Post by Crowzerplorodon on Feb 9, 2010 19:52:56 GMT -5
Alrighty, so just fill out the form and complete the two bios, and when we have a few applicants, we'll judge ~
Remember, your job will only be to bio mod, but you will be allowed in the Admin section to help make decisions and whatnot. Please do not abuse the power given to you!
Please note, you have to mod the following cats. Leafpaw and Foxclaw. You'll get points based off how well you do. Please PM ALL CRITIQUES to Crow. Do not post them on this board, and please do both cats!
Name:
Cats:
Rankings (if any):
When did you join?:
How OOC active are you?:
How IC active are you?:
Why should you be a bio mod?:
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Cats:[/b]
[b]Rankings (if any):[/b]
[b]When did you join?:[/b]
[b]How OOC active are you?:[/b]
[b]How IC active are you?:[/b]
[b]Why should you be a bio mod?:[/b]Round 2!
Right, this round we are doing things slightly differently. Instead of giving you the bios and going 'analyse' (a difficult thing, we admit), we're giving you a guide on how to analyse in a more direct and efficient way.
So, please analyse the cats above again and send your entries to Crow.
Please note, you may enter this round even if you didn't enter the last one. We are starting over.
So, here are the official guidelines, compounded by the admins together, that will help you get through analysing bios the FoF way.
General notes:
- Cat applications are made, often, by amateur writers. Some of them will not be of a very high writing level, both stylistically and content wise, and it is a bio mod's job to help the biomaker grow through small steps. This means that sometimes it is not always appropriate to point out wording errors or minor cliches, for that may push an rper too far and cause them to give up.
- The bio process is there to ensure ALL cats are FoF-compatible. This means there will always be an emphasis on 'Content not style'. It is more important that you point out those little history innaccuracies than it is to get grammar perfect.
- FoF bio checkers match the amount they critisise someone's cat to the 'skill level' of the bio maker at the time, which often (not always) means younger members. You should not push one of a low skill level to modify their cat into a high level bio as that is unrealistic. However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't push those of a higher level to achieve potential by critting too little.
- We typically do NOT pick apart grammar and sentence structure, unless a sentence is unclear (or it's a non-native english speaker, who will need a lot of aid from the admins.)
- This thread is your best friend. This tells you what a bio should have in it, and you can use it to work out what's missing.
- This, shockingly, is also a fabulous tool, especially for the more detailed sections of the bio.
- First bios need extra consideration and leniency. They will often be of a lower standard, but don't push people too far. With first bios, we often explain the bio process to people so they do not feel insulted by the fact that we want them to change things. A simple "Here at FoF, we aim to help you improve your skills by getting you to develop and change things in your bio. Don't feel insulted by this, everyone has to go through it and it gets easier later on
" will suffice.
" will suffice.Names
Probably the easiest part to correct or spot a mistake in. Names must be traditional under ALL circumstances. There are more detailed guides out there for this, so check them out, but basically you are looking for:
Prefix: First part of the name. Must be an appearance trait. This can be pattern, colour or body build. They may also be named after a creature/plant with a colouring similar to them (e.g Fox=Red). Be careful to find out whether this creature lives in the area of the cats (who live in Colorado) before giving it the all clear.
Suffix: Second part of a name. Continues appearance (-pelt, fur), gives a personality trait (-storm, -heart) or names a skill (-claw, -fang). We do not take bird suffixes or books found beyond the first series of warriors.
If you are unsure, CHECK! Seriously, even for the bio mod application ;P We're not trying to trick you, you know.
Gender:
Check it's filled in. Check the bio uses the appropriate pronoun throughout.
Age:
MUST be appropriate for both the ranking and the history.
Kits: 1-6 moons
Apprentices: 6-15 moons (though there are exceptions)
Warriors: 12-70 moons
Elders: 70+ moons
As for age+history, things get a little harder. Ensure that, once you've read the history, you check to see the age does not make this history is not too eventful and that it holds enough events for the cat. It's hard to give an example, but when it's happened, it's pretty darn apparant.
Rank:
Check it's appropriate for age.
Clan:
It's common for people to put the wrong clan here, in the title, in the bio itself or in the wrong section in applications. Check this is constant throughout and if there is confusion, as the member to clarify which clan they want their cat in. If the cat is in the wrong section, be sure to get an admin to move it.
Beliefs:
Can be a very important section in a bio, considering our underlying plot. Some pointers:
- Believers go in Fogclan and Non-believers go in Pineclan. This is the general rule. There are exceptions, but they need very good reasons. If a believer is aiming to be in Pineclan, you must point this out to the person and either get them to change beliefs or clan. If they want to keep this cat's belief and clan, they need to talk to an admin
- We're looking at Starclan belief and non-belief here. However, cat's are free to believe in other 'made up' religions, as long as these make sense and have 'grown' somewhere in the history.
- We want to hear about what they believe, why they believe and how they use these beliefs in every day life.
Parents
- A cat must have at least one parent unless they have passed their case by an admin.
- If the cat is a kit, they must have a DC mother or foster mother to take care of them. No exceptions.
- These names must be traditional.
- The bio must specify the nature of these characters AND whether these characters are alive or dead.
[DC] = definite character, one who is accepted (yours or another player's), you will make.
[PC] = possible character, you must decide within one week of your cat getting accepted.
[NP] = not played.
Siblings
Names must be traditional. The bio must specify the nature of these characters AND whether these characters are alive or dead.
Other Kin
This may be deleted or blank, this is allowed.
Names must be traditional. The bio must specify the nature of these characters AND whether these characters are alive or dead.
Mate
- Kits, Apprentices, and young Warriors (17 moons is when they are no longer young ones) cannot have mates.
- Mates, unless NP(alive elsewhere) or deceased, must be approved of by an admin in cat central.
- Mates MUST be played by another player.
Crush
Open to any cat. Biomaker should not play cat's crush
Kits
Names must be traditional. The bio must specify the nature of these characters AND whether these characters are alive or dead.
Apprentice/Mentor
Should always say 'Not yet' unless the player has already organised an apprentice before acception (rare).
Appearance
This part is heavily fact-based. While it may not require the keen eye of personality, checking over appearance relies on your ability to determine what's realistic or not. We keep things as realistic as possible here at FoF. There's a genetic guide in the cat central section with basic information, feel free to use that as reference. And there's always Google if you aren't quite sure of something.
The first think you should do is read straight through the appearance. Then pick out the basic qualities the cat has. Namely, size, build, fur color, markings, eye color, and wounds. It's a good idea to list these in a Word document or something, so you're not going back and forth to remember. With the exception of wounds, if the bio-maker hasn't mentioned anything about the categories, then something's wrong and you'll need to get them to add it.
If they're missing something about the categories...
Then tell them what their missing. Word it nicely, of course. We can't have people relying on pictures for their cats, so it's important to make sure all their information is written out. If you think that they addressed a category, but didn't expand enough, then go ahead and mention that, too. “Her fur is gray and has darker stripes” is not adequate for a bio, believe it or not.
If they have everything...
Then check it over to make sure it's realistic and detailed. Again, we don't want people relying on pictures. Don't be afraid to ask an admin or search Google for detailed questions. You want to make sure the appearance is completely realistic and suitable for the cat.
So points to remember are:
- Feral cats are not ever going to be fat. Even if they were kittypets in their former life, they should have worked it off fairly quickly. A cat may be big boned or stocky, but never fat or round belly, and that's important to remember.
- For a cat to have blue eyes, they need a substantial amount of white. More than two hand sizes. For purple eyes, they need to have permission from an admin. Tabbies are the exception to this, but green/yellow eyes are more common for tabbies.
- “White” eyes don't exist unless the cat is blind. If the cat is blind, then the eyes will be blue and foggy, if not completely white (completely white would be a ailment, however).
- Only dark colored (really dark colored) cats can have black whiskers or claws, and we'd like to keep this to a minimum. Lighter colored cats (gingers especially) are prone to “peppered” whiskers, though.
- No purebreds unless of kittypet heritage. But keep an eye on the number of cats of purebred ancestry.
- Make sure wounds are realistic. Losing a limb in the wild would most likely mean death for a cat. And a cat without a limb would be sent straight to the elder den.
And the most important point:
SOME APPEARANCES CAN BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND NOT NEED MODERATION.
Don't try to mod one if it does not need to be modded. This goes the same for all other sections.
Personality
This and History are the hardest parts of the bio to crit by a long way. Unfortunately, critting personalities tends to be a developed and acquired skill, so it is as hard analysing them as it is writing them. The admins will not expect you to be expert in this area straight away as this would be unfair and we're looking for those with the capability to analyse generally. This section will get messy, so it is suggested that you read it all through a few times.
General
- There is no set way to analyse personalities, bluntly put. You'll have to feel your way with this a fair amount.
- Personalities are incredibly hard to put down in words. When critting, you must keep in mind that very few people are good at writing personalities on paper, and must sometimes be incredibly forgiving.
- Those critting a personality should not attempt to make the cat. Sounds bizarre, but it's easy to slip into. Remember the cat belongs to the bio-maker and do not tell them what traits to add. It is your job to help pull out the more interesting lurking-under-the-surface traits in a bio by pointing out areas of interest and telling the person to 'expand' it. (If you don't know how to do this, check the 'expand' section). Some cats will be cliched and generic, but it's important you let a person learn how not to make a more unique cat themselves rather than telling them to change key traits.
- Never ever insult a bio-maker. Ever. Never say things like 'This cat is a tad on the boring side'.
- Keep your tone friendly. Try to pick out a few good traits about the bio along with your critisisms, especially if there's alot of them. Be encouraging and nurturing and try not to patronise. Imagine you're helping a best friend rather than a stranger, it helps.
- This is the area people often need the most help with, but you absolutely must be focused on getting the cat FoF suitable first. Then, focus on one or two lacking areas of the bio and improve/teach how to write them. Small steps.
- Personality and history are inextricably linked, so it is important that you read personality before AND after a history to ensure it makes sense.
Methods to analysing a bio
You'll need to use all of them, but they're single methods within themselves.
- A formulaic way of taking apart a functional bio
Spotting the key parts of a bio and knowing what is lacking is crucial. This is what I consider to be the main parts of a bio.
The general overview: A really basic overview of a cat. Usually the '____ is a fun-loving cat with a strangely serious way of viewing the world' part of the bio. This may touch upon personality traits but not explain them, for that will often happen later in the bio.
The in-depth bit: A very very large umbrella. This should explain the personality traits in more detail as well as uncover the main underlying drives the cat has. Opinions may also play a part. This is often the problem part of the bio, as motives may seem unclear or personality traits may be under explained.
E.g.
"Whiteclaw is a peaceful cat because he hates to watch other cats fight. (Personality trait expansion) When he was a kit, his brother was killed in a pointless battle with another cat because he was too eager to fight. He is now scared that, if other battles are fought, he will lose others he loves. (Drive/motive) This has left him believing that the best battles are fought with words and that violence should never be used, even in extreme circumstances, because that way no cat will die pointlessly. (Opinion and explanation/some motive.)"
Main drives provide the 'glue' for a personality, knitting the character together, and for a cat to work a cat really needs at least one. In the little example above, we covered a drive/motive, which was that the cat did not want anyone to die, however this is not a main drive. Main drives inspire all actions in life, and people tend to lean towards one or two main drives (psychology is complicated and really with have alot, but for the sake of simplicity, one or two are fine.). For example, Whitestorm's main drive could be 'Friendship/Caring', for he cares for his comrades and so fears for them if they die. If this were true, it would filter through into other aspects of his personality, so he would probably place the value of life over politics (because he would never use force) and he could be doting to those he loves. Alternately, Whitestorm could have an intense fear of being alone (caused by losing loved ones), selfishly ignoring a need for violence because he's scared of others dying and clinging relentlessly to those he loves. See how different this cat could turn out? Come to grip with main drives and it'll help you enormously.
Main drives will be woven through the bio but may be more subtle and explicit. If you cannot locate one, ask biomaker what it is ;P. Among the most common are:
- Loyalty (Cat will do anything for their clan)
- Ambition (Do anything for power)
- Friendship/Caring (Do anything to keep everyone happy/Care about everyone)
- Respect (Anything for respect)
- Learning
However, Main Drives can be really REALLY bizarre, so look carefully for them. If a cat doesn't blatantly go into main drives, it's worth getting the bio maker to consider it.
The 'How other cats see my character' bit: This is important to the cat as it brings context into the picture. To understand how other cats will react to the cat, a bio writer should have at least written a few sentences on this. If it is missed out entirely, ensure you tell people to add it in. Be sure, however, to ensure that the bio owner doesn't assume all cats will act this way. Terms like 'often', 'normally', 'some cats' should be used here.
E.g Molewhisker often scares other cats because of his 'illness' and because his odd way of speaking. This element of fear often remains long into the beginning of Molewhisker's relationship with someone because it is difficult to get past the disfigurement even after the initial shock. Cats often pity and care about Molewhisker more than they like him, unable to see the actual cat behind the furless outside and fancy words.
Now, unfortunately, these are often not done chronologically or in any sort of order at all. You may get an 'outside view' and interlinked 'in-depth bit' in the space of a few sentences. Look out for the elements, though, because it will come in handy.
[/li][li] The formula for creating and establishing a good character trait:[/size]
Agreed that this is the worst title ever
. That aside, this is something to help you, again, see creating a character as formulaic, making it much easier to analyse and point your critisisms.The features:
Heres a REALLY basic version of the chain.
What - What the trait is.
Bluebelly is a shy cat.
Why - The reason for why she feels/acts this way.
This is because she is scared that cats will not like her.
When - When does this trait show itself?
Bluebelly is mostly shy around cats who are superior to her in rank, because she feels inferior, and toms because they have treated her badly in the past.
How - How did she gain this trait. This may be included in the history instead of personality, so watch out. This will be down to an event or the social climate they grew up in.
Bluebelly is scared of males because she grew up alongside her brother and father (her mother died when she was young.). The two males constantly tormented and hurt her causing her to take a great dislike to the opposite gender. When it comes to being scared of rank, her dominating sibling and father made her afraid that any figure of authority in her life was out to hurt her, so she tries whatever she can to appease them so she is not injured.
Practice - How does this trait effect her in practice?
Because she is shy, Bluebelly avoids cats of high ranks and cowers whenever they speak to her. Her stance is permanently submissive, causing cats to speak down to her.
This is an incredibly simplistic way of working out how a trait can be established in the character. It can also help you work out what questions you need to ask when you ask someone to 'Expand' something.
[/li][li] The 'Overall' balanced cat tips.[/size]
The last few bits have focused on the writing of a bio and establishing of characteristics whereas this ensures you have a fail-safe FoF cat even if the bio is of a lower standard.
- Read the personality and summarise the traits into simple generic words.
Whitestorm
Pacifist
Clingy
Annoying
Caring
Happy
Doting
Positive
- Seperate these traits into 'Positive traits' and 'Negative traits'.
Whitestorm
Positive
Pacifist
Caring
Happy
Doting
Positive
Negative
Clingy
Annoying
Insecure
[/center]Positive
Pacifist
Caring
Happy
Doting
Positive
Negative
Clingy
Annoying
Insecure
- Look at these traits. Are there roughly an equal amount of positive and negative traits? You will need to consider the weight of the negative traits (Insecure is a massive thing, Clingy is easily changeable and miniscule in comparison).
- If there is a balanced set of traits, you need not do any more.
- If there is NOT a balanced set of traits, you need to ask the person to suggest what is bad about the character. You could suggest something positive which could be seen as negative (Pacifism) in order to inspire the writer into creating a nice interlinking negative trait.
- This ensures no Mary-sues slip through the net. Simple stuff ;P And it doesn't take very long.
[/li][/ul]
Congrats on living through that
I promise you, not all of it needs to be done extensively (or religiously, especially not the second approach) and it does get easier. It's detailed because I've tried to give you ways to improve a GOOD bio as well as a bad one XD Some elements would not be needed for a good bio, others wouldn't be needed for a less apt one. You'll need to feel out which for yourself.Skills
Only thing I have to say here, apart from the stuff in the Good Application guide, is that a person should mention all the 'key skills'. Fighting and Hunting need to be mentioned definitely. For the rest, just check out the guide
.History
Key things to look out for:
- The history MUST, under ALL circumstances, fit with the underlying plot. With exception to a few kits, all cats must have been rogues, loners, Kittypets or Forestclan cats. Adult cats must either have joined the journey or found the clans when they were first established to fit into the plot. You WILL need to know the plots inside out for this bit, so go take a refreshers course ;P
- Personality is linked to history. Events should at least loosely have 'caused' the current personality. A cat with loving parents and a good mate would not be a bitter, cold heartless cat. If this isn't there, try and aid the bio-maker in making some links and adding in life-changing events. In a higher skilled bio-maker, this link is often the last skill that goes towards making a supreme bio, so really encourage them to do so.
- Look out for 'blank patches' in the cat's history. Sometimes people write histories with barely any actual events so you go 20 moons with no indication of how the cat is progressing. Encourage people to fill in these areas with events or at least 'Blabla lived happily with his parents during this time.'
- Look out for too many events for the age of the cat. It happens a great deal. If this happens, encourage the person to raise the age of the cat.
- Be sure to make sure the person has put 'time indicators' on the bio. If they do not say when events happened (e.g 'At about 10 moons'), the history is hard to follow and you need to tell them to put time markers in.
The reality check
- Is the personality realistic? If not, why? - Pinpoint an area and tell the person to improve it.
- Are the habits of cats/other animals realistic? - Vegetarian cats are no-nos, for example. Mothers cannot abuse their kits due to maternal instincts. You would not get a 'pack of voles' (Voles are solitary).
- Are events realistic?
[/size]
[/justify]
![ZEBRA ! [used to be toasty] Avatar](http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii224/lauravanhasselt/spiritupdated.jpg)
