I am the master [RainxGinger] of my fate. (Open)

[glowlynose]

Rain tossed and turned fretfully in his bed of moss, so carefully arranged by the young apprentice Crowpaw. He was thrashing so violently at times that bits of moss would fly into various crevices inside the den, a few clumps in the tansy, one stuck in the entrance, etc etc. However, his nightmares were not the type to bring about cries of terror, so the medicine staff were left to slumber in peace.

Perhaps his traumatizing dreams could be attributed to the fact that he had gone to sleep the previous day with a heavy heart. Now that he was fully healed, Rain would have to make a decision to stay or to continue searching for his family. Of course, his apprentice friends had balked at the idea, even to the point of begging him to stay. Ah, Willowpaw and Juncopaw. Bless their little hearts. The loner had gone to sleep still not knowing what path to choose, and the guilt of both possible choices had burdened his soul. If he remained behind in PineClan territory and joined this clan of amazing, strong cats, then he would be abandoning his previous life completely. If he resumed his search, he would be abandoning little Willowpaw.

Rain had done a strange thing before going to sleep. He had made a wish on a star. It was something he'd never seen anybody else do before, not even Analucia. He'd wished for his dream to show him what path he was supposed to take. Well, it was, but it was far from anything the poor tom had ever wanted.

There was a big house. A big house, in the middle of a bunch of other houses that all looked the same except for the colors of their walls. This house was different from the rest, though. This house had children playing in the front yard. They were playing with cats. One of them was a ginger she-cat.

At first, Rain did not see any particular significance in this. So what if some human kits were playing with cats? Then the ginger she-cat turned around and looked straight at him. It was worse than he could have ever imagined. He could have dealt with Analucia being dead, but Ana and his kits living in the city? How could this have happened? He called out to her, but she didn't notice him.

It was then that he realized that she hadn't turned around to look at him. She wasn't looking at him with sparkles in her eyes and laughter floating away to the clouds. She was looking at another tom that way. She didn't see him. What was worse, the tom was looking at her the same way! They... they loved each other. She was happy, and safe, and more in love with this housecat tom than she had ever been with him.

Rain was livid. Who was this stranger to come and steal away his princess? She was HIS, damn it all! He didn't deserve her. All he deserved was to feel the slice of rain's claws through his wimpy, untoned housecat muscles and tendons. He would rescue her! As he was preparing to pounce, the horrific scene melted away into darkness, and suddenly it was just him and Ana, suspended in dark vertigo.

"Don't, Rain," she said simply, eyes downcast, whispering. She didn't want to look him in the eye.

"Why not?" he challenged. "He's not a cowboy or a knight in shining armor. He's brown. His armor's done gone and got all rusty, Ana. He don't deserve you. I'm your knight, remember?"

"No, Rain."

"But you said... you always said that..."

"Just admit it. You never loved me, Rain, not in the way I loved you. I was never more than a replacement for your lost sister. You stayed with me so you could protect me, that's all." She smiled wistfully, though there was a profound sadness in her eyes.

"That's not true, Ana!"

"Yes it is. You were my knight out of duty, like all good knights were. And I'm okay with that. We can both stop pretending now. I've moved on. Now I have Jerry, and I know what it's like for somebody to love me back. You're free to go off and be jilted yourself."

"Ana..."

"Goodbye, Rain. I'll miss you. Don't come looking for me, okay? Stay wherever you're at." With that said, Analucia turned around and walked away. Rain started tumbling through the black, grasping with his paws, desperately trying to find something to hold on to. He was so concentrated on his descent that he didn't notice how Analucia turned around to look at him one last time, or how she whispered that she would always love him. Maybe he didn't notice because it just wasn't important anymore.

Rain awoke with a start, daylight streaming in from PineClan camp. He was gasping for breath, his entire body shivering. It was a good thing Crowpaw wasn't around, because he would make him lie back down and take some more herbs. The herbs wouldn't do anything, though. The sheer terror of his dream had put him in this state.

It was strange, though. The really frightening thing hadn't been seeing Ana's new life, or having her walk away from him. What had chilled Rain to his soul was the fact that she had spoken the truth about him. He had never, ever felt any sort of romantic love for Analucia. To be called out on it and even forgiven for it... it just wasn't right. Now he had nothing to do with his life. He couldn't go look for her. She'd told him not to.

Rain shook his head. He could figure this out later. What he really needed right now was some breakfast. Since coming to the clan, he'd gotten accustomed to having a meal every morning and evening. It just seemed natural to him. Come to think of it, a lot of things about clan life seemed natural to him. Perhaps staying here wouldn't be such a bad fate after all. Ah, there was Gingerstar! He'd just go right on over and ask her to join the clan. It couldn't go too horribly, right? I mean, the worst that could happen was that she could banish him from the clan's territory and threaten to skin him alive if he ever set paw on it again. Yeah, nothing too horrible.

"Good mornin', Gingerstar! Fine day, ain't it? That rain a few days ago sure has made them plants perk right on up. Here, I brought you somethin'."

[/b] All that had been spoken through the squirrel he had brought from the fresh-kill pile, which he promptly set on the ground infront of Gingerstar. Now, he would have to tread carefully. She would suspect something was afoot (or apaw), surely, for their previous encounters had been... shall we say, less than civil?

"I'm not one to skirt 'round an issue, so I'll be straightfor'ard with ya. First time I met yah, I thought you were downright crazy for wantin' to get in a fight over this bit of land. But then I came here, and I got to know your clan a little bit, and I realized that it weren't just the land you were protecting. It was these cats. You sort of love them all, don't ya?

"In any case, I was wonderin' if maybe, I could possibly stay here and become a member of PineClan. You know, permanent-like. I want to fight for these cats too."[/b] Rain's eyes, for once, showed no sign of humor or amusement. He was completely sincere and serious. Since he couldn't go off and find Analucia, which would have been pointless anyway, he was going to remain here. She was no longer his life's purpose. He'd found something new to protect, and a new challenge to overcome.

Protect PineClan. Earn Gingerstar's respect. That was what he was going to do with his life.
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[Whiskers]

It was the sunshine that woke Gingerstar from her dreams. Though her eyes were closed, a strip of warm sunshine tiptoed into the den and danced across her face, tickling her nose and teasing her eyes open, with each small flutter of her eyelashes. When she saw the sun, she couldn't help but smile; the sun had been absent from the forest lately and she had missed it and the warmth is brought, so seeing it return automatically put her in a pleased mood. She would not have to worry about showers today or cloudy, grumpy skies. It was going to be beautiful, she could feel it in this one bold strip of sunshine that had stolen into her den.

And a beautiful day meant hard work for the clan. She would have to get up and find Aspenheart immediately, so she could talk to him about the patrols she wanted out and about today. There weren't many border patrols, just a few extra near the Fogclan border. She actually wanted someone on that border all day if she was to be honest with herself. She did not trust Miststar for anything. As for hunting patrols, she wanted more of those. The rainy weather had made hunting harder. Cats had been reluctant to go out and find food and prey had been reluctant to come out of their hiding places too. The fresh-kill pile was starting to look low.

She also needed to discuss Willowpaw's punishment with her deputy. The apprentice's wounds were healing up nicely and she had left the medicine cat den two days ago. Gingerstar thought it was high-time she gave that rulebreaking apprentice a suitable punishment that would make Willowpaw appreciate the rules and regret her actions. Gingerstar herself was all up for sending Willowpaw back to the nursery for a few weeks, significantly delaying her training. But she had a feeling Aspenheart wouldn't take to that idea. Knowing him, he'd probably call her 'harsh.'

But she was Gingerstar. And that was how she rolled.

With all these things to do springing to her mind, Gingerstar knew she couldn't lay in bed a second longer and so she left the privacy of her den and instantly began the search for her deputy. She would not be surprised if he had taken the initiative to organize and participate in the dawn patrol; Aspenheart was a team player and quite thorough with his job, that Gingerstar could say with confidence. If this was the case, Gingerstar would be fine with waiting. The dawn patrol would be back soon and she could enjoy some breakfast.

Before Gingerstar could do just that, the smell of loner washed across her and her head turned sharply, finding Rain as he trotted toward her audaciously, a delicious-looking squirrel clamped in his jaws. He, too, was practically all healed, and he no longer limped when he walked. It boiled her blood, seeing him with Pineclan prey clutched in his filthy, loner mouth, prey that he had neither caught or worked for. Sure, he had been injured badly, mobbed by a pack of rats to the point where he couldn't stand and was delirious to the point of hallucination-- but that still didn't excuse him for taking advantage of her hospitality and stealing Pineclan prey! The very least he could have done was starve. At least then Gingerstar wouldn't have to deal with him.

Selfish tom.

He began speaking, offering the squirrel as a peace offering before launching into a tirade, a practiced speech on her and her clan. She was surprised that he had even understood a little of the passion she had for all the cats in Pineclan, and for a second, this surprise melted her hard, judging features. Her leader face was back on in the next second though, as soon as he uttered the words "I could possibly stay here and become a member of PineClan."

And with those words, Gingerstar's day was ruined. A feeling of intense nausea turned her stomach and choked her throat, sent her stepping back, retreating from Rain as her ears flicked backward. Fear-- nothing but fear-- held her eyes in that initial moment. She did not want this tom in her clan. It was her clan. It was her life. It was where she was safe, where she controlled almost everything, where she had escaped to, where Starclan couldn't mock her. And this cat, this tom, this male, had the gall to ask to intrude and ruin it. She had already let Bluefur in, a big, hulking tom-- granted that had been many moons ago and she had been desperate for quantity. But now she shouldn't have to let in another intimidating, large male. She shouldn't have to do that, it was her clan!

Her fear fled to the back of her mind and her anger took over. Anger. Now that was an emotion Gingerstar knew well and yes, even enjoyed. Her claws sliced into the soil, her chin lifted and she looked down at Rain. She let the anger fill her up and make her bigger and stronger than him. Because she was Gingerstar, this was her clan and he was nothing compared to her.

"No," she said and her anger cut cold and deep. She was calm, composed, but fierce. "I can't trust you and you are no Pineclan warrior."

(Okay, now though this thread is 'open,' it's sorta important that Aspenheart or No-ears (or any of the elders really) posts and puts Gingerstar in her place, reminding her she doesn't make all the decisions 'round here, and that a meeting will take place where the elders decide together Rain's fate. :P So if you'd wait for that, I'd appreciate it)

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[Pyro]

Trouble was so strong on the wind Aspenheart could practically taste it.

But of course, that seemed to be a trend as of late. 'At least no one can say it hasn't been an interesting newleaf' he thought to himself as he watched Rain walk over to Gingerstar. He turned away as they began to talk. Eavesdropping, while often a producer of tasty bits of information, was hardly an activity for a deputy. No. Uh, that was a lie. It was. Completely and utterly. But perhaps he didn't want to listen to whatever nonsense Gingerstar would use to excuse herself from talking from the loner. It was ridiculous, the way she looked at Rain. To Aspenheart's knowledge, the tom had only trespassed on PineClan's territory. A serious offense, yes, but his doing so had saved Willowpaw. Surely that was a good enough outcome that an infraction could be ignored? Just this once? He just knew there was something Gingerstar wasn't telling him...but he wouldn't prod. If there was one thing you didn't try with Gingerstar, it was prodding. Still, Aspenheart wished she trusted him enough to tell him the whole story. Trust would come in good time, though, he supposed.

"In any case, I was wonderin' if maybe, I could possibly stay here and become a member of PineClan. You know, permanent-like. I want to fight for these cats too."

The words were unavoidable, no matter how much Aspenheart tried to let the two have their privacy. Rain was asking to stay. Aspenheart's gaze flicked back over to the pair. Perhaps he should eavesdrop. Well, not that he wasn't already...But perhaps with more intent to eavesdrop? This was a conversation he didn't want to miss. Technically it was a conversation he and the council should be a part of...but he was sure Gingerstar would not forget so vital a fact. Aspenheart listened intently now, waiting for Gingerstar's response. He'd hate to have to get involved. Getting involved was so...well...he was already involved with Rain's fate too much. Hell, he'd practically taken sides already...The key to diplomacy was being involved without being involved. Now he'd have to get involved while being involved. He'd would have had to attend and speak at the meeting that was now imminent of course...But that hadn't necessarily entail getting involved.

As he heard Gingerstar's decision, a decision she didn't have the right to give, at least not yet, he realized there was really no way he couldn't get involved, no matter how biased he was. He had to get involved, despite his bias, because of his bias. PineClan needed strong warriors. There was no telling how the new leader of Fogclan would be. PineClan needed to be as prepared as possible. Those were the reasons he could give. Sensible reasons. Nothing sappy like, 'He saved one of our own. He didn't have to, but he did. Can't we give him a chance?' Aspenheart sighed. If Rain had someone biased working against him, then it was only fair he had someone biased working for him.

The stocky tom got up painstakingly slow, organizing his thoughts. Maybe this would work itself out. Maybe Gingerstar would backtrack and say that Rain's fate would be decided by the council. He glanced at her angry eyes and sighed again. He sensed he was going to age very quickly working alongside her stubbornness. 'Wish she'd just loosen up. It'd make things so much easier.'

"Gingerstar...I agree that Rain is not a PineClan warrior. Yet." he said as he padded over to sit with the pair. "However, per'aps with time, he could be. If we think of him more as a po'ential warrior and less as a visi'eh, I'm sure we'd find the seeds of trus' could be sown more readily. And if they can't...if by some chance he can noh' be trusted...Then it should be easy to dispatch him. "

Aspenheart's pale green eyes flashed briefly with a hint of some sharper emotion. Anger? Reproach maybe? "This is a decision that should not be made...so quickly." The words 'so quickly' seemed to twist as Aspenheart said them, taking on a different meaning. It was more like he was saying ' This is a decision that should not be made by you alone.' "I'm sure the elders would like to hear what Rain has to say before anything is decided."

[Cloud of Diamonds]

"Indeed." Said the passing she-cat whose keen ears had heard the last few sentences spoken by the deputy. Well, she'd heard more than that from the shade of a holly bush, but she didn't want to admit it. It was pointless, anyway. The gray tabby tom was indeed right; Gingerstar had no right to make rash decisions based merely on emotion, so it seemed. Had she forgotten how her own Clan worked? As quickly as the aged PineClanner could, she strode over to the trio and sat down on the other side of the bright-furred leader, her one seeing eye steady and calm.

"Aspenheart is correct; your opinion is important, Gingerstar, but before we do anything we three must also speak with Sableheart, Jaggedclaw, and No-ears to hear what they have to say. We can weigh the offenses and defenses of -" Here she dipped her head to the loner quickly. "-before we do anything." Pure habit and memory made it hard for Plovereye to refer to any cat in third person while they were in her presence. It had been done so often to her as a kit, insulted by her sisters, that she herself had dropped the practice entirely. Being talked about when you were right there was not a happy memory for the tabby.

She wondered vaguely if Gingerstar would simply grow more angry; but she doubted it. Angry she might be, but even she could not override a simple council meeting that might, after all, be decided in her favor. Plovereye herself was rather undecided about the loner, seeing as she knew so little about him. Aspenheart seemed keen to defend the large tom; perhaps he could inform her without being as biased as Gingerstar seemed to be - without reason?

Naturally, the leader was not known for her tolerance of the opposite sex, but why did she seem to dislike this tom so much? He was simply a loner, a loner who had saved one of their own. If it were Plovereye - she chuckled at the thought of being called Ploverstar - she would be grateful, but wary. And overall polite and strong as to give him a good impression. But then, she was not leader; perhaps she herself would be more naturally suspicious had she grown up in a Clan like Gingerstar had.

They would just have to see.

[glowlynose]

Rain couldn't help himself; before he could really think about what he was doing, he let a cross hiss squeeze its way out through his teeth. After the fact, he decided that it may not have been the best idea, considering that he was trying to convince Gingerstar to let him join the clan, but who can really control their instinctual reactions to anger?

Yes, Rain was angry. Furious might be a better word to fully describe the emotion that was burning through his veins, actually. Despite that one little thing at their first meeting, Rain had never been anything but perfectly civil with Gingerstar. Sure, he teased her, but he teased everybody. Was she not a fan of being teased, even in a light manner? She must not be. He'd have to keep that in mind for future reference. Still, he didn't very much feel like teasing anybody at the moment, what with his obvious anger and ears pressing against his skull. The deep breaths that he was taking to try and calm himself weren't doing much except possibly making him look like an idiot.

He just couldn't get over the fact that she'd said no. He had never been told no, before just now, in his entire life. Now, you mustn't blame the poor tom, for his parents spoiled him considerably and the only other cat he'd really liked had been madly in love with him. Her parents had said no, but that didn't really count, since he and Ana could have made their own way without their consent. It had just been proper etiquette, asking for Analucia's hand... er, paw. That situation had not been one where the answer really mattered all that much. However, a 'no' from Gingerstar, in this particular moment, completely shattered all hope he had for a decent future. He could not give up that easily.

"With all due respect, Gingerstar, ah-" he began, teeth clenched, but before he could finish speaking, Aspenheart piped up from out of nowhere, and he seemed to be working for Rain's defense. That was... unusual. Certainly most unexpected. He'd only met the PineClan deputy once, when he was still in the beginning stages of his recovery, and he hadn't been able to tell anything of the other tom's opinion of him. This was definitely a pleasant surprise. He could feel his anger slowly melting away; though it was still fierce, it wasn't quite as obvious.

And then, joy of joys, another cat came up to speak to Gingerstar! If there was a higher power, it certainly seemed to be working for Rain's benefit. It made his heart soar to see that Gingerstar's word was not the final word in clan matters. After all, dictatorships are hardly desirable.

"T-thank yeh kindly, Aspenheart. Ma'am." He nodded to the elderly she-cat. "It is much appreciated. Y'all speakin' up like that... well, it wasn't expected, I can say that much. I'm glad to see that y'all are willing to give me a second chance." Rain shot a pointed look at Gingerstar, one brow raised in a quiet challenge. The way things had gone made him want to get up and sing or something ridiculous like that, because everybody knew that cats only caterwauled. See, her word wasn't final. Just because she was the leader didn't mean she controlled everything. He was getting a second chance. "I suppose y'all will want an explanation as to why ah was in a position to save Willowpaw in the first place, won't ya?"

He smiled at the three cats now, fully prepared to defend his honor. Gingerstar undoubtedly thought he had been on her territory before he'd heard Willowpaw calling for help. Well, she was about to be proven wrong.

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[Whiskers]

And then Gingerstar's carefully crafted world was ripped apart.

Aspenheart and Plovereye certainly did not realize it, did not hear the sound of her fragile pride hit the floor, nor did they feel the sharp edges of it as it shattered and went in all different directions. No, they had no idea that by eavesdropping and participating in the discussion-- by going against her word in front of the loner-- that they had destroyed all the confidence Gingerstar had managed to muster up in that moment before she gave her answer to Rain. She had possessed all the power in that instant. All the power, all the answers, all the strength-- she had felt it, known it, loved it and flaunted it off in front of Rain.

And now, in what felt like a split second, a wicked lightning bolt, it was all gone. And her castle was crumbling and down, down Gingerstar came. It was a long fall from her pedastal, it really was. Her ego was not just bruised, but broken and if she was anybody but Gingerstar, one would think that she would never heal again from such a vicious wound.

But of course she would. She was Gingerstar ( she was, she was, she had to be), and since she was the freaking leader and everything, it would be okay. She could pick herself up from this. She could recover just as she had from the other things.

But first, first she needed to survive this. She was already bleeding pretty badly and it was one against three. The numbers automatically scared her and she felt stripped, small and a little too much like her old self and not enough like the leader she was now. In fact, the arrival of Plovereye right after Aspenheart made her head reel. Aspenheart, he was reasonable. She was, in fact, starting to trust him and listen to him, and she couldn't deny (but she could try) that Rain would be a good asset to the clan if he was trained properly in the code and if she could trust him (ha ha when hedgehogs fly). But with Plovereye's interruption, her feelings changed, her shield failed to save her and she got hurt, because she felt trapped, two cats scolding her at once in front of the enemy.

Her heart quickened. Her ears flattened. And not knowing quite what to do next, or what her battle plan was, she went with instinct again--she went with anger.

"Keep your mouth closed," she spat in Rain's face. "You will get to have your say later; this discussion is between me and members of my clan. And you are not part of my clan."

She whipped her head back to Aspenheart and Plovereye and though she tried to keep her voice calm and keep her words professional, both of these attempts were in vain, and any calm she had was washed out with rage.

"If you want to hold a trial for our intruder,fine, I guess that's only fair. We'll hold the damn elder's council meeting. We'll hold it now, right away. I want to get this over with," Gingerstar hissed and then she whirled her body around and stalked away from Rain, her deputy and the elder, heading straight toward the elder's den to get the rest of them up. She couldn't deal with this any longer. She needed him gone or at least dealt with. Preferably gone.

ooc// Ginger ouuuut

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