Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2009 10:05:45 GMT -5
Post 'em hereee.
From John Dies at the End:
John said, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal for me to lift heavy objects. I’m sort of
used to it, if you know what I mean.”
I held up a hand to silence him. “John-“
“-of course I’m talking about my penis.”
I said to Amy, “Ignore him. His penis is just like everybody else’s.”
Amy said, “I was just gonna ask you if-“
“YOU’VE NEVER SEEN MY PENIS!” bellowed John. “I’d show it right now, to
everybody here. If we had time.”
I turned on him. “If we had time? What?”
“Because, well, if you want to look at my penis, you’d better have a whole
afternoon, buddy! You best have five or six hours to take it all in, lest its
majesty escape you!”
Before I could stop her, Amy said, “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“IT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF YOU COULD SEE IT,” shouted John, plainly agitated. “IT
WOULD BE MAKING LOOOOOONG SENSE, HONEY!”
That just cracks me up. <3
Fanboys
Linus: [Shatner has given them the access codes to Skywalker Ranch] How did you score all of this?
William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.
Eric: How about Jeri Ryan's panties?
Fanboys
Windows: Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five.
Hutch: Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie:
[as Cal and Joe assemble the Interositor]
Crow T. Robot: Science and Industry!
Tom Servo: See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM!
Crow T. Robot: Build your very own Atom Storage Box!
Mike: Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology!
Crow T. Robot: Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really, really works.
On the Explosm General Forums (by Tweek)
I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming, 'Mike, Mike!' And I go 'What? What's the matter?' She goes 'What's the matter with you?' I go 'There's nothing wrong, mom.'
She's all, 'Don't tell me that! You're on drugs!' I go, 'No mom, I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?' She goes, 'No! You're on drugs!' I go, 'Mom, I'm ok. I'm just thinking.' She says, 'No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!'
'Mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!'
And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!
Same forum, but different topic.
I go "AAAAAAAAAAAH! FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING FUCK! FUCKING HELL AAAH!" And have a little fit followed by foaming at the mouth and repeatedly shouting "Fucking help!"
I have quite advanced arachnophobia.
Same topic (YOU KNOW, THAT BIG ASS SPIDER ONE THAT MADE SOME OF US FREAK THE FUCK OUT. YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, SLUG. and me.)
I'd slam the door shut and say 'Fuck holy shit. What the fuck? Fuck. Shit. the fuck.'
And then I'd call the police or something and be like, 'There is giant fucking spider in my house, it's seriously giant. This needs to be on the news or some shit because I am going to shit my pants I need that thing out of here.'
From John Dies at the End:
John said, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal for me to lift heavy objects. I’m sort of
used to it, if you know what I mean.”
I held up a hand to silence him. “John-“
“-of course I’m talking about my penis.”
I said to Amy, “Ignore him. His penis is just like everybody else’s.”
Amy said, “I was just gonna ask you if-“
“YOU’VE NEVER SEEN MY PENIS!” bellowed John. “I’d show it right now, to
everybody here. If we had time.”
I turned on him. “If we had time? What?”
“Because, well, if you want to look at my penis, you’d better have a whole
afternoon, buddy! You best have five or six hours to take it all in, lest its
majesty escape you!”
Before I could stop her, Amy said, “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“IT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF YOU COULD SEE IT,” shouted John, plainly agitated. “IT
WOULD BE MAKING LOOOOOONG SENSE, HONEY!”
That just cracks me up. <3
Fanboys
Linus: [Shatner has given them the access codes to Skywalker Ranch] How did you score all of this?
William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.
Eric: How about Jeri Ryan's panties?
Fanboys
Windows: Stop humping. Please stop humping. Just high five.
Hutch: Oh, God. I'm Jabba the Hump.
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie:
[as Cal and Joe assemble the Interositor]
Crow T. Robot: Science and Industry!
Tom Servo: See big men sticking screw drivers into things - turning them - AND ADJUSTING THEM!
Crow T. Robot: Build your very own Atom Storage Box!
Mike: Bringing you state-of-the-art in soft-serve technology!
Crow T. Robot: Removes lids off bottles and jars of all sizes - and it really, really works.
On the Explosm General Forums (by Tweek)
I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming, 'Mike, Mike!' And I go 'What? What's the matter?' She goes 'What's the matter with you?' I go 'There's nothing wrong, mom.'
She's all, 'Don't tell me that! You're on drugs!' I go, 'No mom, I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?' She goes, 'No! You're on drugs!' I go, 'Mom, I'm ok. I'm just thinking.' She says, 'No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!'
'Mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!'
And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!
Same forum, but different topic.
I go "AAAAAAAAAAAH! FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING FUCK! FUCKING HELL AAAH!" And have a little fit followed by foaming at the mouth and repeatedly shouting "Fucking help!"
I have quite advanced arachnophobia.
Same topic (YOU KNOW, THAT BIG ASS SPIDER ONE THAT MADE SOME OF US FREAK THE FUCK OUT. YES, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, SLUG. and me.)
I'd slam the door shut and say 'Fuck holy shit. What the fuck? Fuck. Shit. the fuck.'
And then I'd call the police or something and be like, 'There is giant fucking spider in my house, it's seriously giant. This needs to be on the news or some shit because I am going to shit my pants I need that thing out of here.'
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We have a cbox again and we're opening the place up as a closed, members only rp