To Wonder at the Ways of Life

[Cloud of Diamonds]

It was a curious thing...perhaps she imagined it, but the medicine cat seemed to sense more emotion in him than he had revealed even during their earlier fights. It almost a longing...for Frostpaw's happiness? Somehow that didn't seem to completely fit...but she wouldn't waste any more time pondering over it when she needed to get her brain in gear. It was simply one more enigma to be reviewed later if she so felt inclined.

"Indeed...I am merely thinking aloud here and this is purely hypothetical, but it almost seems like the simplest solution would be for her to join PineClan...that would not be easy or take a short time, though, even if she were to agree to it, so we will not bring it up to her for now..."

But then he said something totally unrelated and kind of annoying.

Why did she care? Wasn't it dead obvious? She cared because he wanted her to care. Or seemed to. At least, that was one of the reasons.

It was also because, of course, it was an interesting challenge and she was determined to have a paw in solving it. For if she did, after all, it would be very satisfying to have solved such a precarious enigma as they were dealing with. She could be renowned for her cleverness.

She didn't have much feeling for Frostpaw herself...it wasn't that she disliked the pale gray she-cat particularly, but then she WAS disliked by Frostpaw, for unknown and probably unfair reasons. So, frankly, the calico thought she should be thanked for taking an interest at all.

So, a gold-colored eyebrow raised, she mewed,

"Don't you want me to care? What does it matter why? We just need to focus on how to solve her problem.

Oh...why I'm caring now? Because you explained the situation, of course. Even if I feel neutral towards Frostpaw and her fate, the idea of any cat suffering like that is not good. So, correct it I must."

She held her head up nobly, or so she thought, and her tail twitched in satisfaction.

[Whiskers]

Pineclan. Finchpaw had known that it would have been mentioned at one point. It was such an unattainable goal to Finchpaw himself, something he had been thinking about, wondering about. Of course his mind always swung back around to his brother and his father and to Frostpaw. He couldn't leave his home. He couldn't leave his clan! Like it or not, he had a duty to Fogclan, being the future medicine cat. And so all his thoughts of Pineclan remained just thoughts.

And for Frostpaw? He didn't actually know her opinion of them. Probably thinks they're more sensible then Fogclan, he thought. But he also knew that she was still here in Fogclan for a reason.

"Suggesting she goes to Pineclan is a lazy solution. She shouldn't have to leave here-- the clan where she was raised, the clan that she is familiar with. And," he added with a little more hostilely, "it's giving up on her."

And hah! Brightnose, and her explanation of her sudden interest... it wasn't true. Finchpaw had no evidence for his opinion, but he was near certain he was right. For one, if she was neutral to Frostpaw and her plight, then she wouldn't care about Frostpaw or her plight. It was that simple. Therefore she didn't actually care, she didn't really feel for Frostpaw. Finchpaw saw none of that emotion in Brightnose. And he wasn't expecting it either; his mentor had proved earlier that she was not one for empathy.

Whatever her motives, he suspected they were selfish. Brightnose could want to earn Frostpaw's approval. She could be trying to win his trust. Or... or she was doing it because she wanted to fix the problem, like he had originally thought.

"And it does matter...it matters a lot. At least... it does to me." There was a heavy blanket of fatigue settling on his shoulders now. Would this conversation never end? It was exhausting, to talk about Frostpaw like this. He didn't like it... he hated it. He felt like he was speaking behind her back, felt like he was breaking some unsaid promise, like he was invading her privacy. And he also felt like bits of him were draining, as he gave more and more and more away. But Brightnose still had him trapped. She would keep him here until she got tired as well. Maybe he could get her angry again...and she'd leave. Or force him out.

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[Cloud of Diamonds]

It was now impossible to stop a look of disdain and a small bit of pleading from appearing on her face. They were getting nowhere and if they weren't careful something would happen again.

Why was he being so hostile and difficult? Why? It was getting harder to put up with. Finchpaw should try listening to himself sometime, turning down idea after idea and see how he liked it.

Breathe, the calico thought. Do your best and if you do you can't be blamed. Still, the amount of power her emotions had, yet again, was infuriating.

However, a skeptical eyebrow was raised. She wasn't quite following what her apprentice was saying. Lazy? Hardly. It was no small thing to switch from one Clan to another. And wouldn;t Frostpaw want to leave the place that had been nothing but torment and hate for her? After, she herself had longed at one point to escape her familiar but hated kittypet nest.

A few of the medicine cat's teeth were exposed when the phrase "giving up on her" was spoken. Insolent mouse-brain. Who did he think she was? And what had he been doing all this time? HE hadn't decided anything by himself, so who was he telling her she was lazy?

All this curious emotionality...it seemed her suspicion that she was his best friend was gaining proof.

"It matters to you a lot...you must be a caring friend, if one slightly lacking in the inventive ideas department. But then, it is a complex situation."

This was said lightly, not really intended to hurt or encourage. It was merely a statement.

She realized it had grown late, and thought with a small jolt that their discussion must have been a long one.

With a small yawn, the calico spoke once more.

"Well, I think that's all we have to say to each other for now. No doubt we'll speak of this more tomorrow. Thank you, Finchpaw."

She slowly padded to her den at the back of the medicine bush, and laid down on the pile of feathers and moss to sleep.