, fill her up. She had been the one Sableheart had 'lost,' the one Sableheart had wandered and wandered many miles for. She knew the misery of it all and her heart beat quickly for Rainpaw, as he, no doubt, relived some of his own loneliness. At least she had had Felix, and then later, kits.

But wait...

Was it possible that the 'something' Rainpaw had lost was his family? A mate? His kits? It would make sense, wouldn't it! When he came to Pineclan, he had found a makeshift replacement family, something that filled the hole that had eaten him up since his family had left or gotten stolen or whatever. Oh, the poor, poor, poor dear! And he was being stuck with Gingerstar, the least compassionate cat known to this whole earth, who certainly wasn't providing him with the care he needed. Rainpaw needed to feel welcomed and loved. Gingerstar was probably doing the opposite!

Then, Rainpaw got to the part of his story about the bird-- a sign he called it. And just as Sableheart's smile was widening, her mouth opening to tell Rainpaw that she knew what he was talkign about, Gingerstar suddenly and very loudly choked on her fish, the sounds of derisive laughter interrupting her meal.

Sableheart's eyebrows shot up. "Gingerstar, excuse me? Is something wrong?"

Gingerstar swallowed and shook her head, snorting a little, eyes trained on Rain. It was the look she wore when she was about to take down prey. "No. I just find it ironic that a bird led him here, of all places, to Pineclan."

Sableheart instantly wanted to get up and knock Gingerstar upside the head with the tail of her fish. Of course, skeptical, Starclan-hater Gingerstar would scoff at the idea of signs. She should have known. And normally, Sableheart settled for feeling sorry for Gingerstar and the other Pineclan cats, because for all their independence, strength and pride, without even just a little bit of faith, what was life good for?! But now, she was angry. Gingerstar was being disrespectful to Rainpaw's life story and perhaps she hated him (she had no idea why, if she was a nip younger, she'd be enjoying Rainpaw's company very much), but to laugh at him? Even if she couldn't contain it, she now owed Rain an apology.

"What I find ironic is that the leader of our clan is acting like a kitten, hungry for attention," Sableheart said to Gingerstar. "If I were your mother--"

"But you're not," Gingerstar said swiftly, getting up. "Thank you for the fish, Sableheart, but I've lost my appetite. Rain, when you're finished, clean up the elder's den and see if the medicine cats need any errands run. And if that somehow doesn't keep you tediously busy for the rest of the day, you can replace the bedding in all the dens as well." She exited quickly, leaving a cool atmosphere to the once cheery air.

"Oooooh, that cat!" Sableheart exclaimed, shaking her head. "Whatever are we going to do about her!"

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[glowlynose]

Despite his promise to himself that he was going to try to give Gingerstar a little more slack than he gave other cats before he lost his patience with them, Gingerstar made him mad. He'd actually managed to forget that she was there until she laughed at him. Oh, of course, she would pretend it was a fish bone or something caught in her throat. It wasn't that it hurt so much as he wasn't telling the story for her that made him mad. If he wasn't telling her the story, she shouldn't react. She was within hearing distance, but when he'd told stories to his children it had been different. Analucia had never reacted to a story meant for their kids. She understood that each story was a gift. It was more than just something entertaining to pass the time.

Why couldn't Gingerstar at least respect that? She didn't have to respect him or the content of the story so long as she respected the sanctity of the story. Stories were an escape from reality. She should at least be able to respect that. She seemed like she could use an escape most of the time.

Rainpaw sighed, staring after Gingerstar as she walked- or stalked- out of the den. He could never stay mad at her for very long. He pitied her if he thought about her too much, so it was hard to keep any negative feelings floating around in his mind. She was just so... so lonely and so miserable. Something tragic must have happened in her past, because she had some serious issues to work out. She blindly hated, never smiled, couldn't trust anybody, and appeared to suffer from a bit of egotism as well, which would be the least of her problems. What had happened to her? Had she lost something too? He bet she had. She hated to lose.

"Seems like there ain't nothing to be done, Sableheart. She is who she is." He sighed again, staring at his paws. He wished that there was something he could do to help her be happy, to not scowl at life and the world. He wondered if she could even appreciate the beauty of the world. Did she love it when the birds sang, or when the first breezes of spring blew past smelling of earth and life? What made Gingerstar happy other than winning and elevating her ego?

"Can you think of anything? Man, I wish she could be happy though. The world's too nice a place and life's too short to live it being a badger about everything."

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[Whiskers]

Sableheart watched Rainpaw carefully, looking for any signs of anger or insult on his face. She was very surprised when she found none at all. If she had been him, she would have given Gingerstar a firm talking to about the rules of respect. It was ridiculous that she would even need to give such a lesson though, since Gingerstar was supposed to be a full-grown cat. That was something that amazed Sableheart about the red she-cat. There were moments when she could look at the leader and see moons of weariness, age and experience. Then there were these times, when Gingerstar acted like she was still barely a warrior, stuck in the rebellious years of apprenticehood.

But what was more surprising to her was Rainpaw's reaction. He didn't explode, or grumble, or complain. He didn't utter obscenities. He sighed with the whole weight of the world, weary and sad, but without a hint of anger or hatred, which were the emotions she was expecting. She had been expecting, actually, to calm him down somehow, explain to the tom, "Oh Gingerstar, she's wonderful at times, you just have to catch her in the right mood, really. But that didn't happen. No, he showed Sableheart he was filled with empathy and compassion and worry, emotions only a cat of great maturity could hold inside themselves when faced with a cat like Gingerstar, who was the master at testing a cat's patience. So it seemed, despite Rainpaw's rank and his loner years, he was a warrior after all. Sableheart knew one when she saw one, and boy, Rainpaw was definitely worthy of Pineclan. Her eyes would have filled with tears if she had the ability, and she barely stopped herself for congratulating Rainpaw for having such a wonderful heart. This was it-- this was the cat that would change everything, Sableheart just felt it! And unlike all her silly clanmates, she believed in miracles and she had faith that Rainpaw had something special, and that special something touched Gingerstar deeply.

It's why Gingerstar hated him so much! He came in here, disturbed her world and reached down too deep for her liking...somehow! She wasn't quite sure how, but she saw it. The twinkle reentered her eyes as she appraised Rainpaw. She was definitely betting on him. He was going to cause quite a fuss.

"Oh honey, truer words have never been spoken," Sableheart purred. "But hope isn't lost, you hear me, sonny? Absolutely not. You know, I've been here since a little before Pineclan was made and never have I seen Gingerstar walk in here with that look about her. You've shaken her up, Rainpaw. And you gotta keep shaking, you hear me? You can't give up, or else she'll keep giving up, every day, until she dies."

She hesitated a little, words on her tongue she wasn't sure of saying. The topic of Gingerstar's son was taboo in Pineclan (it was an unspoken rule), but everyone knew of him in some way, shape or form. She had never met the little tyke, but had heard from Forestclanners that he died on the journey and that Gingerstar didn't care. Some say she killed him herself. Sableheart didn't believe a word of those stories. Losing a whole litter of kits (bless their hearts, wherever they may be) made her know Gingerstar's pain so personally that it still burned raw at times. She knew that whatever held Gingerstar prisoner had something to do with Sedgekit...so wasn't it only right that she tell Rainpaw? If he knew, he might understand...just a little more. They were all souls with loss after all, just trying to fill up their empty hearts.

But Sableheart couldn't bring herself to utter his name and tell Rainpaw about Gingerstar's son. It felt too personal, a secret that wasn't hers to just give away. So she stayed quiet.

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[glowlynose]

Rainpaw was lost in thought. What was Gingerstar's issue, anyway? What was it that was hurting her so much, that made her the way she was? She tried to hide it, but Rainpaw could see a similarity between them, one that she tried to put out of her mind or just didn't acknowledge. Why did she despise it so much? Personally, Rainpaw was glad that he was similar to at least someone in his new home. So what was her hole in her heart? He knew what his was. Analucia might not have been the love of his life, but she'd been his best friend, and he'd loved his children. Together they'd been a family.

His father had once told him that you never lose anything without something better on the way. Rainpaw hoped that would hold true here. Maybe he'd fall in love with somebody in the clan. It was a possibility. After all, he was the new kid on the block, the dark, mysterious tom with a past full of adventure. What she-cat in her right mind wouldn't be swept off her paws once he learned what made her tick? Ah, but did he want that?

No, he really didn't. He'd much rather, at this point, earn the respect of Gingerstar before he tossed himself into the nasty bog of relationships. He ought to become a warrior first, at the very least.

Why was he even thinking about relationships? At this point, anything he did would most likely be an attempt to replicate his past. He knew this. He also knew that no matter how hard he tried he wouldn't be able to bring back the past. So maybe it would be alright if he held himself accountable and stopped himself whenever he started to fall into old habits.

But first he had to figure out Gingerstar. That was his biggest priority at the moment. Yes, he had to figure out Gingerstar, earn her respect, show her that he could be trusted, and earn his place as a warrior. He blinked, shaking his head. Did that mean that Gingerstar was the most important thing to him right now?

"I ain't gonna give up, Sableheart. You can count on that. It's the worst thing in the world for anybody to give up, and especially her. She could be so much more as a leader, you know? If she was happy." He smiled at the memory of Gingerstar laughing. "She can be happy, you know. I saw it once. Was nice. Wish she'd be happy more."

So Rainpaw sat there, wondering what Gingerstar was giving up on and what made her give up on it, and what it had to do with him.

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[Whiskers]

Rain was definitely an intriguing fellow. There were many layers of him that Sableheart knew she couldn't see, but she wanted to, very much, catch a glimpse one day. But what she was seeing right now was shocking to Sableheart. It wasn't just that he had been worried about Gingerstar (which had been enough of a shock to her poor old heart), but now it seemed like...well...he liked it. In some odd way.

Now don't get her wrong, Sableheart loved Gingerstar. Gingerstar was like a daughter to Sableheart, in almost every sense of the word. Just like Rain here was slowly wiggling his way into becoming her honorary son. But she knew that not many people could stand the headstrong, stubborn, egotistical cat, let alone enjoy her company.

And it sounded like Rain had managed to make Gingerstar smile! And laugh! Was such a thing possible? Sableheart had only seen the likes of a devilish grin on Gingerstar's freckled muzzle before, never any honesty or happiness there. Rain must be an angel sent from heaven then, if he had managed to find Gingerstar's funny bone and tickle it. But that led to the greatest question of all: who exactly was Rain? Where had he really come from? How had he managed to get so honest and good so young? It had taken her moons and moons to get to a place of goodness, but Rainpaw was a cat that seemed to have found his right path. Or was she completely wrong about that?

"You saw our Gingerstar happy? Laughing and smiling? Lord, honey, tell me what you did,"Sableheart exclaimed excitedly. "Because the only time I've seen her happy is when she's ordering cats around her to go do this and go do that, or speaking to her closer she-cat friends. Or when she's talking to Old No-ears. But you! I would never have guessed it. When she first came in here and we told her our decision-- there was some serious panic in her eyes. But if you're winning her over-- and my, oh my, I wouldn't have guessed it!-- that's fantastic! You must have some secret, Rainpaw, because she hardly even talks to toms, let alone lets herself laugh with one. You simply must share."

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[glowlynose]

Sableheart kept giving Rainpaw weird looks, almost like she was sizing up his heart or something, and he wasn't sure if he liked it. He was sure she meant well and everything, but it still gave him the heebie-jeebies. Who was really a fan of being emotionally scrutinized? At least it seemed like she liked what she saw, whatever it was. She smiled, her face relaxed, and there was no distrust in her voice when she spoke. So whatever he was doing, he should keep doing it. What was he doing? He couldn't pick out anything. Was it possible that somebody finally appreciated him for who he was and not an idealistic or romantic fantasy?

Well, that sure felt nice. Yessir, it made his heart warm and his face all smiley-like.

"You saw our Gingerstar happy? Laughing and smiling?"

"Yes'm, I reckon I did," he rumbled, grinning. The experience was sure to be so rare that the memory of it would be treasured forever. Ah, yes, he'd be old and gray (or grayer than he already was), lounging about in the Elder's Den, and the apprentices would all flock to him to hear the story of the first time he saw the infamous Gingerstar smile. She was sure to go down in PineClan history with her scowls and grumpy countenance and hatred of toms, and he was going to be the only one in the history of forever that could make her smile. He'd be a veritable legend! Heck, maybe she'd even be in the Elder's den with him, and they'd get to bother each other every day! Maybe by that time they'd be friends. Sableheart said he was winning her over, didn't she? Just imagine... him, friends with his Freckles. And he and Freckles would be best friends to the very bitterest of ends.

Of course, he had to get to the point where she could stand him first. Don't go jumping the gun there Rainpaw. You've still got work to do.

"And, well, I reckon it was just 'cause I made an idiot out of myself. Got myself soaked in icy stream water and such. Laughing at me, y'know how she is." He paused, jumping back to an earlier statement Sableheart had made. So she saw it too? She saw how Freckles was scared of him? Maybe she knew why...

"So you see it too, huh? How she's scared of me for no reason? That why she hates me, 'cause she's scared? Daggum, all she'd have to do is gimme a chance. I ain't all that scary, norm'ly. Well, I can be when I wanna be. But I don't want her to be scared of me."

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[Whiskers]

Sableheart's brow furrowed as she remembered Gingerstar walking in the den at first, near soaked to the bone. At the time, she hadn't thought anything of it, as she had some delicious fish clamped in her jaw, which had set her stomach rumbling and roaring before she could even wonder what the leader was doing with fish in the middle of winter anyhow. But now that she thought about it, it was absurd! Not only was catching fish when it was as cold as it was insane, but the fact that Gingerstar was so wet meant that she had been IN the stream, wading around as she snapped at the fishies! Now she knew that Gingerstar had these times when she acted irrationally...throwing tantrums, blowing up at apprentices, sending warriors on ridiculous missions for her own enjoyment...but throwing herself into ice cold water? The cat was insane!

But putting that aside, Sableheart could nearly imagine what went on for Rainpaw and Gingerstar to get as wet as they were...splashing. She could see it. Taunting that turned into playflighting that turned into MESS everywhere. And what was amazing to the elder (was she just imagining it?) was that that behavior seemed like flirting to her. Was Rainpaw aware of this? Of course not! Heck, Gingerstar probably didn't think nothing of it either. Maybe her old beebee brain needed a nap.

First, she needed to clear one thing up though. Rainpaw was smart, alright, but sometimes he could be a bit daft.

"Darling, are you blind? Gingerstar isn't scared of you for NO reason, she's scared of you for plenty of GOOD reasons! And you gotta understand that if you're going to make any headway with her!" Sableheart exclaimed, chomping up the last bits of sweet fish. She licked her lips before continuing, eyes sparkling kindly, her voice dropping to a softer tone. "First of all, put yourself in Gingerstar's paws here. Imagine that you're expected to run and protect a whole family of cats-- mothers, brothers, sons and daughters here-- and you're used to chasing away intruders out to get your food, your land, or sometimes just your life for the fun of it. And then one day, some stranger comes in and you don't have the choice to chase him away. You don't trust him...you don't know anything about him. Of course she's scared of you, Rainpaw. You're everything that a leader looks out for."

"And then, just putting aside the whole leader aspect of it...look at yourself!" Sableheart paused again as if she was expecting Rainpaw to look up and down at his big frame and wide paws. "You need to pay more attention, hon. When Gingerstar's around toms, how does she act? Does she act hateful, do you feel? This isn't rhetorical, now, tell me what you think."

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[glowlynose]

Rainpaw supposed that Sableheart had a few valid points. He was, after all, a handsomely chiseled specimen of the male type, and quite large. His battle skills seemed pretty decent so far- he'd even surprised her once! Plus he was invading Gingerstar's little cloud of comfortable control, and as something she couldn't completely control despite frequent attempts to. If he was her, he'd be pretty annoyed and just a little bit freaked out by now.

But he wasn't her. It was almost offensive to him how she could not trust him, despite the logic of it. Those reasons were stupid when he applied them to himself and Gingerstar. Analucia had trusted him! She'd trusted him from the first moment she saw him! And those two were so, so similar. They were both strong, independent, bold, kind (he was sure that Freckles had it in her somewhere), and even beautiful. What's worse, they were both ginger. Analucia's fur has been much shorter than Gingerstar's, but the effect was still the same. So, with all those similarities, why, oh WHY couldn't Gingerstar trust him? It was maddening. It was maddening and captivating and intriguing all in the same package.

Sort of like Freckles. It would be enough for any normal tom to fall head over heels for her. Luckily for Rainpaw, he wasn't normal. Well, he thought he wasn't normal... because that couldn't happen. She was much too maddening to fall in love with. Love wasn't like that. It wasn't like he'd ever been in love, so he wouldn't be the one to ask, but he'd always known that love wasn't like... that. It wasn't maddening. She was beautiful, of course, and he loved to see her smile, but it wasn't like he was drooling all over her paws. She'd just call him stupid and tell him to fix his mouth before she saw him again.

"I'd hate it if some random cat walked into my bubble and disrupted everything I'd gotten used to, I guess. We must be kinda similar in some regards, I think. Don't think she realizes it's hard for me too, though." Rainpaw sighed. "I mean, imagine being the stranger, just searching for a place in the world since yours was destroyed. I can see her view but that don't make it right for me."

Rainpaw had to think back to the last time Gingerstar had done anything around any tom other than himself. She didn't seem to like to associate with them, generally. She-cats were preferred company. But he couldn't remember her acting any differently around other toms in the clan. Maybe it wasn't just him that she hated? "Well, she sure don't seem to like guys very much. Always tries to ignore 'em or brush 'em off like they ain't important. And she seems scared of 'em, especially me. She tries to hide it but it don't work very well. I can see it in her eyes."

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