[ the forgotten willow & the lost dove ] PRIVATE

[Slug]

"So what happened to that Willowpaw? Where's he hiding?"

"I... don't know," Willowpaw admitted quietly, smile faltering. Where was he hiding? Where? The sudden need to know was just overpowering-- to be able to tell Dovepaw with pride that he had found himself. But that was the thing: he didn't know that hiding spot and he didn't know where to start looking.

And for a moment, Willowpaw feared.

Maybe he wasn't hiding. Instead, perhaps...

Something far worse had happened.

Panic made his heart thunder against his ribs, and Willowpaw suddenly couldn't think anymore-- couldn't breathe...

You're being mousebrained again.

He took a huge gulp of much needed air, eyes widening. He was being mousebrained. Really, he wasn't hiding. He was right here. The thought of there being two of him was laughable, but... something-- in the back of his mind... a familiar whisper. A familiar voice? No, that was just the breeze passing by his ears.

...Where was the breeze, though?

"Yes, I do think you're strong. You made the decision to leave, so things would be better for you. I was too weak to do that. I was too afraid, so I stayed behind. Now I wish I'd gone."

Dovepaw's words snapped him out of his scattered thoughts, and he blinked owlishly for a few seconds. Huh?

...And then his whiskers twitched and he grinned, eyes bright with determination. It was a green fire that lit up his silver features, fangs flashing and purr tumbling out before he could stop himself. "You're right, I am strong," the confidence was alien to him, and Willowpaw didn't feel like Willowpaw. No, he felt...

A lot greater than that, actually.

There I am.

That voice, a faint whisper in his ears. But it was there, and with words only for him, Willowpaw's confidence grew. Yes, he was right here. He was here and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"You... you're welcome. I dunno why I'd run away though. You're brave, but not scary."

"Bravery is found in the strangest of places," Willowpaw murmured, nose crinkling with amusement as Dovepaw stuck her tongue out at him. "It's also been known as stupidity," and then he playfully swatted Dovepaw's shoulder, purring louder than he had ever before.

I'm back.

---

_{OOC: Willowpaw's mind just snapped. ._. In the good way? I... don't know, but it feels right. /derp}

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw worried for a second that she'd made things even worse for Willowpaw. The look on his face, for a second, had broken her heart. He'd looked so lost and frightened and small. Unbidden, the forest seemed to change places and instead of standing in an open field, Dovepaw was boxed in by trees and fog and fear. Her fur grew out and lost some of its toughness, and she shrunk in stature. Her tiny voice, frightened, called out for her siblings.

"Sugar? Vanilla? You can come out now. I know you followed me." Marshmallow looked around for her siblings, short, frantic breaths quaking her tiny little chest. Slowly, the realization that she was alone dawned on her. Suddenly, she seemed even smaller than she already was. Her family was gone.

She was alone. It was her fault.

"S-sugar? Vanilla? Please find me. I'll wait for you. I love you. Please come get me." Marshmallow let out a whimper, laying down with her chin on her paws. "I'm scared."

It was Marshmallow's first taste of fear and she did not like it. It tasted strange, and made her throat choke up. She didn't like being alone.

Dovepaw shook her head. She hadn't thought about that day for moons, her first day alone in the forest. It forced her to relate to Willowpaw in a way that she had never related to anybody before. She now understood what he meant when he said he didn't know where he'd gone. The poor she-cat had no idea where she'd gone either. Until she knew what had happened to her family, she doubted that she ever would know.

And then Willowpaw was grinning. He was grinning and a spark lit up in his eyes and he shoved her in the shoulder and all was right in the world. She couldn't help but laugh with happiness, overcome with the spirit of the moment. "Well, welcome back, Willowpaw," she purred with a smile. At least he was happy now.

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[Slug]

When Dovepaw's face twisted with distress, Willowpaw wondered if he had done something wrong. Was it something he said? Maybe she hadn't liked it when he had swatted her? He didn't want to lose her. She was too good of a she-cat and friend for that to happen! Willowpaw needed to make it better. He knew this now, just from the frightened look in his white companion's eyes.

"Dov--"

She shook her head, as if to silence him. And he did, falling silent. Waiting.

In the next few seconds, something amazing happened: Dovepaw laughed. It took Willowpaw by surprise, but it was a pleasant surprise. It was something that he wanted to catch and keep forever. To hear it over and over again. It was light-hearted and raw with delight.

And her smile made it all the more beautiful.

"Well, welcome back, Willowpaw.

He flashed a furry dimple at her and pressed his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes with that steady, twinkling gaze. It felt strange to be so close to another cat, but at the same time, it was familiar. Hazy, but familiar nonetheless. "Thanks," he murmured.

And he meant it. Dovepaw had done something to him. Maybe it was her kindness. Maybe it was something else entirely. But it was Dovepaw who struck a chord in him. It was Dovepaw who made him feel like himself again. He had to repay the favor. Somehow, some way, he wasn't sure. But he would.

"Kind of crazy how things change so quickly," Willowpaw began softly. "How quickly you can change me. I wouldn't have believed it if somecat told me that a few minutes with a total stranger could make my life just that much brighter." A gentle smile.

"But I know you now and that makes all the difference. You listened to me talk about my problems, Dovepaw. A tom that you never spoken to," he paused, leaning back slightly. He needed to look at Dovepaw when he said this. Really look at her as much as she needed to see him. So she could see the truth.

"So I just want you to know... I'm here for you as much as you are me."

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw normally would have jerked back from anybody touching her, especially her face, but something was different about this. Perhaps it was the true friendship she had stumbled upon with Willowpaw that made it different, but something about this felt right. Nobody had touched her since she'd lost her family, at least not in a way that really counted. She'd had battle training and medical attention, but nobody had gone anywhere near her unless necessity prompted it. After the fox attack, things had gotten even worse. It seemed to unnerve her clanmates to look at her scarred up shoulders and neck, like she was a living reminder of the fact that nobody could guarantee the next day of their lives. They couldn't stomach the sight of her. She terrified cats, either that or she just slipped under their noticed.

In any case, she had grown to be used to this lack of, well, she didn't really know what to call it anymore. What was it called when you wrestled with your siblings and twined your tail with theirs and rubbed your head on their necks? Whatever it was, she'd missed it, and it seemed that she'd just found it again. There was nothing deeper about this touch. It just was. And Dovepaw was happy.

But then Willowpaw pulled away and started talking some more. He must have been talking before, but it hadn't really registered with Dovepaw. She'd still been reeling from the fact that somebody was touching her and she wasn't repulsed, that it felt right. Now that she thought about it, she could recall his words very clearly, and they completely rocked her world. She, who had failed at everything important, who had lost her family, who hadn't saved her mentor from the fox, who had caved in to Mistpelt and given that confession, had actually changed somebody. She'd changed somebody and made their life better.

Bright. That was what he'd said. Bright. She'd made his life bright. That was the best feeling in the world. An unbidden grin broke out on her face and, had it been physically possible, tears of joy would have begun rolling down her cheeks. This was the strongest positive emotion she'd felt in over a year. This was the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Her family had been taken away, but that was okay, because she had her family back now. Willowpaw was her family. That was why she hadn't wanted to draw away when he'd touched her, why she'd gone ahead and touched him in the first place.

Deep emotion, when revealed to the one feeling said emotion, is more often than not the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. That rule was not broken for Dovepaw. Revelations tend to blow the mind. For Dovepaw, her entire life was blown to bits. All the shame she'd felt melted away and she emerged out of the fires of trial and darkness as a new soul, completely untouched by the past. She was clean. The weight of her guilt had been lifted away and she could finally breathe again.

"Thank you, Willowpaw," she whispered, shoulders shaking in silent laughter that could only stem from the utmost relief, voice quavering with emotion. Dovepaw was alive again! She was new! Nothing could ever touch her again! Sorrow was gone, shame was a thing of the past, and all the guilt that she'd been torturing herself with for months had simply vanished. She had no idea what had happened, but it was good.

"I'd forgotten what it was like to have a family. I lost everybody as a kit, and it was my fault, and I've just been... I don't even know, man." She shook her head, trying to organize her thoughts. "See, when I was little, I was a kittypet. One day I figured it'd be a good idea to play a game in the forest with my brother and sister. They didn't want to go, but I made them. But then we," she took a deep breath, blinking, "Actually, I told them I was going to go look around to make sure we were safe. So I left. Even took a second glance, saw my brother holding my sister back from chasing after me, and I left anyway.

"Her voice still haunts me, Willowpaw. I can still hear her asking me not to go, telling me that she was so scared. I've regretted that every day of my life since then. I looked for them, you know, until FogClan found me." Dovepaw paused. This was just awkward. Her brain was stalling. She couldn't think. The old feelings were already trying to come back to leech on to her soul again. Well, she wouldn't let them!

"For the majority of my life, I haven't had a family. But when I'm around you, it feels like I have one again. So thanks. If I've made your life better, you've given me life again. I... something changed. I don't know how, but things are right again. I feel light." Dovepaw's smile returned, and this time it was untouched by sadness. It was, for the first time in a very long time, a pure smile. Nothing bad was touching her anymore, so the smile reflected unadulterated goodness.

Dovepaw wasn't alone in the forest anymore. If she ever got lost, her brother would be there right along with her. She would never have to face anything by herself again. That was cause to celebrate, so she leaned forward and rubbed her cheek against his neck. This was her brother, even if they weren't related by blood. This was her brother.

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[Slug]

He listened closely, hanging on to every word that slipped past Dovepaw's maw. She was like him... She didn't have a family. She lost them. And that made them kin, in a twisted, depressing sort of way. But maybe that's what drew him to her, and she to him. Maybe that's why they understood each other so well. Maybe... that's what will keep them going.

Each other.

"For the majority of my life, I haven't had a family. But when I'm around you, it feels like I have one again. So thanks. If I've made your life better, you've given me life again. I... something changed. I don't know how, but things are right again. I feel light."

And then the world was light. Like a feather dancing on the wind, under the sun. Light, warm, and for the first time, free of the depressing hold that the loss of his father left in him. He had someone again. Family. Family.

He liked the sound of that.

"That tickles," Willowpaw grinned, and then bumped his wet, cold nose into Dovepaw's ear in response to her affection.

And then proceeded to make snorting noises.

"Look, I'm a badger!" he purred out before snorting in her ear again, a silly grin plastered on his maw.

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw snorted, barely managing to hold back a burst of laughter at Willowpaw's ridiculous behavior. A badger, now, was he? Hah, more like a silly little fluffy bird! Dovepaw had always pitied baby birds for some reason. They were fluffy and cute, yes, but they were so dependent on the care of others. They were essentially helpless. In that case, she was the bird and he was more like a... something else. She didn't quite know. But he wasn't a bird anymore.

"Oh yeah, you're a badger all right," she purred, chuckling softly. "Yes, a badger with a tiny, wet nose. Now my ear's cold, you dork!" She swatted him gently on his ear, grinning mischievously.

"So, Mr. Badger, how well have your battle skills been holding up in this great wilderness?" Dovepaw stood up now and backed away about a fox length, tail swishing playfully, eyes all alight with green fire. She hoped that Willowpaw wouldn't mind a little game. After all, she was over the border now, so it wasn't like he'd be tainting FogClan's holy land with his foreign smells of hay and wood. He needn't worry about that.

Ah well, it shouldn't matter if he freaked out about the border or not. It was time to play a game! So Dovepaw pounced on him, grinning, and tried to bowl him over. It was like being a kit again!

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[Slug]

Willowpaw gave a light-hearted protest as he got a swat to the ear, green eyes laughing at the grin that settled on Dovepaw's maw. The sudden rush of just goofing off was almost addicting for the silver tom. It was... unreal. But he wasn't complaining. No, never with Dovepaw. This was their moment. Today was theirs to play and waste away with laughter.

"So, Mr. Badger, how well have your battle skills been holding up in this great wilderness?"

Mr. Badger? He grinned at that. Mr. Badger. How... spy. He suddenly felt like he was undercover for a secret mission from Owlstar. Infiltrate FogClan and remove Miststar from the equation, else the forest become brainwashed by her herbs that induce hallucinations called StarClan. Yes, the herb that did it all: STARTARD.

His humorous thoughts were interrupted as Dovepaw came flying at him, laughing as he tumbled gracelessly onto his side with a loud thwump! "Hey, hey! That's cheating," he sulked, and then grinned madly as he swatted at Dovepaw's leg. He didn't mind-- how could he? Dovepaw meant no harm and from her own grin, she was feeling just as giggly as he was at the moment.

Of course, his giggly was more manly, but still.

"The great wilderness is shabbafying my hunting skills," he complained as he rolled away to safety.

[glowlynose]

Dovepaw laughed freely, enjoying the sound it made. It was so strange; she'd nearly forgotten the sound of laughter, how it rose and fell, how melodious it could be. It made her ears happy. In fact, it could be said that she was brimming with happiness. It shot out her whiskers and ears, through her tail, down her paws and into the earth, and even out her nose like milk. Willowpaw made her happy in his happiness, and she bet that she made him happy too, and that was good.

But he rolled away, and that simply could not be tolerated. He escaped from her mighty grasp! Perhaps a distraction would help? "Shabbafying? Is that even a word?" She slunk toward him, head tilted to the side in mock curiosity. She smirked now. Her circles were getting smaller and smaller. She could only imagine how dizzy she would be if she was stuck in the middle, because she'd be turning around trying to keep eye contact with her attacker.

"And by the way, this has nothing to do with hunting. This is all battle skill." With that said and a huge grin, she leaped for him, but overestimated the distance and ended up flying over him and landing on the ground in a heap. She was a laughing heap, but a heap nonetheless. It was a good thing she wasn't in a real battle, because that little idiocy would have been the end of her. Still, it was amusing.

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