less lame title coming. [badgerxbriar, g]

[|| allie]

Badgernose stepped outside her den and inhaled the familiar, sweet scent of newleaf air. At last, it had arrived, which meant one thing to StreamClan's medicine cat: time to restock the herb store with fresh herbs. She had already cleared out the old, dry herbs that were leftover from leafbare, and the neat shelves in the medicine den were impatiently waiting to be filled again. But, of course, she couldn't do this alone. No, sir, she had to find some cat nice enough to skip their warrior duties to help her. Or, at least she felt she had to, and besides, she didn't mind some company.

The she-cat walked, or rather, frolicked towards the warriors den, enjoying the warm, steady breeze that brushed against her thick black fur. It felt fantastic out here, and Badgernose almost forgot what the harsh, frozen wind during leafbare felt like. As she headed for the warriors den, she took her time, taking in all the newleaf she could. When the she-cat arrived, she poked her head inside the warrior den, waiting a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the dim light. She looked around; the den was empty, except for three or four few late sleepers curled near each other in a corner. She tiptoed over to them, trying her best not to wake them and possibly face a bad-tempered warrior. Badgernose sat a tail-length from them and studied each of them with her soft green eyes, in her mind wondering which one seemed least likely to claw her face off for disturbing their sleep. She didn't have much to go by, but decided on the lump of brown tabby fur closest to her. Badgernose could only catch a glimpse of the cat's fur, but guessed it was Briartail, a tom she had seen around camp often but didn't know too well. And since she didn't know him, it was the perfect time to get to know him better.

Badgernose reached out a tentative white paw, slowly approaching the sleeping tom. Then, without warning, she jabbed him in the shoulder. Hard. The she-cat jumped back and let out a yelp, surprised at her own suddenness. She'd really done it now. "Sorry, sorry- Briartail, is it?" she spluttered. "I didn't mean to wake you- well actually, I did, I just did not mean t- Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. For hurting you, I mean. It was an accident- So can I ask you something?" She sat back on her haunches and offered a nervous smile. She didn't usually act all uppity like this, but she was worried Briartail would be upset with her for stabbing him in the side. "I was, uh... wondering, if you'd like to skip your warrior duties and uh... come herb-collecting with me. Of course, you don't have to- it's just a question- I could really use the help, and uh, yeah. So anyway, will you do it?"

[glowlynose]

Briartail grinned easily as he awoke from his slumber, despite the fact that he had just been stabbed in the shoulder with a stranger's paw. It happened all the time in the den, especially if somebody was having a nightmare. Still, he was probably the only cat in all four clans who actually grinned as soon as he was conscious enough to do so.

"Oh, don't worry, it didn't hurt. You're fine, Badgernose." He wondered vaguely if she would be surprised that he remembered her name. He hadn't made many visits to the medicine den, after all, so they were hardly acquainted. And she'd had trouble with his name. It was understandable, of course. The poor little she-cat seemed flustered for some reason. Why could that be?

"Sure, I'd love to help you collect herbs. How about something to eat first though? I'm starved." Briartail raised an inquisitive brow and gestured toward the exit, and the fresh-kill pile. It probably wasn't very "fresh" anymore, but he didn't really care. Still, it would be nice to have something nice and warm to sink his teeth into today. Taking Badgernose's silence as a positive reply, he gingerly stepped over the unconscious bodies and out into the sun.

"Or I could always catch something when we're out collecting stuff. Whatever you want. You're the medicine cat, after all. Your choice." Briartail grinned yet again. He was in a very bubbly mood now that somebody had asked him to do something with them. Nobody ever wanted to do anything with him, except for Kitewhisker on rare occasions, and Kitewhisker was quickly approaching senility. Just the fact that somebody asked him to do something was throwing rays of sunshine on his entire day.

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[|| allie]

Badgernose sighed in relief as Briartail calmly stirred in his sleep. He wasn't angry at her. She could tell. An angry cat would have awoke in a heartbeat, ready to cut her to bits. But he wasn't, so obviously he didn't care. She sat back on her haunches and watched him. He smiled. He was hardly even conscious and he smiled. Badgernose's eyes widened. He smiled? Why was he smiling? Why wasn't he upset?

The she-cat stared at the warrior. Her tail twitched, and she knew. She had to know these answers. She had to know why this cat didn't care. Why he was so indifferent to what had happened. It's like he didn't even realize it had happened... Was this cat insane? She opened her mouth, preparing to unleash her barrage of questions on the tom, but Briartail spoke before she could say a single word. She closed her jaws. Her brow furrowed, and she huffed impatiently. "U-Uh-" she stammered, attempting to gather her thoughts together. "Good," she finally concluded with a nod. "I was afraid you'd claw my ears off. But anyway-" And she was cut off yet again.

Badgernose flattened her ears. This cat sure was great at interrupting her. It's just bad timing, that's all. I'll just let it go for now, save it for later, she told herself, and took a deep breath. Her ears perked up again as Briartail left the den; she followed after him, back into the sunlight and to the fresh-kill pile. The scent of fish drifted through into her mouth, and she could tell from that one whiff that it was probably leftovers from last night. "Thanks for your help, and no thanks," she mewed, glancing at the pile through the corner of her eye. "Stale fish isn't exactly... my favorite." Badgernose smiled weakly and glanced towards the camp exit. Her paws itched to get moving, yet she had to be patient for Briartail. She sunk her claws into the soft earth. "What do you say we hunt on the way back? I'm not hungry anyway... that is, unless you'd rather eat now." Badgernose bit her tongue. Why had she gone soft like that? She was ready to leave now, and shouldn't have given the option to remain in camp. Whatever the case, she still had to wait for Briartail's reply, so that's what she did.

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[glowlynose]

Briartail took a few moments to ponder the StreamClan medicine cat. She seemed like a nice enough cat, but something about her was just grating on his nerves. Maybe it was because she was being so impatient. Why was she so gung-ho to get moving anyway? It wasn't like her herbs were going to go anywhere... then again, it was an important job, collecting fresh herbs. The fresh ones were best to treat wounds and stuff with. So he really shouldn't be annoyed with her. It was bad to be annoyed. His dad used to get annoyed with him all the time, and... well... that hadn't gone so well. Come to think of it, when his dad had been concerned, nothing had ever gone well. So Briartail really shouldn't be annoyed with Badgernose. She was nice, after all. In fact, he should probably just do whatever she wanted.

"Who, me? Oh, no, it's fine. We can leave now. Nothing interesting is happening, besides." Oh, yes, let's just pay no attention to the fact that Briartail hadn't eaten anything since noon yesterday. Sure, hunting on the way back would be just fine. Or on the way there. For now, they should just leave. Briartail bounced on his paws, eager to set off on this new, flowery adventure. He'd never gone herb collecting before. This should be fun!

"Care to lead the way, miss?" He stepped out of her way, still bouncing a little bit on his paws. Either he was really excited about collecting herbs or he had just kicked in to survival mode. His hunger appeared to have vanished. It was a very strange feeling. Everything felt sort of light, but heavy at the same time. He was sort of in a dream. Oh man, if Flare ever found out about this, he'd think he was stark crazy.

Everything was going fine and dandy until Briartail bounced a little too far and slipped on a rock. Then nothing felt very nice anymore. The ground didn't feel very soft. Why? It had looked soft before. "Ow." Oh well, it was best not to worry about it much. The warrior gingerly picked himself off, shook his pelt a few times, and then took his place behind Badgernose. She would take him someplace where there was lots of prey and good smelling herbs to pick and collect. She would take him somewhere nice. He was sick of camp. The rocks weren't very nice here.

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[|| allie]

"We can leave now. Nothing interesting is happening, besides."

Badgernose curled her tail in delight. Briartail had finally agreed with her. It was like... like he knew. He knew that she had wanted to leave as soon as possible. She eyed the tabby tom warily. for the whole of ten seconds, then laughed out loud at herself. How silly was she, suggesting that this cat was psychic or could read her mind or something. It was just a good guess, that's all. There was a 50-50 chance that he would choose to leave without stopping to eat, so why was this a big deal to her?

The she-cat shook her head, clearing all of those useless, dumb thoughts from her mind. It was time to get serious. Because, of course, herb-collecting is serious business. Badgernose stretched out her legs, readying her muscles for this. "Okay, so today w-" and then Briartail rocketed himself onto a rock. Badgernose flattened her ears and glared at the tom. "Really? Honestly?" she muttered. Then she decided she should check him for bleeding; she was the medicine cat, after all. And she couldn't bring a hurt cat out of camp with her. She padded over to the injured tom, grabbed up his paw, and mewed, in her sweet medicine cat voice, "Are you hurt, Briartail? Is there anything wrong?"

Badgernose stared at his paw pad. Just a small scratch, no bleeding. He was fine. She gently set his paw back on the ground, then resumed her speech: "Okay, so, Briartail. Today, we're going to go herb collecting. Well, we were. But I've changed my mind. Instead, we are going to collect honey. You know, from bees." The she-cat paused, for dramatic effect, then continued: "It's not an easy task. Those bees are nasty little buggers. You could get stung... but, it's a risk you have to take when you're a medicine cat. Well, technically speaking, you are not a medicine cat. I am, however." The she-cat paused. "Anyway, are you willing to risk all that for me and your Clan?" She finished her speech with a firm stare straight into Briartail's eyes. Then she giggled softly, to herself. Honey-collecting wasn't really that hard. At least, not when you were a medicine cat and knew just the right way to go about it.

[glowlynose]

Briartail stiffened, ears flattening against his skull. He'd heard that tone of voice before, that placating, saccharine murmur. His brother had always used to talk to him that way, and sometimes his father, but more than often his father had sounded angry. But right now his father didn't matter. It was Flare who had always thought Briartail was pathetic. Now Badgernose thought the same, just because he'd tripped on a rock. It wasn't like she'd never done it! He bet she used to trip over rocks all the time.

"Look, just because I tripped over a rock doesn't mean that you can talk to me like I'm being a pathetic kit! You think I don't know what you're trying to do here? You think I'm ridiculous, don't you, just like everybody else?" Briartail moved around to stand in front of the she-cat, attempting to block her path. Considering that he was barely larger than she was, it was really just for show. She could easily worm her way around him on the narrow path. Would she want to, though? Briartail meant business. He never let himself sound angry with anybody, but now he was practically snarling at the medicine cat. The medicine cat, for StarClan's sake! What was he thinking? She could poison him in his sleep if she felt like it. The black and white she-cat probably wouldn't want to waste the deathberries though, just to get rid of an irritating warrior.

Briartail was just plain sick of being treated like dirt. So he smiled a lot and embraced life. What of it? Just because he was happy by nature didn't mean that everybody should disrespect him.

"I'm not stupid, Badgernose. I know that I could get stung. But honestly, I'm not risking anything for the Clan. You don't need to try and convince me like you would a 6-moon old apprentice. I'll go with you. All you had to do was tell me what we were doing," he spat, narrowing his eyes crossly. Oh, what a story this would be later! Briartail getting angry, and then actually acting upon it. It would probably shock the clan straight up to the sky.

"Now, if you're quite done patronizing me, we can go and get your honey." With that, Briartail stepped out of Badgernose's way. It was sort of funny, but he felt younger somehow. Allowing himself to become angry with another cat was something he hadn't done since his father had been alive. That was why he felt younger. It reminded him of when he'd tried to stand up to his father the first time he'd beat him. He hadn't tried again after that.

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[|| allie]

Badgernose's ears sat up. Briartail had suddenly turned on her, blocking her path and shouting at her. And what... What was he saying? This cat was very unlike the tom she had known a few heartbeats earlier. This tom wasn't the same happy-go-lucky, cheerful tom as before. He was really, genuinely upset. And at her? Why, she couldn't think of what she'd done wrong besides caring. And the bit at the end, that was all in good fun. All cats knew that bees sting. He couldn't see that she knew that?

"Briartail- I-" Badgernose mewed, stumbling over her words. Her tail quivered. How could she possibly explain herself to a cat like Briartail? He was furious at her. She could tell by the way he spat his words. Then, of course, there was the actual words was spitting at her. "Briartail, you do not understand. I'm not trying to talk to you like some pathetic kit, I was simply doing my job. If you would rather I be some hateful medicine cat who doesn't give a mousetail about you or your health, well I'm sorry. That's not me. I'm sorry I tried to sound like I actually cared about you." By this point, Badgernose was on her paws, fur fluffed out like she'd just seen a flying bear. The she-cat narrowed her eyes, glaring at the tom. She couldn't believe the accusations this cat was throwing at her.

"Oh, and Briartail," she continued, lashing her tail, "you're not stupid. I know you're not stupid. You earned your warrior name, didn't you? I was just having a little fun. Don't get your tail in a knot."

Too late for that.

Badgernose sighed, sinking back to the ground. This little expedition wasn't going well for her. It hadn't even started and they were arguing! But she decided she could at least try to smooth things out with Briartail; after all, all this was her fault. Even if she hadn't done the things Briartail has accused her of, it was her fault for making him believe that.

"I'm sorry, Briartail," she huffed, staring down at the dirt. "Now can we get going? It's going to be sundown before we even get out of camp at this rate." The she-cat grinned, hoping her humor would lighten the air a bit.

[glowlynose]

Briartail took a few deep breaths and steadied himself. What was he thinking, blowing up at Badgernose like that? Not only was it mean and ornery and rude, it was exactly like something his father would have done. A deep shudder racked his shoulders, disturbing his re-discovered calm. His father. StarClan forbid if he ever turned out like his father.

"No, Badgernose, it's my fault," he said as soon as they were walking again. "I shouldn't have let it upset me. It's just... it's just that... well, my dad always used to use that tone of voice with me when I was doing something wrong."

And now what was he doing? He was about to tell her! That secret that he'd kept from everyone except the love of his life was about to poke its ugly little head out into the sunshine, and he did not like it. No sir, he did not like it one bit! Why was he telling her? What right did she have to know? She was just the medicine cat. They barely knew each other. Still, despite his mental protests, the words were on the tip of his tongue and uttered before he could stop them.

"And then he would beat me." There. It was done. He'd said it. Now that it was out, why not keep going? He had nothing else to hide from his clanmate. "See this scar right here? The one on my ear? That was him. And that spot on my tail where fur won't grow, that was him too. He almost broke my paw once, trying to get me to fight back. Sometimes it still hurts.

"But I'm sorry. I know you would never be like that. You fix things, not make it so that things need to be fixed. I just... the voice." Briartail shook his head, ashamed at what he had done. Badgernose hadn't deserved that. See, this was what his father had done to him. He'd managed to poison his mind, even from the Beyond. What was this hold that his father had on him?

"So how far until we get to the honey?" Briartail grinned at Badgernose, hoping that she would be too preoccupied with the honey to think much about everything else he'd said.

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[|| allie]

A frown etched itself across Badgernose's muzzle. Her heart ached for Briartail. What could a cat as great as him ever do to anger any cat? Sure, she could refer back to herself literally only a few heartbeats earlier, but that was besides the point. The point was that some cat - his own father - had harmed Briartail, and well, Badgernose wouldn't stand for it. She was a believer in peace; there was never a need for violence. Never. And it was one thing for a cat to hurt Briartail, but it was a whole other thing for his own blood to hurt him. For a brief moment Badgernose wondered why Briartail had told her - a cat he'd be acquainted with for maybe an hour - this. Again, she brushed her thoughts away. It didn't matter why, it mattered that he did.


She looked at the tom with eyes full of sympathy. "Briartail I- I'm so sorry," she mewed. "That's so horrible. No one deserves that. Really. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." The she-cat paused, not sure what to say next. "And you know I'd never mean it like that, I didn't know it'd hurt you. Now I almost feel like this could be my fault, not yours. I caused all this. Why did you even tell me all this in the first place, Briartail? And..." She stopped again, debating whether she should finish her sentence or not. "And... whatever did you do to your father to deserve that?"


There. She'd said it. Badgernose bit her tongue, almost wanting to take back her words. Almost, but not quite. See now, Badgernose was quite the curious cat and well, she liked to know things. She just hoped it wouldn't offend Briartail. Then she would feel terrible.


The she-cat was caught off-guard (for probably the tenth time that morning) as Briartail totally flipped the whole conversation around. Of course, it was a simple question about the mission at hand, that they were supposed to be concentrating on, but it was just so unexpected. Badgernose could only guess he had switched the topic so he didn't have to linger on the past for a second longer. She didn't blame him. Again she almost wished she hadn't said anything. Almost. "Well, uhm, I'm absolutely positive it should not be too much longer," she mewed, squinting at the trail ahead of her. "I know there's a hive somewhere along the river. If it was not somehow destroyed during leaf-bare, we could go check there first. Yeah, I think that's what we will do. Sounds fantastic." Badgernose veered off the main trail, heading now in the general direction of the river.

[glowlynose]

Badgernose was apologizing. Why was she apologizing? It's not like she could have stopped his father all those moons ago. She probably hadn't even been born yet. "Why are you apologizing, Badgernose? There was nothing you could have done to stop him. And it's not your fault. Please don't feel that way." He smiled at the she-cat, trying to make her feel better just as much as he was trying to do the same for himself.

It hadn't been his fault, not ever, not really. His dad had just needed a scapegoat for his pain, and since Briartail was the odd kit out, he'd been the most convenient one. Well, Stripes had beat up on his sister as well, but not half as much, since she was a she-cat, and so like her mother that Stripes couldn't bear it. He'd eventually just given up on taking his anger out on her, and focused everything on his least favorite son. Why he was the least favorite Briartail still had no idea. Was it because of his happy disposition? Had Stripes hated that he never cried or fought back? Had he envied him his happiness and wanted to steal it away from him?

Yes. Yes, that was probably it.

"Why did I tell you? Well, gosh, I don't really know. I guess that after all this time, I figured it was time that somebody in the clan knew, and, well, you fix things." The warrior grinned sheepishly. What an immature reason to tell somebody something. Had he really just said that? "Oh, yeah, I told you because you fix things." Nice, Briartail. Very nice. Perhaps he was stupid as a kit after all. He sure was acting like it.

"I still have no idea what I did to deserve it, Badgernose. I guess it was because I was so happy all the time, and he couldn't be happy after my mother died, so he tried to take away my happiness or something like that. It's sort of unfair, really, because I was the one who took care of them all. He mostly stayed at home and moped, and my brother and sister couldn't hunt or find herbs worth a thing, so I was away from home a lot hunting for them. And yeah.

"But anyway, the bees. I'm following you." Again, Briartail, very nice. Awkward conversations seemed to be his specialty today.

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