[st-st-st-stutterin'] StorkxBright

[Pyro]

There was StarClan. There was Ris'raako. There was salvation. There was suffering. There was benevolence...and there was malice. But which one was right? And which one should he be more concerned about?

Storkpaw shook his head and tried to concentrate on the herbs before him. The flower there...that was marigold, right? Right. He was almost positive it was. That fragrant plant, the one that always relaxed him...well, that had to be lavender of course. But that was an easy one. He nearly stuffed his nose with it to help calm his mind. He had to find another way to find peace...but to find it, he had to revisit his father's teachings. It was one thing to hear Badgernose talk of StarClan, to want to hope that the more benevolent of the two opposing spiritual bodies was the one who would aid him...But if StarClan really cared, why did they allow such horrible things to happen? If Frostfang had to die, why did she have to do so in such a horrible way?

There was so much suffering...and yet all StarClan was content to do was send visions. A sort of, hey, there's gonna be some pain we won't stop so be prepared. And as a medicine cat apprentice he was supposed to learn how to take that and tell his leader? He could barely talk to a fellow apprentice, no not even a kit, without stuttering. Badgernose wouldn't always be around. Someday he'd have to take over...Someday he'd have to train his own apprentice.

And what would he teach? The hyperbolic love of StarClan? Or...nothing? Could he just skip that and let his apprentice find out on their own? He didn't want to be like his father. He didn't want to shove a belief-system down the throat of his future charge...

But the biggest problem was that he himself did not know what to believe.

A flash of orange and white distracted him. He whipped around to see a calico she-cat. By the scent a fogclanner...and not just any fogclanner, but Brightnose. FogClanners were well known for their extreme belief in StarClan...surely their medicine cat would have a helpful opinion on their purpose and will. The tom trotted over to the line, calling out as he did.

"Brightnose...hey Brightnose!"

He stopped as he reached the border, not idiotic enough to run right over it. He sat down slowly, preparing himself to ask her the question. It was hopeless to pray he wouldn't stutter...He still didn't know who to pray to..."B-Brightnose...I...could you t-tell me w-what you think of StarClan?" He blurted the question as fast as he could, wanting to skip pleasantries. He wasn't good at small talk in any case. "I-I want a-a-another opinion to consider. I'd ask Badgernose...b-b-but I figure...m-maybe...I-I mean...what do you think they do?"

[Cloud of Diamonds]

The calico was rather surprised when the neighboring Clan's medicine cat apprentice randomly asked her about StarClan. Her hazel eyes registered confusion, and she accidentally bit down on the dock she was carrying, and regretted it, spitting it out - and knowing she would regret that, too. She gave the black and white tom an annoyed look, but then just sighed. He had piqued her interest. And that was difficult to do, unless you were a patient in need of treating.

And he was a fellow of her trade - he deserved more respect than a mere warrior.

She then studied him with a piercing gaze, searching his appearance, trying to deduce his intentions. But she was mostly unsuccessful : he seemed to be just that, an apprentice asking about StarClan. It was natural, she supposed. And it was her duty to give him as much information as possible. She wondered how she felt about other cats' belief in StarClan, it wasn't something she really cared about. Either they did or they didn't, and it was of no concern to her. Although fools like Miststar made all believers look like morons. Mind you, quite a few were.

"Well, Storkpaw, I'm sure Badgernose could answer your questions too. But then, I guess I should feel flattered; I am the one you sought out." She smiled, a knowing a smile, a self-satisfied smile. Of course he would ask her. She was a FogClanner, and what was more, she was an intelligent FogClanner, and she was one of the best. Perhaps it wasn't so strange.

"But anyway, I will tell you all I know." It was her hope that this would shape an intelligent opinion of the ancestors in the little tom's mind.

"As you know, StarClan includes the spirits of all the Clan cats; as far as I know, rogues and kittypets do not go there. They have power, but it is limited; the strength of ordinary cats is far greater. Their duty is to not control fate, as some nitwits believe, but to observe and clarify, lending their help when needed and when it is deserved. Whether cats live or die is simply the facts of life; not StarClan's jurisdiction. Despite what some think, they favor no cat and neither do they judge any cats in particular. PineClan is no better or worse than the rest of us - they are simply different, and it is of no consequence to me that they don't believe. They are somewhat weaker for it, but it is their choice and I would not try to influence it, it is a waste of time and pointless besides.

Where was I? Ah yes."

She paused a moment, then continued:

"As I said, they favor no cat. True, we FogClanners devote ourselves more to Their way and study, but it simply makes us FogClanners, not special. I mean really - " Brightnose snorted "- when you look at some cats in our Clan - but ah, never mind that for now." She had almost revealed the idiocy within FogClan, and that was not safe to do.

"Anyway, those are the basics of StarClan. Any questions?"

Despite her initial reactions, she was rather enjoying this. Finchpaw had never asked for tutelage on StarClan, but then, he was Rowanheart's son and had probably been stuffed to the whiskers with it during kithood. Focusing on his herbal training was more vital for him anyway.

And she rarely got to make use of her vast array of knowledge anyway; most cats were too dull to talk to and even more unlikely to actually listen.

[Pyro]

Storkpaw could tell Brightnose was surprised to see him...Perhaps even annoyed that her work was being interrupted. However, he smiled a bit when she came over. Annoyed, but willing to talk was a lot better than annoyed and ignoring. He might learn what he needed to. That was always good. He nodded as she spoke, confirming she would answer his questions.

"I-I did s-s-say I w-wanted different op-opinions to consider."


He listened intently as she began. He hadn't expected the FogClan medicine cat to show such tolerance for PineClan...Considering they rejected many traditional medicine cat beliefs. But then, he supposed a medicine cat had to be a bit more open minded to opinions. Never knew when a time would come when an herb might be needed from another clan...although he shuddered at the thought of having to speak for StreamClan.

Her thoughts on StarClan however, didn't strengthen his own opinions about them. If anything, she made them sound...quite useless. As moody as Ris'raako, but with none of the influence. And given their own general lack of power...

"Wh-what gives StarClan the right to do such things?" he asked, his voice stronger. "I-I m-mean, they're just the s-souls of cats long passed...And n-not all of them are l-leaders. So why should they a-ask we believe in their 'glory'? Wh-why do they ask we pay them any attention? I-If they d-don't judge, why do th-they presume to say one cat deserves help over another? They favor no cat you say...and yet leaders and medicine cats are the only ones allowed to see them? Why should a regular warrior be denied something like that when most of StarClan is no doubt regular warriors?"

[Cloud of Diamonds]

The calico was surprised and - shockingly - a bit angry. Her natural defense for her ancestors kicked in and she was about to reprimand him sharply when she checked herself. Shaping him must be done carefully, with tolerance and skill. She wondered why she cared so much anyway - it wasn't like he was her apprentice. This wouldn't affect her. She was being silly.

Speaking in a colder voice, she answered.

"I see. I gave you information and you shoot me with insults and impertinence? But never mind. It matters nothing to me, I am simply disappointed in your lack of respect, Storkpaw."

Her voice became marginally warmer and she continued.

"Before I respond, I will ask you a question: Would you really rather there was nothing instead of something? Would you really rather that cats did not have a safe haven when they died? Consider that, if you will. And now I will answer you.

You ask what gives them the right; why should they NOT have the right? They possess the wisdom of ages and they the best judge: impartial, because they are made up of all the Clans.
There needs to be a higher power above mortals; it is the only way to resolve the harshest conflicts when no cat knows what to do.

You ask why we believe in their glory...well, that is not so important, but it is right to honor them as is fit. They are the ancestors, the ones who caught prey and made safe homes long before we born, who made the way of the Clan itself. We owe them our history, Storkpaw.

Why do we pay them attention? I believe I just answered that. But another reason is that they are our kin, and our kin's kin, and we must believe in them, or there is nothing left."

Then she sighed the judgment question was easy in essence, but complicated in its whole self.

"They don't, Storkpaw. It is living cats who twist StarClan's words and actions to their advantage, or make them up entirely. I have seen it happen. It is not StarClan's fault. They only favor one Clan over another when there is justice to be done.

True, we are the only ones who can see them, but think about it : they are so far away from us, that they must combine their power to form bonds with those of us already with power. And the reason they rarely - or never - visit ordinary warriors despite mostly being made of them is because they can't, Storkpaw. It is a long journey from the stars, and it is only made in emergencies.

Are you satisfied? I should hope so; despite my misgivings, I have chosen to trust you."

It was not her way to apologize, but she felt some slight sympathy for the little tom.

[Pyro]

Storkpaw's ears flattened at her accusation. He asks honest questions with honest curiosity, and is accused of being insulting and impertinent? Perhaps some of what was said of FogClanners was true. They didn't take lightly to those who did not take StarClan for what it was. He thought about Brightnose's question. If what Brightnose said was true, then his own family would never see StarClan's light. There was no one special waiting for him, looking down on him. Would he rather there be nothing? It would certainly simplify things...And it did seem unfair that only cats have a resting place.

"I did not once insult you Brightnose. However, I'll admit that m-my questions may have been uncomfortable. C-call me impertinent if you will, b-but I th-think things would be better off if StarClan d-did not meddle."

He sighed, as though weighed down with a heavy burden. And truly, he was. He was StreamClan's next medicine cat...and yet he knew he'd be as reluctant to share StarClan's words as could even be possible for one who believed in them. Mortal matters...were best left to mortals. Certainly, cues from the past were acceptable...but the dead deserved to rest if anything, not continue to work for the living.

"There is always something. There is always life. I think that's what PineClan embraces, rather than a belief in StarClan.

Y-yes...I can't argue against a safe haven for the those who have p-passed on. H-however I think th-that that is a-all it should be. The dead have earned the right to rest in peace without worrying about the matters of the living. And if they w-words can be so ea-easily twisted...why speak at all? If it was simply a haven, there would be no op-opportunity for cats to use it to their advantage. Words never spoken cannot be made up because they are not spoken with regularity. "

He thought more about what Brightnose had said about cats who twisted StarClan's words. She knew something...or someone...who was doing it. The apprentice's brow furrowed as he looked toward the ground in thought, trying to discern if she was hinting at something. He recalled the last gathering he had been to, when Miststar announced her reign...If Owlstar was really that bad, would Cloudstar have allowed her into camp to talk? Something bigger was going on across the border...something he himself had misgivings about.

When he looked up, it was with concern. "Brightnose...you've mentioned twice now StarClan not doing as s-some cats believe...Is it some c-cats...or one in..." He shook his head. He couldn't pry. Whatever happened in FogClan, he hoped stayed in FogClan. But...would it be presumptuous of him, as an apprentice, to announce his concern to Cloudstar? Probably. He'd keep it to himself.

"No...nevermind...forget that last que-question...you don't have to answer it." I'm not sure I want to know.

[Cloud of Diamonds]

Again the calico studied the black and white StreamClanner. He had another motive, she was sure. Something. Something in him, deep down. But it was not her care or worry. It was her duty to answer his questions. And to decide whether to answer the last one.

What was it about apprentices of her own craft? Besides Finchpaw - curse him or bless him for it - Storkpaw was the only cat who made her feel more than dull, bland, vague, silly things for a long time.

And once again she had to think about how to answer him. It was a bit annoying, but then, it was rare that she actually got to think on the spot. In a way, if there were to be a battle, at least there would be something for her to do rather than just sitting in her den. Teaching Finchpaw and treating minor injuries was all very well, and it was true that she had time for her philosophical pursuits, but still...well, never mind that now.

He said, for some incomprehensible reason, that it would be better if StarClan did not meddle...what a foolish notion. She would tell him how wrong he was, and why, to say that it would be better if StarClan didn't meddle. But then, he was young. He didn't understand yet their subtle power and laws. She must be firm, but not too harsh with him. After all, he was not of FogClan, which despite its present state was still a place of spiritual sanctuary, learning, and worship. If only they had a leader who realized their Clan's true potential. Oh well.

His next words were sillier still, and the medicine cat snorted at them...who said life couldn't be embraced while death was remembered and honored? Really. Despite being one to ask questions, he was fearfully narrow-minded.

But he did have a point about Their words...an unfortunately valid point...it was true that in almost every case it was far better to not have spoken than to be heard wrongly. But the calico mentally shook her doubts off like fleas. Doing nothing was worse than trying to do something good and having the unworthy twist it. It was the intent that counted, surely. She pushed the uncomfortable thoughts out of her mind.

Her whiskers twitched in satisfaction of Storkpaw's admittance that she was right about it being a haven. But it was also a place of work, and she would explain why. It was both, obviously, and mostly haven. It wasn't like StarClan spoke ALL the time.

She would worry about his last question when she was done replying to his others.

"Storkpaw, I understand why you say what you do, but you're making some very basic mistakes that are leading to your twisted parallels of the truth. Honestly, has Badgernose taught you nothing?" She said it lightly, with quizzical eyebrows raised, but still, the black and white she-cat was clearly neglecting her apprentice's education if he was this muddled.

"You say it would be better if StarClan did not meddle...let me correct your errors. First of all, StarClan does not meddle. They watch, they judge carefully, they discuss and share thoughts and wisdom, and only then do they decide if and when they act. They are not bumbling kits but enlightened beings, and they deserve respect as such." She finished smoothly, but with a hint of warning.

"You say PineClan embraces life...as do we all. But we remember and honor our dead and their place as well. Who says we cannot do both? True, there are those who are more obsessed than they should be with those who have passed on, but they are misguided and we need not worry about them." I hope, she added silently in her mind, hoping he couldn't detect her doubt as she had finished.

"Mmm...as to why it should only be a haven, your points are somewhat satisfactory, but they lack proper judgment. The dead do rest - as well as work to aid the living. But it is mostly rest - as I have stated, StarClan only work in times of crisis. Otherwise, it is as peaceful and as restful of a place as can be imagined. Besides, what good cat does not want to keep serving their clan after death, and watching over their loved ones and descendants?

Would not you embrace such a duty, as long as you had plenty of rest as well? And unfortunately, you do have a point about them speaking at all. As a general lesson, it is better to not have spoken than to be heard wrongly. But they are far more guilty if they do nothing at all, then at least trying to make their message heard so we may learn. Enlightenment, however harsh or though whatever speaker, is always better than silence.

But also we must be able to separate the obviously false from the possibly true - which is why we train and learn sound judgment in Their affairs."

She paused to rest and take a breath, and consider his last query, which he had gone back on. True, he had said to not mind it, but it was not her way to leave uncertainty when the truth could be told. Even if it was a dangerous truth. After all, he was only an apprentice - who would believe him, if he dared speak at all? Which if he possessed any amount of intelligence he wouldn't. Besides, it wasn't like she had to reveal everything. And being in his confidence might come in useful one day, after all.

She looked at him with keen hazel eyes, and spoke.

"I will say only this: Things in FogClan are not all as they seem, and there may well be a time when your beliefs in StarClan may save you or damn you before you die - so choose wisely, boy, and keep your ears pricked for trouble."

The calico bent down to pick up her dock, scowling as she felt the dusty taste. Perhaps it was dramatic of her, but she felt it was time to leave. She had told him plenty, and time was getting on, after all.

Turning her back, she began her return toward the camp hidden in the fog.