Speckledfur

[ritsuko]

Name ~ Speckledfur

Gender ~ She-cat

Age ~ 20 moons

Rank ~ Warrior

Clan ~ StreamClan

Beliefs ~ She has no doubts on Starclan, but she believes there are more than just StarClan out there. Another world, like perhaps there was another clan of cats with ancestors that were nothing at all like Starclan, with different habits and different rank ideas for the clans Instead of moons and just choosing whether to be a medicine cat or a warrior, but been told what to do as a kit and going to do that for when the cat becomes a warrior? Perhaps not only Medicine cats could see and have dreams with Star Clan, but so could Warriors and the leader yet they just choose not to tell the cats? Like how they could see how they die and prepare for that day, teaching them not to fear it? Or how a cat sees dead cats that never went to live with StarClan due to evil deeds?

Parents ~ Snowpelt (deceased) Hawkeye (Deceased)

Siblings ~ Frostpelt (Streamclan)

Other Kin ~ NP

Mate ~ Undecided

Crush ~ Undecided

Kits ~ Not yet

Apprentice/Mentor ~ Not yet

Appearance ~ Speckledfur was named as a kit for her spotty markings and she was really fluffy.
When she was born and her fur wasn't so sleek, it finally shown it's appearance. It's fluffy form would ruffle out and when she was irritated or angry, she would of looked like a big puffball.
She is the smallest of her litter mates, but the oldest. Her fur has a creamy tone to it and darker spots and flecks. Speckledfur's eyes are a jade green. Her appearance is thin, but muscular. Due to her fur, it overlaps the muscles just making her look more like a puffball and creating the muscles to not look visible at all. Her left eye is slightly lighter than her right eye, with a scars going across the left side of her muzzle from a badger attack when she was just an apprentice.

Personality ~ She has both a kind, but sour side to her.
Her mother, being kind and her father with his occasional stroppy/angry side. Usually Speckledfur is in her own little world and usually Frostpelt has to get her out of it.
Around kits she instantly shows a motherly, caring attitude and tends to play with them, also some day hoping she too could be a mother. After witnessing a badger attack which coincidentally killed her mother when she was just apprenticed, Speckledfur gathered a phobia of badgers. Now the sight, scent or even word makes her freeze and lose focus.
She usually gets her sour attitude around other warriors or other clans, giving her a sarcastic edge to her voice. The kindness usually appears around her leader, medicine cat, friends, family or the cat she loves. She is quiet and shy at times, around new cats and giddy around the kits. Due to her being disabled of vision in her left eye, she still tries her best which causes more determination for her brain and helped her through her training in apprenticeship.
She wishes more than anything to become a good warrior with wisdom. When she retires to become an Elder, there she will tell the kits stories they would love to hear, have nice relaxing chats with the other elders and die a happy cat. If her destiny changed towards leadership, she would want to make the clan the best it has ever been, the strongest. She wouldn't want to be too power hungry, but she wouldn't want to be too weak either.

Skills ~ When it comes to hunting fish, Speckledfur has the ability to catch and carry, with her oily fur and small body she is more agile in water and her tail helps make her body balance while swimming. On land, when it comes to Squirrels or small mammals like Water Vole, she walk through the reeds silent and make sure the wind is blowing through the reeds. She'd listen to the water ripple when the vole or water snake or fish is swimming or walking through it and pounce through the reeds.
Against other cats, her main way of fighting is trickery. She'd lie flat on the ground, playing limp and when the cat goes to finish her off or lets its guards down she would tackle and pin. Hopefully causing the tables to turn and her chance of winning. Either that or hiding in the reeds and taking the advantage and leaping after the enemy. Her left eye just makes her more aware and a lot more on her paws at fear of losing the sight in her right eye and becoming completely blind. It had sharpened her senses just by a small fraction, but she was able to smell and hear things a lot more loudly than her brother.

History ~ Speckledfur was born alongside Frostpelt and Icekit, however, Icekit died a day after he was born leaving Speckledkit and Frostkit. Horrified that she had lost Icekit, Snowpelt started to show more affection for her remaining kits. When they were apprenticed, Snowpelt had never been a mentor so when a badger came and attacked her during a hunting patrol with Speckledpaw and Frostpaw, a badger had attacked her and killed her on the spot.
Frostpaw had fled, leaving Speckledpaw to watch in horror.
-
Before all this had happened,
Her mother and father weren't clan born, they were rogues who hated the threats that had lurked through the forest. Having to carry three kits was bad. Before she had got her warrior name, Speckledfur's mother was called Tori and her father was Flick.

They were caught hunting on Streamclan lands and were taken back to camp. Both Speckledfur and Frostfur were just 8 moons at the time. Pleading the leader to let them join.
Were they unaware that the clan was adjusting.
Only when they were on their first patrol with their mother, had they lost her.
-

Soon the Badger, after killing Snowfur, turned towards Speckledpaw, swiped her eye and blinded her left eye, Starclan must of been on Speckledpaw's side because the badger grabbed her mothers corpse and pulled her away into the undergrowth, leaving a long trail of blood.

Returning back to camp, Speckledpaw wasn't able to talk for a moon until Frostpaw got her out of her trance.
When they were made warriors, Speckledpaw became Speckledfur and Frostpaw became Frostpelt. Their father had died of greencough, leaving them to defend for themselves.
The attack from the badger had left her eye with a slight blurred vision.

[Rolo]

Hey there Congrats on getting your first bio up You have some very interesting ideas (I love the name and the badger phobia is very interesting!) and you've got a wonderful outline for a first cat. However, there are a few things that need some clarification and elaboration for you to make this cat the best it can be Don't worry, virtually no one gets a first cat accepted here without making some modifications, and I promise it'll get easier.

Beliefs:
It's a nice solid set of beliefs but some of your wording makes what she believes slightly unclear. What do you mean by 'another world?'. Why does she believe dreams aren't exclusive to med cats/leaders?

Description:
Your current description has some very nice information, but most of it is more suited to being in History. In description, it's better to just give a very basic description of what colour she is, what fur length she has, what build (slim, muscular, fat?) she has, what eye colour, what size she is and things like that. I suggest moving all the bits on naming and kithood into your history instead

Personality:
What you've got of her personality so far is very good. However, at the moment it only tells us a little bit about how she acts. You say she has a kind and a sour side to her, how so? Why is she kind, why is she sometimes sour? As well as this, you need to tell us how she acts. Is she a quiet cat? Is she friendly? Is she caring, loyal to her clan? More so, what are her aspirations and dreams? Tell us this and she'll be a more well-rounded cat

Skills:
Tell us about her hunting skills on land and her fighting skills.

History:
You've got a good history here, however we've got a problem in that the clans only started having kits 12 moons ago, so if you want her to be clan born you need to make her younger. If not, you need to have her born outside the clan (either as a rogue or a kittypet) who later found the clans (read up on the clan timeline if you want more information.

Also, you mention in here something about her being 'blinded' by a badger. Are you saying that Speckledfur is blind, either in both or either eye? If this is the case, it needs to be mentioned in the rest of the bio, particularly description and personality/skills (how does her blindness effect her mental state and capabilities). Be aware that if you make her completely blind, she will have to be an elder instead as a cat cannot hunt/fight if they are completely blind. If you don't intend to make her blind at all, you need to remove mention of damage to her eyes because all scratches to eyes would cause permanent blindness.


I'm sorry if this seems like a lot of work. It'll all be worth it in the end If you need any further help, I'm completely at your service.

[Rolo]

This is much better Your cat is definitely more rounded now and the right information is in the right sections.

For future bios, be careful to read your sentences and make sure they make complete grammatical sense Also, future Histories should be written chronologically (as in from birth to the current day, with no going back and forth).

That said, I'd be happy to accept this bio after it's had it's mandatory second check by another member of staff :3

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[Pyro]

Looks good to me~ As Rolo said, in future bios be sure to be mindful of grammar. You should also try to keep her appearance confined to what she looks like currently for better clarity. c:

This was good for a first bio. <3
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