Post by Pyro on Aug 20, 2010 19:46:01 GMT -5
Rough Draft Number Two. Comments welcomed~
Home. A sanctuary. Soft, well worn couches beckoning for someone to collapse upon them in tired relief. White carpeting, so clean it was almost sheer, plush beneath shoeless feet. Here was safety. Here was certainty. Here was that sickeningly sweet trap of being cared for your whole life, the treacherous pitfall of wanting to stay and never journey past safe boundaries. Here was the dwelling of Elizabeth Cooper, adopted child of her smotheringly loving family. It was into this trap of comfort that she walked every day of the dwindling school year.
Through the glass door she strode, her baggy tan cargo pants swishing with her every movement. She let the door slam behind her. No one was home to hear. No one was home to chastise her. To the kitchen she went next, dropping off her messenger bag outside its entrance. Elizabeth walked carefully around the room to avoid knocking over any delicate glassware. When she finally stopped her timid walk she was at the bread basket. Oh how she would miss the smell of fresh bread when she finally left…But opportunity cost. And the reward would be much greater.
She looked to the island in the center of the kitchen. Someone had come home before her and left, but not before setting the mail on the table. The teenager sifted through the pile, tossing aside anything that did not concern her-bills, retirement reminders, all things for her adopted parents-until she came to the letter she had been waiting for for over a month: the answer to her application to join the Beastkin division of the CIA. If it said yes she would go for training as soon as she graduated from high school in just one more year. There she would train not only to be one of a small child’s dreams, a secret agent, but also a Shape-Shifter. If it said no…Well, then the only one who would be surprised was her. The girl examined the envelope. It hadn’t been tampered with, so her nosy adopted parents hadn’t decided to take a peek. That, or they hadn’t seen it. But once she opened it, only a glance was needed to dash aside hope and bring in disappointment. She hadn’t been accepted. The writing was formal, but most government letters were…And the formal writing could not soften the blow she felt in her chest as she read the words of her rejection.
“…that we regret to inform you that further examination of your person has not revealed the Potential required tojoin our esteemed organization…”
No Potential? She hadn’t even met them and yet they were already condemning her to failure. Her thoughts flickered to her parents. Were they rich enough to stop her in her tracks on her quest to acquire a job they heavily disapproved of? Or was it something more? Did they think that as she was merely a teenager-and a female at that-she didn’t have to resolve to go through all the tests and pass them? She sighed then ripped off a chunk of her bread. It was more a move of frustration than a continuation of her snack. She had lost her appetite. Elizabeth glanced downward. Crumbs fell to the floor and on her obscure blue paint designed t-shirt. It was a mess she would not clean. If the Coopers had fixed the application process, then creating a small smudge on their otherwise clean home was the least she could do to repay them.
What had she done wrong? She had filled out the application appropriately, speaking formally and respectfully. She had included numerous reasons for why she should be hired, even cited incidents that showed her determination and perseverance. Maybe she just wasn’t what they were looking for. Had she sounded too rash? Shape-shifting was dangerous at best and required concentration and when one was first starting out, careful planning as well. Perhaps they wanted someone who would think more before acting…But thinking wasted precious time. Didn’t they understand that sometimes you needed to act without hesitation? ‘Of course, I guess it would help if I didn’t act without thinking all the time…’ she mused.
Oh well. She knew she had to become a shape-shifter. No one would dare stop her from following her Will, everyone would respect her then. No one would dare say she cheated her way through life if they knew she could rip their throat out as some powerful beast.
Elizabeth went to her room, her thoughts swirling around in her head. She could do it without the help of the agency. She could become a shape-shifter all on her own. If she could do that, then they would have to hire her. After all, it would prove she had enough Potential. And then she’d be free to travel the world, putting a stop to forces against her country and proving everyone wrong about her. The good life hadn’t made her a brainless richie. It had given her rebellious determination and they would see. They would all see…
With a start, the girl opened her eyes. She had only meant to take a short nap before continuing on with her planning. She could tell it was night-everything was dark and dim-and that meant she’d have to sneak out to…Well, she wasn’t sure why she would be sneaking out. The library would be closed and even if she could break in it probably wouldn’t have any information about shape-shifting beyond definitions. She didn’t need the what, she needed the how. But where to find the how? Maybe a rebellious walk on the town would provide the answer. However, as she got up she heard a crinkling like dry leaves crunching beneath a heavy weight. She shifted her body around. More crinkling and a dry scratching she could feel through her shirt. The girl looked around and nearly smacked herself for her stupidity. It was dark. She couldn’t see. What good would looking around do? She felt the ground beneath her. Ground. Leaves. Not her bed. ‘Where the hell am I?’ She started to panic. She wasn’t in her room. She wasn’t even in her house. Though she couldn’t see anything in the pitch blackness, the area felt open. Was she outside? That would certainly explain the leaves.
A light bobbed toward her and she scrambled forward. It was probably a flashlight, which meant it would be held by a person, which meant she could learn here she was and get back home, hopefully before she was missed. She doubted the last, though. She was going to be toast when she got home.
The light was closer now and she could vaguely make out a shadowy form. She called out a greeting which quickly grew to a scream. The shadowy figure wasn’t a rescuer. It wasn’t even human. It was a crow, blacker than the darkness that surrounded her with eight eyes as red as blood. The devilish bird flew at her, its raucous cawing blocking out all sound. Elizabeth scrambled to her feet and tried to run, but she was soon felled by a tree. At least she knew she was in a forest now. She frantically scrambled backward, feeling for any fallen sticks she could use to fight off the giant crow, but all she found were leaves. The best reared back its ugly head like a snake about to strike before croaking with surprise as something slammed into its back. The light she had seen? This was unreal. It had to be a dream. But before she could pinch herself to release her mind from what could only be a nightmare, a branch, loosed by the struggles of the two creatures, hit her head with a solid thunk, sending her spinning into a different kind of darkness.
Once more Elizabeth found herself waking up, this time with a headache, and this time with closed eyes. She could still feel hard ground. Not her bed. Not the safety of a house that she for once wanted to find herself in more than anything else in the world. ‘Maybe if I pretend I’m there, I’ll wake up for real.’
“Not likely.”
She jumped to her feet with shock at the sudden voice. Not a good idea. Her world span and pain sparked through her head.
“That…was nearly as bad an idea as your previous. You have a head injury. You shouldn’t be getting up so soon.”
The girl clutched at her head, expecting to feel the sticky warmth of blood matting. Instead she found a patch of bandages. No. Cobwebs? No. Bandages? She whirled around. Where was she? A forest? No. The vision shifted. A city?
“I like the forest better.”
“What is the hell is going…on…here…” She screamed again. She couldn’t help it. She was facing a coyote. A talking coyote. This was unreal. This had to be a dream. The coyote laid back its ears…no…’it’ had to be a ‘he’. Its voice was male.
“Could you not scream? It hurt my ears even more than Fear’s incessant cawing.”
“Y-You…are not real.’
“…That doesn’t really answer my request…but okay.” He said cheerfully. “However, you should know I’m as real as you are.”
“No.”
“Uhm…yes?”
“No. Animals do not freaking talk. This is not real. You are not real.”
“But I can and I am.”
“No.”
“No…this situation calls for an affirmative. The coyote can talk. The coyote is real. You’re injured aren’t you? That doesn’t happen in dreams.”
“It could.”
“You’d wake up.”
“Not necessarily.” This was so…unreal. That was the only word she could find to describe what was happening. She was in a city arguing with a coyote.
“Could you change it back to the forest? Cities feel dirty.”
“I would if I could…” If the coyote was by some crazy chance, real…’Then it probably would be best to concur with all its demands so as to avoid a rather nasty end.’
“Please. I don’t have to eat.”
“Are you a mind reader?” Well it could already talk. How far was mind-reading?
“Sort of.”
‘Oh of course the stinking coyote can read my mind.’
He looked a bit hurt at that thought. “You know I’ve been nothing but nice to you…”
“Well if you’re really nice then tell me where we are.” The girl snapped.
“I was getting to that. I suppose you could call this experience a dream-“
“Ha. I was right.”
“-with the exception that you cannot leave.”
“What?!”
“Er…you cannot leave?”
Great. Just great. How the hell had this day gone from a rejection letter from the Beastkin division of government shape shifters to being trapped in some crazy, messed up world. One that couldn’t decide whether it was a city or a forest, where coyotes could talk…Not to mention where demon crows attacked you for no reason and weird balls of light saved you…
“Why. Exactly. Can’t I leave?”
“Well, because essentially, you’re always here. You can’t really leave a place where you perpetually are. That would be silly. I mean, I suppose you could die…or maybe go insane…no, no. Pretty sure if you went insane this place would still exist. It’d just be in disarray.”
Okay. That told her nothing at all. Except that she really couldn’t leave.
“And what exactly is ‘this place’?”
The coyote looked at her like she had three heads. Or maybe like she was just plain stupid. It was hard to read the animalistic face.
“Well you’re in your subconscious, of course.”
“You’re joking right? I think I can live with talking animals, but there’s no way this is my subconscious. You can’t go there.”
“Well, you’re here, so I guess you can. I don’t really know why though. Are you searching for your true self? A sort of journey of self-discovery?” He questioned.
“No. Absolutely not. The only thing I’m searching for is a way to get home.”
“You are home.”
“No I’m not I’m in this…this…whacky-coo-coo world.”
“Your body is at home. But your mind is…in your mind. If that makes sense.”
“No. It doesn’t.”
The creature sighed. Clearly the girl had some stubbornness issues. He glanced at her face. Maybe it was denial.
“I’ll prove it. Make this city a forest again.”
“I haven’t the slightest idea how.”
“Just…imagine it.”
“Imagining is for little kids.”
“You were all for imagining yourself out of here a few minutes ago,” he said, cocking an eyebrow.
“That was panic and desperation. Now I’m less panicked.”
“…And yet still desperate, so imagine away, girlie.”
Elizabeth flashed the canine an icy glare. “Who are you calling ‘girlie’?”
“You, of course.”
“Well, that’s not my name.”
“And neither is my name ‘coyote’, ‘that dog-creature’, or any other thing you might try to say. It is Rawiri. Which you will call me. And I will call-“ A throaty cawing interrupted Rawiri, and they both looked up as a shadow fell upon them. The crow was back and circling them like a hawk about to dive. Elizabeth edged nearer to Rawiri. The coyote had fangs and was the closest thing to protection she had. Well, that is, if he was even in the mood to help her. He could just as well save himself.
“You might really want to make this a forest again. Fear can’t see us as well with trees to block its view.” That wasn’t completely true, but the coyote was more at home in a woodland setting than a city, and if it came to a fight he wanted it to be on familiar ground.
“Fear? That’s what that…that thing is?”
Before he could answer, the crow dived, folding its wings to its sides and aiming its lethal beak toward the ground. Toward them. Elizabeth didn’t worry about how he was going to answer. She shut her eyes and thought as hard as she could about a peaceful little forest. However, the thought of what could be Fear itself diving down to kill her only made her think of, of course, what she supposed was their first encounter. That sharp beak, those vicious claws, those probing red eyes…Which turned her happy little forest scene to the dim and blackness of the forest where she had been attacked the first time.
The scene shifted to accommodate the setting her mind was filled with. There was a thunderous flapping and painful shrieks as Fear tried to breach the heavy canopy. Elizabeth stared fearfully as its beak attempted to tear through the branches. Both coyote and girl were forced to jump back as the crow’s struggles brought down limb after limb from the trees. The change wasn’t going to work. It was going to get through. Its head was already emerging from the dense overhead, reaching with its beak to stab the girl. The branches were falling thicker now as it made way for its body to come through. But just as it seemed it was going to succeed, it gave a terrible cry as its flailing caused one of its eyes to be stabbed deep and painfully by a falling stick. Elizabeth sighed in relief as the great bird extricated itself from the canopy and flew clumsily off. She looked around. She could…see. Fear had brought down enough branches for light to pour into the small section of forest, and the area, at least where she was standing, was filled with a firefly-esque light. She glanced down to see that the source of the light was the coyote.
Wait. So he had been the ball of light that had saved her. That certainly explained why she woke up with him near her. He must have stuck around after the attack to protect her. A prick of guilt stabbed her. She hadn’t been very grateful…But then, she hadn’t known at the time that he was the one who had saved her. ‘That’s a poor excuse for being rude…’ the little thought made her feel even worse.
“Please don’t feel so bad, it’s okay, really.”
“You can read my emotions, too?” She said half-heartedly. It was becoming clear to her that she really was trapped inside her mind.
“We are in your subconscious. Your emotions are as good as beacons to their respective creatures. And I really don’t want to deal with Guilt. He is beyond a nuisance.”
“My guilt…is a he?”
“Oh sure. And Happiness and Confidence are she’s, Anger is a he…and so on and so forth”
“My emotions…have genders.”
“Yes.”
“This place just gets weirder and weirder.”
“Just remember it’s your mind. Speaking of which, having you here isn’t such a good idea. It puts things on edge and Fear on the prowl more than usual.”
“Why does he want to kill me?”
“I suspect because that’s just what Fear does. It smothers other emotions, takes them over. You, being the literal bearer of all these emotions must seem like the prize of a lifetime.”
“That’s just great. So I’m not going to get to be a shape-shifter, I’m trapped here, some stupid emotion wants to kill me just because it can…This is probably the worst day of my life.”
Rawiri’s ears perked and he looked upon her with interest. “You want to be a shape-shifter?”
“Oh, you know my thoughts and emotions, but you don’t know that?”
He frowned. “I’m not infallible. And goals take a little longer to reach everybody than thoughts and emotions.”
“Everybody? What do you mean everybody?”
“Your emotions.”
“So that thing knows what I’m thinking?”
“Oh no. Fear’s nature is to stop thought and create panic. It doesn’t bother itself with checking to make sure that’s the effect it’s having. It just trusts to years of being successful.”
“I guess that’s some good news.”
“It is. Now, I think you should meet everybody. I’m sure they’d love to see you.”
“Who?”
“Emotions. You. Here.”
“Ah.”
She watched curiously as the coyote scuffled in the dirt a bit and muttered a few indiscernible words. Animals began to fill the clearing, a rabbit bouncing about merrily, a camel with a sad, drooping face, a bear with wickedly glinting eyes, and many more. They crowded around the girl, pushing, sniffing, and she stayed rigid, her eyes wide with, what else, but fear. This wasn’t natural. Wild animals didn’t come this close unless they were sick or trying to kill you, and some of the animals that had gathered looked very capable of the latter. Especially the bear. It opened its heavy mouth, white fangs sparking, to speak.
“She should not be ‘ere. She puts our ‘ole world in danger with ‘er presence. She puts Fear in a frenzy.” His voice was deep and rumbling, full of the tension of anger.
Another voice spoke up, this one bold and brass. “Oh shut-up Anger, you’re almost as bad as Doubt. We should look upon this as a good thing. How many minds get to see their host, their creator?” Elizabeth turned to edge closer to the supportive voice but stayed where she was when she saw it was a cougar.
“She’s afraid of us. This isn’t good at all. We should just call Fear now and spare ourselves the tension of waiting. It’ll come again soon enough. Her fear calls to it. We’re all doomed anyway…” The camel shook his head, his face drooping even more.
“Doomed, yes, yes why didn’t we see it before?”
“You’re all a bunch of pussies. We’ll just fight back!”
“All my fault, all my fault, I could have stopped her…”
“Shut up, Guilt.” The cougar said, exasperated.
“Shut up yourself, Confidence.” Another animal, this one a heron, piped.
“Who are you telling to shut up, Initiative?”
“Everybody quiet!” Rawiri’s voice wrung out clear amidst the arguing. “She’s here, we aren’t necessarily doomed, so there’s no reason to argue about this. We just need to find a way to get her back.”
“It would help if we knew why she’s here.”
They all turned to look at Elizabeth and the girl took a step back from the prying eyes. What could she tell them? She didn’t know why she was here.
“I uhm…I just want to get home. Home, home. Not this whole body home, mind here thing.”
Confidence stalked closer, her face friendly. “Well why did you come here in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to…” Elizabeth said uncertainly.
“Did something happen that might have caused a need to search within yourself?”
“She did mention something about shape-shifting.” All eyes turned to the coyote again. “Perhaps to become one she needs to find her form within her mind. And to do that, she of course needs to come here. To her subconscious.”
“Alright then, how are we going to do this?”
“As quickly as possible?” Confidence offered.
Anger growled, a deep sound that rumbled in his throat and shook Elizabeth to her core. “I think she should do it. She’s the one who wants it.”
The heron shook his head. “But if she does it alone she could die. And if she dies, we all go bye-bye.”
“Okay then, where is it.?” Elizabeth asked. “Where’s my form?”
Again the heron, whom Elizabeth assumed was her Initiative, spoke. “Fear has it. He must by now. He has to know that’s what she’s here for, so of course he’ll take it. Then she’ll come to him.”
Elizabeth shivered at the thought of confronting Fear. Here, that was the equivalent of going to face death. One slash of those claws or one stab of that beak and she’d be gone. Poof. Dead. The thought was not the least bit comforting.
“S-So we have to find Fear?” Suddenly this whole shape-shifter thing was looking to be a bad idea.
“We have to find Fear.”
“You want me…to go…to the creature that wants to kill me?”
“Well not alone, of course,” Rawiri assured her. “We’ll be there to help.”
Anger stomped forward. “The hell we will. She went and got herself in here, she can get ‘erself out just fine. And get ‘er form while she’s at it too. Alone. I ain’t ‘elpin’.”
“B-but that’s insane! I can’t go and face it alone. It’ll kill me. I’m not some huge creature with…with teeth and claws!” She flailed her skinny, weak arms for emphasis. There was no way she could do this alone…she might not even be able to do this at all. “You know what, just forget about it. If I go, it’ll stop brothering you guys right? Just help me get home, and that’ll be the end of it.”
“The end?” Rawiri shook his head. “That won’t be the end. It took your form because it wants. To. Kill. You. Elizabeth, do you really think he’ll just let you go? Even if you don’t feel like accomplishing your life’s dream anymore, you have to face it. If not, Fear’ll just come after you. It’s what it is, it’s what it does. It is its very nature to want to rule your mind. Running from it only makes Fear stronger. And it makes him stronger because that’s the coward’s way out. It lives on that kind of thing.”
Confidence stepped forward, her tail twitching with excitement. “So we get to go beat his ass?”
“No. No, no, no, no.” The surrounding emotions wilted a bit beneath the force of her no’s. “I’m leaving this place. I’m not running in fear…I’m running…in reason, that’s it. I’m running because it’s the sane thing to do.”
“Oh, there now, see? She’s just going to abandon us to pick up the pieces. Leave us to battle Fear alone. Why, us, why me? All my fault…all her fault…” Guilt would have rambled on, but several pointed glares shut him up.
Elizabeth held up her hands defensively. “You said my presence here angered Fear. So, obviously the best thing to do is to just leave.”
“Fine.” The girl turned to see the coyote shrugging. “Leave then. But don’t expect us to help if it follows you out.”
“If it…follows…me? It can do that?”
“Sure. There’s lots of gateways for Fear to use. Fear is fear.”
“You’re lying.”
“You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re running because you’re sane. Don’t even try to kid yourself. You’re afraid.”
“Well, you know, it was once said that the only thing to fear is Fear itself…and well…that’s Fear itself.”
“You’ve got a lot to gain from defeating him.”
“I have a lot to lose.”
“What’s more important to yah,” Anger growled, “The positive or the negative? Yah could ‘ave safety and yer dream.”
“I could have death.”
“We could too.”
“Well then…” Maybe, just maybe, if they were there to help her, she could do it. Fear hadn’t managed to off her yet…Maybe her luck would continue long enough for her to beat it and take her form, whatever it was. “I’ll do it. But you guys have to help me, because apparently you have stakes in this too. And I’m not doing all the work myself.”
“We can’t really help you when you start to battle it…”Guilt said sadly.
“Lovely.”
“But we could give you something to battle Fear with.”
Confidence walked out of the clearing to rummage around in a nearby bush. Her powerful form seemed to shrink just the tiniest bit, allowing her to duck under the bushy plant. Sounds of small yelps and curses started to sound from it and she emerged again, ripping branches and leaves from the bush as she pursued what looked to be a stone. The cougar skidded to a stop as Anger slammed down on the stone, stopping its flight with a massive paw. The bear reached down to pick it up, scowling.
“I hate Imagination.”
“I’m sure Imagination hates you too.” Confidence said, taking the stone from him to give to Elizabeth. She looked expectantly at the girl, frowning slightly as she only stared at it.
“This…is…just a rock.”
“It is not just a rock. It is the Imagination Rock.”
“My imagination…is a rock. Just a plain old rock.”
“It’s travel friendly.”
“It looks useless.”
“Well…it’s not.”
“How exactly do I use it? I mean how can a rock help me kill Fear?”
“Isn’t there a saying about killing two birds with one stone?”
“Rawiri, Fear is one bird. A giant, deadly, demon bird, obviously from some hellhole in my mind.”
“Trust us, it’ll help.”
“I don’t think it will…uhm…Confidence, right?”
“Yes and yes. But it’ll only help if you believe it can help. If you believe, then it can be anything you want it to be.”
“So…how exactly do I use it?”
“I just told you: believe.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
The forest grew lighter and darker at the same time as Elizabeth and Rawiri walked, the trees thinning out until they came to a quiet, rocky plain. The girl glanced around nervously, clutching the Imagination stone, hoping it would give her some comfort. She felt a little better holding it. At the very least, if it didn’t work, she could try bashing Fear’s head in with it.
“Maybe we should go back.” The dead and charred trees that dotted the plain were the only signs that life had ever touched the place. How could Fear be here? Surely they would have seen such a big bird by now. After all, where was there to hide?
“I’m positive this is the right way.”
“That’s not what I meant…” She scanned the horizon. “Why is everything dead here?”
“Because Fear wishes it so? Because its mere presence snuffs out all hope of life? Who can say.”
“So this whole…bringing the fight to Fear thing…isn’t it sort of like going into the lion’s den? Bleeding?”
“I suppose you could say that…but you can’t turn back now. I suspect it already knows we’re here. If we try to run…then he’ll catch us at our backs. In any case, you do want you form, don’t you?”
“Yes…”
“Well then buck-up and just keep looking forward. And remember, I’ll be right there with you.”
“Not to fight it.”
“I’ll help you to fight Fear, but it has to be you that delivers the final blow.”
As though the mere mentioning of the possibility defeating Fear enraged it, a nearby tree began to tremble. Rawiri and Elizabeth jumped backwards as it fell with a crash, dissolving into a pit of oozing tar.
“What just-“
Elizabeth fell silent as the tar began rise, bubbling and squelching, its mud-like mass twisting as though it were trying to take on a new form. Slowly and gradually it did, wispy shadows replacing black tar until the intimidating shape of Fear stood before the girl and coyote, laughing with raspy caws.
Elizabeth fell silent as the tar began rise, bubbling and squelching, its mud-like mass twisting as though it were trying to take on a new form. Slowly and gradually it did, wispy shadows replacing black tar until the intimidating shape of Fear stood before the girl and coyote, laughing with raspy caws.
“How niccce of you to joooinn me in my humble abooode…” Fear’s voice was soft and sinister, like a snake sliding over rocks, and vaguely male. “You esssscaped me onccce, but you won’t agaaain.”
The girl backed up a bit, bumping into Rawiri. The coyote was standing firm, his hackles up and lips pulled back in a defiant snarl. The thought of him, smaller even than she was next to Fear, holding his ground, emboldened her. She clutched the imagination rock tightly in her hand. If Confidence was right, it would help her. She glanced down at it. ‘If I believe it’s a weapon…then it will be.’ She glanced at Fear and back to the rock. ‘But what kind of weapon do you fight a thing like that with?’
Unfortunately for her, Fear wasn’t about to wait for her to figure that little bit out in her thoughts. He rose into the air, flapping his massive wings. His form seemed to block out the sky as he flew higher and higher, only to tip down and dive at the girl and coyote with all the speed of a bullet train. Rawiri knocked Elizabeth to the side and Fear’s claws and beak raked the ground where they had been in cold fury. He gazed at them like the owl that has missed the mouse, his seven eyes glinting with an eerie light. Elizabeth noted with grim pleasure that his eighth eye, which had been hit by the branch, was now only an oozing pit on the side of Fear’s face.
“The rock, Elizabeth, use the rock!” Rawiri yelled as he cannoned into Fear while the demon-bird was preparing to take off again. The crow struggled to loose the canine from its back, flapping its wings furiously and trying to spin its head around to peck at its determined assailant.
‘Weapon, weapon, weapon… What can I use?’ She thought frantically. She watched helplessly as crow and coyote struggled, normal predator now the prey. ‘What can I do?’ And then it came to her.
“I can stop thinking and just do it already. S'what I'm best at, anyway.” The girl muttered to herself with a hard glare at the rock in her hand. “Alright Stone, I want a sword, and I want it now.” With a metallic shing, a blade sprung out of the rock as the stone changed itself to form a guard and hilt. Elizabeth almost dropped the weapon in her shock, but at the sight of the battle near her she held it tighter.
Elizabeth ran at the two animals, disregarding her own safety and swinging the sword wildly for Fear’s head. Of course, having never used a sword in her life, she found the weapon alien and its weight problematic. Her swing, meant for Fear’s neck, sliced a scaly leg instead. Still, it must have hurt for fear let out a piercing shriek and launched himself into the air with Rawiri still biting frantically at his back. The crow barrel-rolled, finally dislodging Rawiri, sending the coyote plummeting for the ground.
The girl dropped her sword and ran to catch him, smashing into the ground as the weight of his body hit her. They both yelped in pain at the impact, but had no time to check for injuries before Fear was on the offensive again. This time they had no time to dodge as the crow flew over them, raking their backs with its merciless claws as it passed over head to land in front of them.
“Eveennn your petty attemptsss at braverrrry arre nothiiing buut idle pinpricksss in my sssside. Give up…and Give into my cold emraccce….let me rule your mind, for I shall rule it well…and you’ll never have to think agaaaaiin. I will do it for yooouu and I will obtain that which you cannot ssseee, even nooow.”
“What is he talking about?” Elizabeth hissed as she got painfully up.
Rawiri shifted where he stood. “Something I should have told you.”
Elizabeth went cold. ‘Something you should have told me? What exactly haven’t you told me?’ She couldn’t even speak the words. She was fighting her Fear, and Rawiri hadn’t told her something. He didn’t get a chance to answer. Fear was on them in a second, tossing them aside like ragdolls.
“How foolissssh you are to sstand before me ssseparate and divided by fearrr.”
“I’m…I’m not afraid of you.” She scrambled up to start inching toward the sword. She needed to make it a weapon she could actually use.
“It isss not youu who isss afraaaid. And yeeet…it isss.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your other haaalf. Your baaalaaance. He isss afraaaid of what you will dooo if you leaarrn the truuuth. Or perhapsss it is that you do not trust yourself enough to knooow. Your fooorrm, did you knooww-“
Rawiri jumped for Fear, slamming into his neck and snapping at it like a crocodile. Fear started to take off again to dislodge the coyote, but this time, Rawiri fell off of his own accord, leaving Fear to rise into the air alone. As he rose, presumably to dive, Elizabeth closed the distance between her and the sword and grabbed it in shaking hands.
“What is he talking about?”
“There’s something I should tell you. But I want you to hear me out first.”
“Fear’s going to attack again in a second so I hope you can make it quick.”
The coyote nodded. “I’m you.”
Elizabeth glanced at him nervously. “This really isn’t a time for jokes. Be serious, what is Fear talking about?”
“Well, that, and….” He shifted nervously. “He doesn’t have your form.”
She dropped the sword. It fell with a clang to the hard ground and she whirled on the canine. ‘What did you say?’
“He doesn’t have your form. He can’t because I’m you…and that makes me your form.”
“Oh my god…you…you bastard! I’m risking my life and I don’t eve…oh my god.” She clutched at her head, the danger momentarily forgotten in place of her fury.
“Now wait, wait, you aid you’d hear me out-“
“That was before you said…said that.”
“Just listen.”
“Oh I cannot wait to hear what is going to be the most bullshit explanation in the history of bullshit explanations.”
“It wasn’t really up to me.”
She snorted. “Oh really? Then why are you telling me now?”
“Because you were going to find out anyway it seemed, so I thought it would be best if you heard it from me.”
“Why? Because you thought maybe I’d join Fear?”
“No- well, maybe-“
“Oh, you don’t trust me, but I’m supposed to trust you?” She threw her hands into the air. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? How do I know you’re not really working for Fear? How do I know you’re really my form?”
“Have I ever lied to you before?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Wrong question. Haven’t I saved you? Haven’t I fought with you against him? Why would I do that if I was working for him?”
“To build my trust.”
“Do you really think I’m working for him?”
Elizabeth stared hard at the coyote. Did she? He had lied to her. She was here, in danger, when she didn’t need to be, and he was the one who had taken her to it. That was a pretty hefty argument, to her, in favor of him being against her. But still, he had saved her before and he hadn’t been holding back in the battle. Of course, Fear didn’t seem any weaker for it.
“Why am I here? What am I really fighting for?”
“Your mind.”
“Not my form.” As she replied she realized he had never answered on of her questions. “Which apparently you are. How?”
Rawiri glanced up. Fear was finally diving. They didn’t have much time to talk. But there were some things that had to be said.
“I’ll explain a little better. We-I, lied to you because we weren’t sure if you would want to fight for your mind. You haven’t truly known it for all that long and we assumed that because of that you wouldn’t have any desire to stay and put your life on the line for it. So, we decided that we needed to give you a reason. You said you wanted to be a shape-shifter. So we said your form was taken by Fear. That seemed to be the thing that would motivate you the most to fight him.”
This time they were both ready for Fear’s attack. When he came in close they dodged aside and Elizabeth slashed at his back as he passed, grazing a wing. ‘I still need to change this.’ A gun. A gun would work. They were just cock, aim, and shoot, right? Of course she didn’t really know guns. Well, she knew there were shotguns and revolvers and pistols…but that was it. She didn’t know anything about types. Or even looks. So she focused on the gun she had often seen in westerns for the shoot-outs. The revolver it turned into felt cold in her hand. Deadly. Comforting in that she knew this was something she could use. Bullets would cut through Fear better than a sword propelled by her own weak power and skill.
“So you thought I’d run away?”
“Well, you almost did.”
“But I didn’t.”
“You didn’t after some manner of convincing…but yes. You didn’t. And, admittedly, you wouldn’t have stayed if you didn’t have some amount of resolve in you.”
“Or rashness.”
“That helps sometimes.”
“Sooo…you’re me?”
“The resemblance is stunning, yes, I know.”
“Aren’t I not supposed to meet myself? Shouldn’t some dimensional portal be opening up to consume all worlds?”
“You’re just meeting your subconscious self. The real you.”
“…I’m really a guy?”
Rawiri laughed. “It’s for keeping up the balance.”
“Riiiight.”
She wanted desperately to ask if her form was that of a coyote, but somehow she found herself not wanting to at the same time. She’d find out later. When she wasn’t fighting a giant crow.
Fear hopped towards them. Normally, Elizabeth would have found the bird’s way of walking humorous, but Fear made the comical movement seem menacing. She cocked the revolver. The sound of metal on metal rang through the eerily silent plain, seeming to reverberate off nonexistent walls. Fear hesitated for a second. Things were somehow different now. He felt as though something had changed…but what? He peered at the girl. She was different. Resolved. Head clear. The crow launched himself at the pair, expanding, engulfing all in blackness. He had to kill her now. Now or never.
‘Now or never.’ Elizabeth thought grimly.
There was a gunshot.
And then there was nothing.
Home. A sanctuary. Soft, well worn couches beckoning for someone to collapse upon them in tired relief. White carpeting, so clean it was almost sheer, plush beneath shoeless feet. Here was safety. Here was certainty. Here was that sickeningly sweet trap of being cared for your whole life, the treacherous pitfall of wanting to stay and never journey past safe boundaries. Here was the dwelling of Elizabeth Cooper, adopted child of her smotheringly loving family. It was into this trap of comfort that she walked every day of the dwindling school year.
Through the glass door she strode, her baggy tan cargo pants swishing with her every movement. She let the door slam behind her. No one was home to hear. No one was home to chastise her. To the kitchen she went next, dropping off her messenger bag outside its entrance. Elizabeth walked carefully around the room to avoid knocking over any delicate glassware. When she finally stopped her timid walk she was at the bread basket. Oh how she would miss the smell of fresh bread when she finally left…But opportunity cost. And the reward would be much greater.
She looked to the island in the center of the kitchen. Someone had come home before her and left, but not before setting the mail on the table. The teenager sifted through the pile, tossing aside anything that did not concern her-bills, retirement reminders, all things for her adopted parents-until she came to the letter she had been waiting for for over a month: the answer to her application to join the Beastkin division of the CIA. If it said yes she would go for training as soon as she graduated from high school in just one more year. There she would train not only to be one of a small child’s dreams, a secret agent, but also a Shape-Shifter. If it said no…Well, then the only one who would be surprised was her. The girl examined the envelope. It hadn’t been tampered with, so her nosy adopted parents hadn’t decided to take a peek. That, or they hadn’t seen it. But once she opened it, only a glance was needed to dash aside hope and bring in disappointment. She hadn’t been accepted. The writing was formal, but most government letters were…And the formal writing could not soften the blow she felt in her chest as she read the words of her rejection.
“…that we regret to inform you that further examination of your person has not revealed the Potential required tojoin our esteemed organization…”
No Potential? She hadn’t even met them and yet they were already condemning her to failure. Her thoughts flickered to her parents. Were they rich enough to stop her in her tracks on her quest to acquire a job they heavily disapproved of? Or was it something more? Did they think that as she was merely a teenager-and a female at that-she didn’t have to resolve to go through all the tests and pass them? She sighed then ripped off a chunk of her bread. It was more a move of frustration than a continuation of her snack. She had lost her appetite. Elizabeth glanced downward. Crumbs fell to the floor and on her obscure blue paint designed t-shirt. It was a mess she would not clean. If the Coopers had fixed the application process, then creating a small smudge on their otherwise clean home was the least she could do to repay them.
What had she done wrong? She had filled out the application appropriately, speaking formally and respectfully. She had included numerous reasons for why she should be hired, even cited incidents that showed her determination and perseverance. Maybe she just wasn’t what they were looking for. Had she sounded too rash? Shape-shifting was dangerous at best and required concentration and when one was first starting out, careful planning as well. Perhaps they wanted someone who would think more before acting…But thinking wasted precious time. Didn’t they understand that sometimes you needed to act without hesitation? ‘Of course, I guess it would help if I didn’t act without thinking all the time…’ she mused.
Oh well. She knew she had to become a shape-shifter. No one would dare stop her from following her Will, everyone would respect her then. No one would dare say she cheated her way through life if they knew she could rip their throat out as some powerful beast.
Elizabeth went to her room, her thoughts swirling around in her head. She could do it without the help of the agency. She could become a shape-shifter all on her own. If she could do that, then they would have to hire her. After all, it would prove she had enough Potential. And then she’d be free to travel the world, putting a stop to forces against her country and proving everyone wrong about her. The good life hadn’t made her a brainless richie. It had given her rebellious determination and they would see. They would all see…
With a start, the girl opened her eyes. She had only meant to take a short nap before continuing on with her planning. She could tell it was night-everything was dark and dim-and that meant she’d have to sneak out to…Well, she wasn’t sure why she would be sneaking out. The library would be closed and even if she could break in it probably wouldn’t have any information about shape-shifting beyond definitions. She didn’t need the what, she needed the how. But where to find the how? Maybe a rebellious walk on the town would provide the answer. However, as she got up she heard a crinkling like dry leaves crunching beneath a heavy weight. She shifted her body around. More crinkling and a dry scratching she could feel through her shirt. The girl looked around and nearly smacked herself for her stupidity. It was dark. She couldn’t see. What good would looking around do? She felt the ground beneath her. Ground. Leaves. Not her bed. ‘Where the hell am I?’ She started to panic. She wasn’t in her room. She wasn’t even in her house. Though she couldn’t see anything in the pitch blackness, the area felt open. Was she outside? That would certainly explain the leaves.
A light bobbed toward her and she scrambled forward. It was probably a flashlight, which meant it would be held by a person, which meant she could learn here she was and get back home, hopefully before she was missed. She doubted the last, though. She was going to be toast when she got home.
The light was closer now and she could vaguely make out a shadowy form. She called out a greeting which quickly grew to a scream. The shadowy figure wasn’t a rescuer. It wasn’t even human. It was a crow, blacker than the darkness that surrounded her with eight eyes as red as blood. The devilish bird flew at her, its raucous cawing blocking out all sound. Elizabeth scrambled to her feet and tried to run, but she was soon felled by a tree. At least she knew she was in a forest now. She frantically scrambled backward, feeling for any fallen sticks she could use to fight off the giant crow, but all she found were leaves. The best reared back its ugly head like a snake about to strike before croaking with surprise as something slammed into its back. The light she had seen? This was unreal. It had to be a dream. But before she could pinch herself to release her mind from what could only be a nightmare, a branch, loosed by the struggles of the two creatures, hit her head with a solid thunk, sending her spinning into a different kind of darkness.
Once more Elizabeth found herself waking up, this time with a headache, and this time with closed eyes. She could still feel hard ground. Not her bed. Not the safety of a house that she for once wanted to find herself in more than anything else in the world. ‘Maybe if I pretend I’m there, I’ll wake up for real.’
“Not likely.”
She jumped to her feet with shock at the sudden voice. Not a good idea. Her world span and pain sparked through her head.
“That…was nearly as bad an idea as your previous. You have a head injury. You shouldn’t be getting up so soon.”
The girl clutched at her head, expecting to feel the sticky warmth of blood matting. Instead she found a patch of bandages. No. Cobwebs? No. Bandages? She whirled around. Where was she? A forest? No. The vision shifted. A city?
“I like the forest better.”
“What is the hell is going…on…here…” She screamed again. She couldn’t help it. She was facing a coyote. A talking coyote. This was unreal. This had to be a dream. The coyote laid back its ears…no…’it’ had to be a ‘he’. Its voice was male.
“Could you not scream? It hurt my ears even more than Fear’s incessant cawing.”
“Y-You…are not real.’
“…That doesn’t really answer my request…but okay.” He said cheerfully. “However, you should know I’m as real as you are.”
“No.”
“Uhm…yes?”
“No. Animals do not freaking talk. This is not real. You are not real.”
“But I can and I am.”
“No.”
“No…this situation calls for an affirmative. The coyote can talk. The coyote is real. You’re injured aren’t you? That doesn’t happen in dreams.”
“It could.”
“You’d wake up.”
“Not necessarily.” This was so…unreal. That was the only word she could find to describe what was happening. She was in a city arguing with a coyote.
“Could you change it back to the forest? Cities feel dirty.”
“I would if I could…” If the coyote was by some crazy chance, real…’Then it probably would be best to concur with all its demands so as to avoid a rather nasty end.’
“Please. I don’t have to eat.”
“Are you a mind reader?” Well it could already talk. How far was mind-reading?
“Sort of.”
‘Oh of course the stinking coyote can read my mind.’
He looked a bit hurt at that thought. “You know I’ve been nothing but nice to you…”
“Well if you’re really nice then tell me where we are.” The girl snapped.
“I was getting to that. I suppose you could call this experience a dream-“
“Ha. I was right.”
“-with the exception that you cannot leave.”
“What?!”
“Er…you cannot leave?”
Great. Just great. How the hell had this day gone from a rejection letter from the Beastkin division of government shape shifters to being trapped in some crazy, messed up world. One that couldn’t decide whether it was a city or a forest, where coyotes could talk…Not to mention where demon crows attacked you for no reason and weird balls of light saved you…
“Why. Exactly. Can’t I leave?”
“Well, because essentially, you’re always here. You can’t really leave a place where you perpetually are. That would be silly. I mean, I suppose you could die…or maybe go insane…no, no. Pretty sure if you went insane this place would still exist. It’d just be in disarray.”
Okay. That told her nothing at all. Except that she really couldn’t leave.
“And what exactly is ‘this place’?”
The coyote looked at her like she had three heads. Or maybe like she was just plain stupid. It was hard to read the animalistic face.
“Well you’re in your subconscious, of course.”
“You’re joking right? I think I can live with talking animals, but there’s no way this is my subconscious. You can’t go there.”
“Well, you’re here, so I guess you can. I don’t really know why though. Are you searching for your true self? A sort of journey of self-discovery?” He questioned.
“No. Absolutely not. The only thing I’m searching for is a way to get home.”
“You are home.”
“No I’m not I’m in this…this…whacky-coo-coo world.”
“Your body is at home. But your mind is…in your mind. If that makes sense.”
“No. It doesn’t.”
The creature sighed. Clearly the girl had some stubbornness issues. He glanced at her face. Maybe it was denial.
“I’ll prove it. Make this city a forest again.”
“I haven’t the slightest idea how.”
“Just…imagine it.”
“Imagining is for little kids.”
“You were all for imagining yourself out of here a few minutes ago,” he said, cocking an eyebrow.
“That was panic and desperation. Now I’m less panicked.”
“…And yet still desperate, so imagine away, girlie.”
Elizabeth flashed the canine an icy glare. “Who are you calling ‘girlie’?”
“You, of course.”
“Well, that’s not my name.”
“And neither is my name ‘coyote’, ‘that dog-creature’, or any other thing you might try to say. It is Rawiri. Which you will call me. And I will call-“ A throaty cawing interrupted Rawiri, and they both looked up as a shadow fell upon them. The crow was back and circling them like a hawk about to dive. Elizabeth edged nearer to Rawiri. The coyote had fangs and was the closest thing to protection she had. Well, that is, if he was even in the mood to help her. He could just as well save himself.
“You might really want to make this a forest again. Fear can’t see us as well with trees to block its view.” That wasn’t completely true, but the coyote was more at home in a woodland setting than a city, and if it came to a fight he wanted it to be on familiar ground.
“Fear? That’s what that…that thing is?”
Before he could answer, the crow dived, folding its wings to its sides and aiming its lethal beak toward the ground. Toward them. Elizabeth didn’t worry about how he was going to answer. She shut her eyes and thought as hard as she could about a peaceful little forest. However, the thought of what could be Fear itself diving down to kill her only made her think of, of course, what she supposed was their first encounter. That sharp beak, those vicious claws, those probing red eyes…Which turned her happy little forest scene to the dim and blackness of the forest where she had been attacked the first time.
The scene shifted to accommodate the setting her mind was filled with. There was a thunderous flapping and painful shrieks as Fear tried to breach the heavy canopy. Elizabeth stared fearfully as its beak attempted to tear through the branches. Both coyote and girl were forced to jump back as the crow’s struggles brought down limb after limb from the trees. The change wasn’t going to work. It was going to get through. Its head was already emerging from the dense overhead, reaching with its beak to stab the girl. The branches were falling thicker now as it made way for its body to come through. But just as it seemed it was going to succeed, it gave a terrible cry as its flailing caused one of its eyes to be stabbed deep and painfully by a falling stick. Elizabeth sighed in relief as the great bird extricated itself from the canopy and flew clumsily off. She looked around. She could…see. Fear had brought down enough branches for light to pour into the small section of forest, and the area, at least where she was standing, was filled with a firefly-esque light. She glanced down to see that the source of the light was the coyote.
Wait. So he had been the ball of light that had saved her. That certainly explained why she woke up with him near her. He must have stuck around after the attack to protect her. A prick of guilt stabbed her. She hadn’t been very grateful…But then, she hadn’t known at the time that he was the one who had saved her. ‘That’s a poor excuse for being rude…’ the little thought made her feel even worse.
“Please don’t feel so bad, it’s okay, really.”
“You can read my emotions, too?” She said half-heartedly. It was becoming clear to her that she really was trapped inside her mind.
“We are in your subconscious. Your emotions are as good as beacons to their respective creatures. And I really don’t want to deal with Guilt. He is beyond a nuisance.”
“My guilt…is a he?”
“Oh sure. And Happiness and Confidence are she’s, Anger is a he…and so on and so forth”
“My emotions…have genders.”
“Yes.”
“This place just gets weirder and weirder.”
“Just remember it’s your mind. Speaking of which, having you here isn’t such a good idea. It puts things on edge and Fear on the prowl more than usual.”
“Why does he want to kill me?”
“I suspect because that’s just what Fear does. It smothers other emotions, takes them over. You, being the literal bearer of all these emotions must seem like the prize of a lifetime.”
“That’s just great. So I’m not going to get to be a shape-shifter, I’m trapped here, some stupid emotion wants to kill me just because it can…This is probably the worst day of my life.”
Rawiri’s ears perked and he looked upon her with interest. “You want to be a shape-shifter?”
“Oh, you know my thoughts and emotions, but you don’t know that?”
He frowned. “I’m not infallible. And goals take a little longer to reach everybody than thoughts and emotions.”
“Everybody? What do you mean everybody?”
“Your emotions.”
“So that thing knows what I’m thinking?”
“Oh no. Fear’s nature is to stop thought and create panic. It doesn’t bother itself with checking to make sure that’s the effect it’s having. It just trusts to years of being successful.”
“I guess that’s some good news.”
“It is. Now, I think you should meet everybody. I’m sure they’d love to see you.”
“Who?”
“Emotions. You. Here.”
“Ah.”
She watched curiously as the coyote scuffled in the dirt a bit and muttered a few indiscernible words. Animals began to fill the clearing, a rabbit bouncing about merrily, a camel with a sad, drooping face, a bear with wickedly glinting eyes, and many more. They crowded around the girl, pushing, sniffing, and she stayed rigid, her eyes wide with, what else, but fear. This wasn’t natural. Wild animals didn’t come this close unless they were sick or trying to kill you, and some of the animals that had gathered looked very capable of the latter. Especially the bear. It opened its heavy mouth, white fangs sparking, to speak.
“She should not be ‘ere. She puts our ‘ole world in danger with ‘er presence. She puts Fear in a frenzy.” His voice was deep and rumbling, full of the tension of anger.
Another voice spoke up, this one bold and brass. “Oh shut-up Anger, you’re almost as bad as Doubt. We should look upon this as a good thing. How many minds get to see their host, their creator?” Elizabeth turned to edge closer to the supportive voice but stayed where she was when she saw it was a cougar.
“She’s afraid of us. This isn’t good at all. We should just call Fear now and spare ourselves the tension of waiting. It’ll come again soon enough. Her fear calls to it. We’re all doomed anyway…” The camel shook his head, his face drooping even more.
“Doomed, yes, yes why didn’t we see it before?”
“You’re all a bunch of pussies. We’ll just fight back!”
“All my fault, all my fault, I could have stopped her…”
“Shut up, Guilt.” The cougar said, exasperated.
“Shut up yourself, Confidence.” Another animal, this one a heron, piped.
“Who are you telling to shut up, Initiative?”
“Everybody quiet!” Rawiri’s voice wrung out clear amidst the arguing. “She’s here, we aren’t necessarily doomed, so there’s no reason to argue about this. We just need to find a way to get her back.”
“It would help if we knew why she’s here.”
They all turned to look at Elizabeth and the girl took a step back from the prying eyes. What could she tell them? She didn’t know why she was here.
“I uhm…I just want to get home. Home, home. Not this whole body home, mind here thing.”
Confidence stalked closer, her face friendly. “Well why did you come here in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to…” Elizabeth said uncertainly.
“Did something happen that might have caused a need to search within yourself?”
“She did mention something about shape-shifting.” All eyes turned to the coyote again. “Perhaps to become one she needs to find her form within her mind. And to do that, she of course needs to come here. To her subconscious.”
“Alright then, how are we going to do this?”
“As quickly as possible?” Confidence offered.
Anger growled, a deep sound that rumbled in his throat and shook Elizabeth to her core. “I think she should do it. She’s the one who wants it.”
The heron shook his head. “But if she does it alone she could die. And if she dies, we all go bye-bye.”
“Okay then, where is it.?” Elizabeth asked. “Where’s my form?”
Again the heron, whom Elizabeth assumed was her Initiative, spoke. “Fear has it. He must by now. He has to know that’s what she’s here for, so of course he’ll take it. Then she’ll come to him.”
Elizabeth shivered at the thought of confronting Fear. Here, that was the equivalent of going to face death. One slash of those claws or one stab of that beak and she’d be gone. Poof. Dead. The thought was not the least bit comforting.
“S-So we have to find Fear?” Suddenly this whole shape-shifter thing was looking to be a bad idea.
“We have to find Fear.”
“You want me…to go…to the creature that wants to kill me?”
“Well not alone, of course,” Rawiri assured her. “We’ll be there to help.”
Anger stomped forward. “The hell we will. She went and got herself in here, she can get ‘erself out just fine. And get ‘er form while she’s at it too. Alone. I ain’t ‘elpin’.”
“B-but that’s insane! I can’t go and face it alone. It’ll kill me. I’m not some huge creature with…with teeth and claws!” She flailed her skinny, weak arms for emphasis. There was no way she could do this alone…she might not even be able to do this at all. “You know what, just forget about it. If I go, it’ll stop brothering you guys right? Just help me get home, and that’ll be the end of it.”
“The end?” Rawiri shook his head. “That won’t be the end. It took your form because it wants. To. Kill. You. Elizabeth, do you really think he’ll just let you go? Even if you don’t feel like accomplishing your life’s dream anymore, you have to face it. If not, Fear’ll just come after you. It’s what it is, it’s what it does. It is its very nature to want to rule your mind. Running from it only makes Fear stronger. And it makes him stronger because that’s the coward’s way out. It lives on that kind of thing.”
Confidence stepped forward, her tail twitching with excitement. “So we get to go beat his ass?”
“No. No, no, no, no.” The surrounding emotions wilted a bit beneath the force of her no’s. “I’m leaving this place. I’m not running in fear…I’m running…in reason, that’s it. I’m running because it’s the sane thing to do.”
“Oh, there now, see? She’s just going to abandon us to pick up the pieces. Leave us to battle Fear alone. Why, us, why me? All my fault…all her fault…” Guilt would have rambled on, but several pointed glares shut him up.
Elizabeth held up her hands defensively. “You said my presence here angered Fear. So, obviously the best thing to do is to just leave.”
“Fine.” The girl turned to see the coyote shrugging. “Leave then. But don’t expect us to help if it follows you out.”
“If it…follows…me? It can do that?”
“Sure. There’s lots of gateways for Fear to use. Fear is fear.”
“You’re lying.”
“You’re lying to yourself if you think you’re running because you’re sane. Don’t even try to kid yourself. You’re afraid.”
“Well, you know, it was once said that the only thing to fear is Fear itself…and well…that’s Fear itself.”
“You’ve got a lot to gain from defeating him.”
“I have a lot to lose.”
“What’s more important to yah,” Anger growled, “The positive or the negative? Yah could ‘ave safety and yer dream.”
“I could have death.”
“We could too.”
“Well then…” Maybe, just maybe, if they were there to help her, she could do it. Fear hadn’t managed to off her yet…Maybe her luck would continue long enough for her to beat it and take her form, whatever it was. “I’ll do it. But you guys have to help me, because apparently you have stakes in this too. And I’m not doing all the work myself.”
“We can’t really help you when you start to battle it…”Guilt said sadly.
“Lovely.”
“But we could give you something to battle Fear with.”
Confidence walked out of the clearing to rummage around in a nearby bush. Her powerful form seemed to shrink just the tiniest bit, allowing her to duck under the bushy plant. Sounds of small yelps and curses started to sound from it and she emerged again, ripping branches and leaves from the bush as she pursued what looked to be a stone. The cougar skidded to a stop as Anger slammed down on the stone, stopping its flight with a massive paw. The bear reached down to pick it up, scowling.
“I hate Imagination.”
“I’m sure Imagination hates you too.” Confidence said, taking the stone from him to give to Elizabeth. She looked expectantly at the girl, frowning slightly as she only stared at it.
“This…is…just a rock.”
“It is not just a rock. It is the Imagination Rock.”
“My imagination…is a rock. Just a plain old rock.”
“It’s travel friendly.”
“It looks useless.”
“Well…it’s not.”
“How exactly do I use it? I mean how can a rock help me kill Fear?”
“Isn’t there a saying about killing two birds with one stone?”
“Rawiri, Fear is one bird. A giant, deadly, demon bird, obviously from some hellhole in my mind.”
“Trust us, it’ll help.”
“I don’t think it will…uhm…Confidence, right?”
“Yes and yes. But it’ll only help if you believe it can help. If you believe, then it can be anything you want it to be.”
“So…how exactly do I use it?”
“I just told you: believe.”
“I’ll try to remember that.”
The forest grew lighter and darker at the same time as Elizabeth and Rawiri walked, the trees thinning out until they came to a quiet, rocky plain. The girl glanced around nervously, clutching the Imagination stone, hoping it would give her some comfort. She felt a little better holding it. At the very least, if it didn’t work, she could try bashing Fear’s head in with it.
“Maybe we should go back.” The dead and charred trees that dotted the plain were the only signs that life had ever touched the place. How could Fear be here? Surely they would have seen such a big bird by now. After all, where was there to hide?
“I’m positive this is the right way.”
“That’s not what I meant…” She scanned the horizon. “Why is everything dead here?”
“Because Fear wishes it so? Because its mere presence snuffs out all hope of life? Who can say.”
“So this whole…bringing the fight to Fear thing…isn’t it sort of like going into the lion’s den? Bleeding?”
“I suppose you could say that…but you can’t turn back now. I suspect it already knows we’re here. If we try to run…then he’ll catch us at our backs. In any case, you do want you form, don’t you?”
“Yes…”
“Well then buck-up and just keep looking forward. And remember, I’ll be right there with you.”
“Not to fight it.”
“I’ll help you to fight Fear, but it has to be you that delivers the final blow.”
As though the mere mentioning of the possibility defeating Fear enraged it, a nearby tree began to tremble. Rawiri and Elizabeth jumped backwards as it fell with a crash, dissolving into a pit of oozing tar.
“What just-“
Elizabeth fell silent as the tar began rise, bubbling and squelching, its mud-like mass twisting as though it were trying to take on a new form. Slowly and gradually it did, wispy shadows replacing black tar until the intimidating shape of Fear stood before the girl and coyote, laughing with raspy caws.
Elizabeth fell silent as the tar began rise, bubbling and squelching, its mud-like mass twisting as though it were trying to take on a new form. Slowly and gradually it did, wispy shadows replacing black tar until the intimidating shape of Fear stood before the girl and coyote, laughing with raspy caws.
“How niccce of you to joooinn me in my humble abooode…” Fear’s voice was soft and sinister, like a snake sliding over rocks, and vaguely male. “You esssscaped me onccce, but you won’t agaaain.”
The girl backed up a bit, bumping into Rawiri. The coyote was standing firm, his hackles up and lips pulled back in a defiant snarl. The thought of him, smaller even than she was next to Fear, holding his ground, emboldened her. She clutched the imagination rock tightly in her hand. If Confidence was right, it would help her. She glanced down at it. ‘If I believe it’s a weapon…then it will be.’ She glanced at Fear and back to the rock. ‘But what kind of weapon do you fight a thing like that with?’
Unfortunately for her, Fear wasn’t about to wait for her to figure that little bit out in her thoughts. He rose into the air, flapping his massive wings. His form seemed to block out the sky as he flew higher and higher, only to tip down and dive at the girl and coyote with all the speed of a bullet train. Rawiri knocked Elizabeth to the side and Fear’s claws and beak raked the ground where they had been in cold fury. He gazed at them like the owl that has missed the mouse, his seven eyes glinting with an eerie light. Elizabeth noted with grim pleasure that his eighth eye, which had been hit by the branch, was now only an oozing pit on the side of Fear’s face.
“The rock, Elizabeth, use the rock!” Rawiri yelled as he cannoned into Fear while the demon-bird was preparing to take off again. The crow struggled to loose the canine from its back, flapping its wings furiously and trying to spin its head around to peck at its determined assailant.
‘Weapon, weapon, weapon… What can I use?’ She thought frantically. She watched helplessly as crow and coyote struggled, normal predator now the prey. ‘What can I do?’ And then it came to her.
“I can stop thinking and just do it already. S'what I'm best at, anyway.” The girl muttered to herself with a hard glare at the rock in her hand. “Alright Stone, I want a sword, and I want it now.” With a metallic shing, a blade sprung out of the rock as the stone changed itself to form a guard and hilt. Elizabeth almost dropped the weapon in her shock, but at the sight of the battle near her she held it tighter.
Elizabeth ran at the two animals, disregarding her own safety and swinging the sword wildly for Fear’s head. Of course, having never used a sword in her life, she found the weapon alien and its weight problematic. Her swing, meant for Fear’s neck, sliced a scaly leg instead. Still, it must have hurt for fear let out a piercing shriek and launched himself into the air with Rawiri still biting frantically at his back. The crow barrel-rolled, finally dislodging Rawiri, sending the coyote plummeting for the ground.
The girl dropped her sword and ran to catch him, smashing into the ground as the weight of his body hit her. They both yelped in pain at the impact, but had no time to check for injuries before Fear was on the offensive again. This time they had no time to dodge as the crow flew over them, raking their backs with its merciless claws as it passed over head to land in front of them.
“Eveennn your petty attemptsss at braverrrry arre nothiiing buut idle pinpricksss in my sssside. Give up…and Give into my cold emraccce….let me rule your mind, for I shall rule it well…and you’ll never have to think agaaaaiin. I will do it for yooouu and I will obtain that which you cannot ssseee, even nooow.”
“What is he talking about?” Elizabeth hissed as she got painfully up.
Rawiri shifted where he stood. “Something I should have told you.”
Elizabeth went cold. ‘Something you should have told me? What exactly haven’t you told me?’ She couldn’t even speak the words. She was fighting her Fear, and Rawiri hadn’t told her something. He didn’t get a chance to answer. Fear was on them in a second, tossing them aside like ragdolls.
“How foolissssh you are to sstand before me ssseparate and divided by fearrr.”
“I’m…I’m not afraid of you.” She scrambled up to start inching toward the sword. She needed to make it a weapon she could actually use.
“It isss not youu who isss afraaaid. And yeeet…it isss.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your other haaalf. Your baaalaaance. He isss afraaaid of what you will dooo if you leaarrn the truuuth. Or perhapsss it is that you do not trust yourself enough to knooow. Your fooorrm, did you knooww-“
Rawiri jumped for Fear, slamming into his neck and snapping at it like a crocodile. Fear started to take off again to dislodge the coyote, but this time, Rawiri fell off of his own accord, leaving Fear to rise into the air alone. As he rose, presumably to dive, Elizabeth closed the distance between her and the sword and grabbed it in shaking hands.
“What is he talking about?”
“There’s something I should tell you. But I want you to hear me out first.”
“Fear’s going to attack again in a second so I hope you can make it quick.”
The coyote nodded. “I’m you.”
Elizabeth glanced at him nervously. “This really isn’t a time for jokes. Be serious, what is Fear talking about?”
“Well, that, and….” He shifted nervously. “He doesn’t have your form.”
She dropped the sword. It fell with a clang to the hard ground and she whirled on the canine. ‘What did you say?’
“He doesn’t have your form. He can’t because I’m you…and that makes me your form.”
“Oh my god…you…you bastard! I’m risking my life and I don’t eve…oh my god.” She clutched at her head, the danger momentarily forgotten in place of her fury.
“Now wait, wait, you aid you’d hear me out-“
“That was before you said…said that.”
“Just listen.”
“Oh I cannot wait to hear what is going to be the most bullshit explanation in the history of bullshit explanations.”
“It wasn’t really up to me.”
She snorted. “Oh really? Then why are you telling me now?”
“Because you were going to find out anyway it seemed, so I thought it would be best if you heard it from me.”
“Why? Because you thought maybe I’d join Fear?”
“No- well, maybe-“
“Oh, you don’t trust me, but I’m supposed to trust you?” She threw her hands into the air. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? How do I know you’re not really working for Fear? How do I know you’re really my form?”
“Have I ever lied to you before?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Wrong question. Haven’t I saved you? Haven’t I fought with you against him? Why would I do that if I was working for him?”
“To build my trust.”
“Do you really think I’m working for him?”
Elizabeth stared hard at the coyote. Did she? He had lied to her. She was here, in danger, when she didn’t need to be, and he was the one who had taken her to it. That was a pretty hefty argument, to her, in favor of him being against her. But still, he had saved her before and he hadn’t been holding back in the battle. Of course, Fear didn’t seem any weaker for it.
“Why am I here? What am I really fighting for?”
“Your mind.”
“Not my form.” As she replied she realized he had never answered on of her questions. “Which apparently you are. How?”
Rawiri glanced up. Fear was finally diving. They didn’t have much time to talk. But there were some things that had to be said.
“I’ll explain a little better. We-I, lied to you because we weren’t sure if you would want to fight for your mind. You haven’t truly known it for all that long and we assumed that because of that you wouldn’t have any desire to stay and put your life on the line for it. So, we decided that we needed to give you a reason. You said you wanted to be a shape-shifter. So we said your form was taken by Fear. That seemed to be the thing that would motivate you the most to fight him.”
This time they were both ready for Fear’s attack. When he came in close they dodged aside and Elizabeth slashed at his back as he passed, grazing a wing. ‘I still need to change this.’ A gun. A gun would work. They were just cock, aim, and shoot, right? Of course she didn’t really know guns. Well, she knew there were shotguns and revolvers and pistols…but that was it. She didn’t know anything about types. Or even looks. So she focused on the gun she had often seen in westerns for the shoot-outs. The revolver it turned into felt cold in her hand. Deadly. Comforting in that she knew this was something she could use. Bullets would cut through Fear better than a sword propelled by her own weak power and skill.
“So you thought I’d run away?”
“Well, you almost did.”
“But I didn’t.”
“You didn’t after some manner of convincing…but yes. You didn’t. And, admittedly, you wouldn’t have stayed if you didn’t have some amount of resolve in you.”
“Or rashness.”
“That helps sometimes.”
“Sooo…you’re me?”
“The resemblance is stunning, yes, I know.”
“Aren’t I not supposed to meet myself? Shouldn’t some dimensional portal be opening up to consume all worlds?”
“You’re just meeting your subconscious self. The real you.”
“…I’m really a guy?”
Rawiri laughed. “It’s for keeping up the balance.”
“Riiiight.”
She wanted desperately to ask if her form was that of a coyote, but somehow she found herself not wanting to at the same time. She’d find out later. When she wasn’t fighting a giant crow.
Fear hopped towards them. Normally, Elizabeth would have found the bird’s way of walking humorous, but Fear made the comical movement seem menacing. She cocked the revolver. The sound of metal on metal rang through the eerily silent plain, seeming to reverberate off nonexistent walls. Fear hesitated for a second. Things were somehow different now. He felt as though something had changed…but what? He peered at the girl. She was different. Resolved. Head clear. The crow launched himself at the pair, expanding, engulfing all in blackness. He had to kill her now. Now or never.
‘Now or never.’ Elizabeth thought grimly.
There was a gunshot.
And then there was nothing.
We have a cbox again and we're opening the place up as a closed, members only rp