my heart is blue|the sky is grey [Blue&Adder]

[Pyro]

It was getting a little stuffy in camp...Adderfang decided it was best he take a break from it, lest he kill someone he wasn't supposed to. And when better to do that then in the morning, when it would be assumed he was going that extra mile for the clan by going hunting before he was asked?

Mornings were always...peaceful. Not that Adderfang really cared. There was no peace anymore. No real peace. He wondered if there had ever been peace, or if it had all been a dream. His time with Sonne had certainly felt like a dream...But if it had been a dream, Sonne wouldn't be real. And he hated to think that the Sun to his Sky hadn't been real. Then what had he lived for? No. There hadn't been peace. But there had been Sonne. With her, the lack of peace had been bearable. Now that she was gone...where was his buffer zone to the violence? Where was that bungee cord that pulled him from the edge?

He inhaled, taking in the scents of the meaningless place that stored his broken soul. There was dew. There was wood. There was prey. He smiled as the scent of squirrel drifted to him. That would be suitable. Dropping into a crouch he searched for it with his eyes now, finding it soon enough. He crept forward, springing when the creature had the sense to look behind it. Adderfang tore into the squirrel, shredding it. It felt so good, so wonderful to sink his claws into something. It was blissful to let the rage take over, to see the fox, to see the clan cats...and then it was done. The mangled body was hardly suitable to take back to camp. He stared at it, eyes dull.

It just wasn't the same.

[Slug]

Bluefur had been... okay after his talk with Crowpaw. But those... feelings were returning. The pain. The loneliness. The grief and the rage. And ever since Crowpaw had been so busy... and Crowpaw's mother seem pretty determined to keep him away from... his friend? His companion?

No. Crowpaw was no one to him. Not right now.

Perhaps he was just being mousebrained again, but he knew that the little medicine cat was too good to be true. He was falling back into his old habits. He was picking fights with his clanmates. He was too far into his grief to really pull himself out of the hole he dug himself.

But he appreciated Crowpaw's... love. His care. But Bluefur couldn't let it continue. He didn't deserve it, no matter what the little one said. He had done so much wrong... he was a monster.

The warrior choked out a bitter laugh, padding closely along the border between FogClan and PineClan.

A monster. That was fitting for him. Where was his justice, now? Where was that rightness? Gone, that's what. In fact...

He never had any in the first place. Just revenge. Just anger and hate and... loneliness. His father wasn't even his father. Just a substitute. Just a fraud and a traitor. How dare that piece of foxd--

The warrior shook himself, screwing his eyes shut from the images of Leif's battered and torn body. No. That wasn't right. His father-- Leif loved him. He loved him, even if he wasn't his son. He loved him and raised him better than any tom could have ever had their own.

And Bluefur loved Crowpaw like his own son, despite the lack of blood relation. Otterfur-- that fool. How could he see his son... like that? How could he act so ignorant? Crowpaw was a blessing all on his own. A beacon in the darkness that the world was.

...And yet even the sun had to set. His light was disappearing from him.

He had never felt more alone.

But he should be use to it. After all, he had always been alone. Yes, he had had Leif. But where had his real father been? Had he abandoned him? Yes. Of course he had. Just as Leif had. Why hadn't Leif fought back? Why had he left him? And Crowpaw. He was so busy with the others.

He was meant to be forgotten, wasn't he? To be unloved. To be alone...

How could he have thought that he could be in PineClan? Of all the foolish things he had done, that must have been it: joining PineClan. He was only delaying his Fate-- his end. Maybe then he could be... happy.

No. Then Leif would be waiting for him... in the afterlife. He couldn't face Leif now. Not after everything he had done.

With a sigh, Bluefur raised his head skyward, ears swiveling back against his head as his tail dragged against the ground.

"Are you watching me, Leif?" He murmured, closing his eyes as a ray of sun hit his face.

No, he couldn't be. But it was a nice thought.

Then the scent of FogClan hit the roof of his mouth, and he hissed, eyes snapping open.

There.

A tom of gray was standing over... a squirrel? A rabbit? It was hard to tell. But he knew one thing for sure.

The FogClanner was far too close to the border for his liking.

"You shouldn't waste valuable prey, FogClanner..."

[Pyro]

Adderfang glanced at the PineClanner from the corner of his eye, forcing back the smile that threatened to break out on his muzzle. A 'starclan-approved' scratching-post. A 'righteous kill'. Something to bring back to Miststar for a reward. He could even say the PineClanner had taken the prey...But. It was a bit early to be killing cats.

...Or was it?

"You shouldn't waste valuable prey, FogClanner..."

Yeah, maybe it wasn't.

He smirked, flicking the prey with a careless paw. "You shouldn't tell strangers what to do. They might kill you for it, PineClanner."

Eat you too. The little thought replaced Adderfang's devil-may-care look with sadness as he remembered the events of his kithood. Cats had tried to keep the gang from eating others...Tried to tell them what was right and what was wrong...They never came back. They disappeared. He and Sonne might have disappeared if it hadn't been for pure luck...And their was the memory of Sonne again, thrusting him further into the dark emotional pit he was sure to be calling home soon...not that he didn't already stay there plenty.

[Slug]

Bluefur raised a brow at the not-too-subtle threat, feeling more amused than annoyed, though the strange, warmth of humor left him as fast as it came, making room for the irritation.

Too much room, because he felt it raise his hackles, felt his blood pounding in his ears, and for a moment, the thought of actually losing his temper and attacking the FogClanner crossed his mind.

Then a flower, small and yellow, caught his attention, bright and cheery as it waved at him in the soft breeze.

Crowpaw...

"Good luck with that," Bluefur finally drawled, an edge of coldness in his tone as a sneer curled his lips back, revealing yellowed fangs.

The daisy waved at him again, and his sneer smoothed out into a light frown, gaze held on the small plant before wandering back to the FogClanner.

Sometimes he wondered why he even tried. Crowpaw was moving further away from Bluefur, his apprentice duties leaving the black tom with no time for himself, let alone the fluffy blue cannibal.

A dark look crossed the warrior's features, and he dragged his claws slowly across the ground, tearing the daisy from it's roots.

So much for happiness.

[Pyro]

A growl rose in Aspenheart's throat at Bluefur's retort. His claws flashed in an out, piercing the ground before him. How easily his claws could do the same to the PineClanner. How easy it would be just to let his rage take over, do the dirty work for him. He could let Miststar's 'enemies' feel the pain he should have caused his own enemies back in his old town. His eyes glanced up at the sky. He had a feeling Sonne wouldn't approve of that. She'd probably tell him that they hadn't done anything to deserve such harshness. She probably would have opposed Miststar's every decision when it came to sinners. Sonne was like that. Quick to defend. His paws drew his eyes again. With a sigh he retracted his claws, keeping them sheathed this time. Even when she was gone he still strove to please her. Still strove to keep her happy...Well, he supposed it was her memories that would be happy.

"Do you want something?" he snapped at Bluefur after a moment. "Or are you normally this bright an sunshiney when you meet someone across the border?" He could almost feel Sonne's paw smacking him in the head after the last remark. She never did like it when he got sarcastic.

Adderfang turned his head slowly facing Bluefur part way and looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. A slightly apologetic look entered his face. "Well, what I mean to say is..." he turned all the way around. "Exactly that. But nicer. Or however you clan cats talk to each other. I don't know." he said gruffly.

[Slug]

Bluefur snarled at the FogClanner, guttural and dragged out. There was anger there, but there was an edge of shame that Bluefur didn't try to hide. Crowpaw would have been so disappointed with him-- with his actions and hostility toward a complete stranger.

"It's fine," Bluefur grouched, shoulder muscles twitching once in agitation. "I shouldn't have... antagonized you." Oh, great Stars, how Bluefur wanted to rip his own throat out at that. He was not nice. He did not admit when he was wrong. He was Bluefur and kindness did not apply to him in particular.

But it would have made Crowpaw feel better, if he was here. It would have made him happy to know his "friend" was feeling better. But Crowpaw wasn't here, was he?

Crowpaw was never here.

[Pyro]

Sonne, you better fricking me up there. Because I'm being civil for you. Adderfang thought angrily with a harsh glance at the sky. He was sorely tempted to attack Bluefur, if only to get rid of the pure, unadulterated awkwardness of the entire situation. They were both obviously one false move from getting into an all out brawl. The thought of what his mate would say to him if she were alive and with him was the only thing keeping Adderfang back...but he was curious as to what was holding the Pineclanner in check.

Were they taught differently in PineClan? Were they taught to control themselves against all cats, even their apparent 'enemies', FogClan? Or did he know loss too?

The border was tantalizingly close and for an instant Adderfang was truck by a desire to know what it was like in PineClan, the infamous clan of nonbelievers. He could only imagine what it would be like to be away from pestering devoutees and Miststar-cronies. "Is it different in PineClan?" he asked abruptly. "Are you supposed to kill believers orrr what?" Almost as soon as he said it he realized he didn't want to know. Not because he was afraid it might be something horrible, but because he was losing interest. All he was really doing was prolonging the awkward situation. He shrugged to show his indifference. "Not that I care or anything...but I get the sense I'm supposed to be attacking you right now for your beliefs or whatever and a little confirmation that that's the way it goes would be nice."

I mean...are we gonna fight or what?"

ooc: This post is so weird. Adderfang is so weird. D<