Post by hostlietakeover on Feb 22, 2009 17:40:01 GMT -5
[glow=green,2,300]This is my official Joke Board. Every Forum's Got to Have one! Come and tell a joke or stop by to laugh your pants off!
If I insult anyone, I'm sorry.
There's a bar with a magic mirror. This magical mirror has the power of sucking anyone who lied in front of it. A brunette comes in and says in front of the mirror,"I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." The mirror sucks her up. A red-head comes in later and stands in front of the mirror and says,"I think I am so beautiful, I could be a model." The mirror then goes and sucks her up. Later on, A blond comes over to the mirror and says,"I think-"and the mirror sucks her up.
A vampire walks into a bar. He asks the bartender to make him a cup of hot water. Once he recived the cup, he then begns to dip a used tampon into the hot water. The bartender looks at the Vampire like he's out of his ever loving mind. The vampire then says,"What? I'm only making tea!!!"
Now For the CHUCK NORRIS and MR.T Jokes.
First off, the top ten facts about Chuck Norris
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
-Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
-Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
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If I insult anyone, I'm sorry.
There's a bar with a magic mirror. This magical mirror has the power of sucking anyone who lied in front of it. A brunette comes in and says in front of the mirror,"I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." The mirror sucks her up. A red-head comes in later and stands in front of the mirror and says,"I think I am so beautiful, I could be a model." The mirror then goes and sucks her up. Later on, A blond comes over to the mirror and says,"I think-"and the mirror sucks her up.
A vampire walks into a bar. He asks the bartender to make him a cup of hot water. Once he recived the cup, he then begns to dip a used tampon into the hot water. The bartender looks at the Vampire like he's out of his ever loving mind. The vampire then says,"What? I'm only making tea!!!"
Now For the CHUCK NORRIS and MR.T Jokes.
First off, the top ten facts about Chuck Norris
01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
-Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
-Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
-Chuck Norris' evil twin brother, Richard Simmons, once approached Chuck with the hope of reconciliation, but at the sight of Richard's curly, well kept hair, Chuck Norris became so enraged that he turned green with hate and ripped Richard Simmons arms and legs off. This action was the origin of the Marvel Comic badass, The Incredible Hulk.
-Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
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We have a cbox again and we're opening the place up as a closed, members only rp