Post by Cloud of Diamonds on Mar 7, 2010 0:34:54 GMT -5
Chapter 20, Part 1
“…suddenly aware of how untidy she and her littermates looked.”
You just won’t give it up, will you, Erins?
“Would he be angry they tracked him down?”
I’d sure be ticked if three stalkers came after me.
““It’s not my business to give warnings.”
Then why did you?
“Why was Jaypaw sharing their deepest secret with a stranger?”
He’s in love with him. I hereby declare a new shipping: JayxSol.
“There was nothing beyond StarClan!”
…except the ability to be intelligent or useful.
“But Sol was staring at Lionpaw. “And you? I can see something that burns within.””
Really bad stomachaches, I’m betting.
“What was her special power?”
To have a negative I.Q, lower than any BlunderClan cat’s, which is pretty incredible.
“-so certain it felt like a thorn-sharp stab in her side-“
Erins. Thesaurus. Need I say more?
Chapter 20, part 2 A.K.A Idiocy and Inaccurate Decriptions
“His mew was light, as though this was a small matter to him.”
…maybe it is? Maybe he doesn’t really care about the prophecy? I mean, why would he? He’s not a ThunderClan cat or even a Clan cat. The cats in it won’t affect him unless he joins a Clan. (Which he does eventually, but that’s besides the point. Most loners wouldn’t.)
“…and one day you will cover the stars in the sky…”
Why is this important? Or possible? Do they have a huge blanket or something, or are they taking a note out of Jack’s book and getting some giant beanstalks which they’ll sit on at night and grow really big and cover the stars?
“Hollypaw gasped. “Does that mean we’ll be dead?””
Oh what joy if we treated to such an event.
“Our light?”
Yes. You lost it on Mulberry Way, remember? Someone found it and Sol mugged it from them so he could give it back to you.
“Destroy the code!”
This made me think of the Pirate Code from POTC. –random tangent-I don’t really care if the warrior code gets destroyed. And since Holly’s so in love with it and it’s ignored so much I care even less.
““We can’t be more powerful than the code.” She whispered.
“The code’s more of what’d you call guidelines than an actual code.”-Barbossa.
It’s just a set of rules, innit? Anyone can break it. Including you. Which you have done various times. And have not been threatened with death or tortured. I’m not seeing what’s so powerful about it. /apologizes for bad grammar
““Sol.” He looked up at the tom. “You must come back with us.””
Drugshipping (JayxSol) just keeps coming back.
“Sol paused for a moment to wrap his tail neatly over his paws.”
How could he do it messily? How is it different from wrapping his tail around his paws normally? Maybe I’m being a stickler, but I really don’t see why the adverb was needed.
“He was staring at Sol, his gaze lingering on the cat’s soft fur and blunt claws.”
Just a question here. How would he be seeing Sol’s claws? They’re almost certainly sheathed, and even if they aren’t it says they’re blunt, so they’d be shorter and harder to see. Does Smokefoot have eagle eyes and/or x-ray vision?
““Oh, but ThunderClan welcomes everyone,” she sneered.”
On pizza party day. Yeah. And ShadowClan the nerds who are studying insanely and are jealous. >.>
“…up at the sun, fiery now as it slid behind the treetops.”
It wasn’t fiery earlier? What was it, then? Well, yeah, the eclipse…but the sun is usually fiery and the eclipse only lasted about a minute or so. It’s been a while since then.
Why is this worth mention? /is kind of a stickler
“He beckoned Sol and his littermates with a flick of his tail.”
So either they were turned around the whole time they were talking to the ShadowClan cats, or they have eyes on the backs of their heads.
““You’re close enough.” Russetfur flicked her tail, and her patrol dashed over the border and surrounded the ThunderClan cats.”
Wait a second....to quote Russetfur from a page before: “Shut up, Kinkfur.” She hissed. “I don’t want any more fighting today.”
So why are they going over and making the ThunderClan cats come to their camp (where conflict might break out) if they don’t want trouble? Did Russetfur randomly get more bloodthirsty or is she just a world-class idiot and has a worse memory than me?
“Tawnypelt looked warily at Sol. “Who are you?” “I’ve come to meet Blackstar.”
He must be sharing notes with Pansy.
“…as the setting sun turned the brambles to liquid amber.”
And then the leaves turned to emeralds and the unicorns started dancing and then the bunnies burped sparkles and…-coughs- Sorry.
Chapter 21
“He ignored the surprise flashing from their pelts.”
AUGH MY EYES! –blinded-
“It wasn’t Blackstar who was more powerful than StarClan. They were.”
Such an accomplishment. /sarcasm
Cloud’s voice in her head interrupts this journal to apologize for all her sarcasm and the fact that she is not as funny as Ten.
Thank you.
“They’d managed to sneak out of camp unnoticed, but it seemed they were going to be punished anyway.”
…what? This sentence makes no sense. So they’re being punished for something nobody knew they do? Are the warriors’ subconciousnesses going “tee hee hee, I bet they did something wrong, let’s punish them”? Punishment is only punishment if it’s for something specific that the punisher knows about.
“Jaypaw? Is that you?”
No, it’s someone who stole his scent. Though why anyone would want to do that I’m not sure.
““We are watching you.” Yellowfang reminded him.”
I now rename StarClan (the eternal) StalkerClan.
“They were just a bunch of dead cats.”
Yes. Yes, they are. A bunch of dead cats who can’t do anything useful and are not helpful whatsoever and are an insult to religions. AND STALK CATS.
Chapter 22
“He blinked open his eyes…”
AGAIN with the blinking open of eyes. Do these cats sleep like snakes, with their eyes open and glazed over?
“Flinching from the brightness…”
The light, it burns.
“..gave him a real nip in his hind leg.”
Again with the hard nipping. As Ten has stated, nipping is a light form of biting. Therefore a hard nip is a light bite. Erins, must you continually annoy us with inaccuracy?
“..power of the starts pulsing in his paws.”
Now I’m imagining Lionpaw with feet made of gas and fire going “throb, throb”.
““Worse,” Dustpelt meowed. “Do you remember the battle against BloodClan, Ashfur?” Ashfur’s tail twitched. “Now, that was a battle!”
Forgive me if I’m being a stickler, but I think Ashfur’s reaction to that should have different. He should have said something like, “Yes, it was terrible,” Or “Yes, I was only an apprentice then and it was horrifying” or something like that. The battle against BloodClan was a horrible thing where a lot of cats died, not some fond memory.
““Did the sun go out then?” Poppyfrost mewed. Dustpelt sighed. “No.””
Dustpelt sounds wistful, like he wishes the sun had gone out then. Or at least that’s how I take it.
““He’s ready to become a warrior.””
Lionpaw? –snorts- Well, I guess this IS BlunderClan, Clan of mistakes and misjudgments.
“They leaped…”
Shouldn’t this be “they leapt” if it’s in past tense? –asks Ten the grammar and spelling guru-
“Was he really ready to become a warrior?”
Heck no.
Random thingie where the storyline goes straight from Lionpaw doing a patrol to him meeting Tigerstar…I’m confused. Is Tigerstar on the patrol, is Lion sleepwalking, or is Lion dreaming this whole thing?
The chapter ends with him and Tigerstar…I’m still confused. Nowhere does it say he came back from the patrol or went to sleep. O-o?
A Return to the Past
Oh, wait, sorry, forgot to do the actual weird Tiger incident. /ditsy
After re-reading the entire thing, I realized apparently Tigerstar DID just appear in the forest on the patrol. Not that this is unusual, but it hasn’t happened for a while.
“Was that what being a warrior meant?”
Almost killing cats in gory battles where the sun goes out for a bit? No.
““I have no patience for Hawkfrost’s sneering. He thinks you actually believe this prophecy.”
Well, Lionpaw does.
“But I know you’re too smart to believe Firestar’s mouse-brained dreams.”
-snorts- Nope, sorry. Smartness out of order in Failstar’s descendants.
“Tigerstar’s eyes blazed like fire.”
The Dark Forest: Join now and get 40% off on our Glowing Eyeballs feature!
“..anger flaring in his belly.”
Distress signal! Sound the alarms!
“What did the dark warrior want from him, if he didn’t want the power of the stars?”
Um..how would he get the power of the stars from you? (Not that you have the powers of stars anyway. If Tigerstar wished to turn himself into a gassy ball of fire in space I don’t think he’d be able to do it.) However, if he wanted your powers, how would he get them from you? Kill you and rip them from your body somehow? I don’t think so. What use would they be to him, anyway? He doesn’t have to fight anyone if he doesn’t want to and his own skills are advanced enough, and he’s already more powerful than StarClan. What more does he need?
Guess what? This is the third-to-last chapter.
Chapter 23
“Hollypaw’s pelt felt spiky against his.”
Now I’m thinking she has chestnut shells for fur.
“He sensed hatred shooting from his brother like a shaft of light, and, concentrating harder, he realized he could follow its path into the defensive cluster of WindClan cats.”
Two things wrong with this. One: He shouldn’t be able to do this anyway. But we already knew that. Two: Why does he need to do all the following of his brother’s hate beam or whatever the flip it is? Can’t he read minds? It should be easy for him to go “Ohey, my bro’s hating on his ex. Who knew?”
Because, naturally, it is Heatherpaw he’s hating. Because he thinks she told WindClan about the tunnels. We’re not sure if she did or if it was one of the kits they rescued in Dark River. Who cares.
“..her faint honey scent.”
Sir Idiot is describing Heather, o’course, but this bit confuses me. Why would she smell like honey? She’s not a meddie apprentice. Regular apprentices don’t go near honey that much, so why would she smell of it? Do WindClan cats have cologne now?
““ShadowClan will no longer attend Gatherings.” An astonished silence fell on the clearing. Whatever the other cats had been expecting, this wasn’t it.”
I’m sure there’s a snarky comment to be made here but for the life of me I can’t think of it.
““We no longer believe StarClan hold all the answers.”
Honest to java, INTELLIGENCE! INTELLIGENCE! ALLIELUJAH!- dances-
“Hollypaw gasped. “Does he think beliefs can chosen like prey from the fresh-kill pile?” Her pelt seared Jaypaw’s where they touched.”
Oh, the horror, Holly. -_- Heaven forbid someone believe differently than you. She sounds like some stupid zealot. No, wait. She IS some stupid zealot.
And yes, folks, her pelt is burning Jaypaw’s. Gosh, that must stink. Literally.
“What is he doing with ShadowClan?”
Something ‘bad’, I bet.
“As Blackstar and Sol swished away through the ferns…”
I pictured them belly dancing. Now there’s a disturbing image.
““Who was he?”
Referencing Sol here. My response: YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. –totally stole that from Mulan-
““Where did he come from?””
THE PITS OF HECK. No. That was Cloud being dramatic and failing. Um….east of the sun and west of the moon good enough for ya?
“..pelts sparking with fear..”
Zzzt. FEAR! AAAH! Zzt.
““We are three Clans now.”
Poor ShadowClan, shunned are they.
“No cat challenged her, tried to say that she was wrong, that their faith was worth fighting for.”
Leopardstar said was it so surprising that Blackstar lost faith because troubling things have happened and StarClan hasn’t done anything? She makes a good point. And personally I think no cat stepped forward to say their faith was worth fighting for because it ISN’T. It’s an insult to faiths.
““They can’t stop believing in StarClan!”
..they just did. ?
(believing in StarClan, o'course) “That’s what Clans do!”
…is it really so important? Clans do lots of other things that are more important, believing in StarClan is far the only one and far from necessary. My made-up Clan, MarshClan, doesn’t and they get along fine.
““Does that mean you’re going to give up StarClan too?” Fury flashed from Hollypaw so fiercely that Jaypaw wondered for an instant if he was going to lunge at Lionpaw.”
Snore. Lion reminded her StarClan didn’t predict the sun vanishing, blah, she’s mad at him because HOW DARE HE CRITICIZE TEH CODE AND STALKERCLAN? Btw, fury flashing fiercely? Try saying that five times fast. That must be dang ugly. Poor Lionpaw, such a sight for his young and tender eyes.
Hollypaw’s fury needs to put des vetements on. French for ‘some clothes’ for those who are wondering.
“The lake whispered on the shore.”
The joys of schizophrenia.
“Broken moonlight shimmered on the surface of the lake. He could see it. I must be dreaming.”
No duh. Wait, he was walking and then he was sleepwalking? What?
“Her breath fouled the air…”
The hate, it never ends.
“Was StarClan admitting defeat without even trying to fight for ShadowClan?”
Wait, fight for ShadowClan? What are they fighting for ShadowClan? Sol?
No, I don’t get it either. Maybe he means to fight OVER ShadowClan’s beliefs.
“StarClan has surrendered.”
To who? Sol?
(right after StarClan has surrendered line) “Their end is drawing near.”
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNIN’, OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAAAY~
I GOTTA BEAUTIFUL FEELIN’, EVRY’THIN’S GOIN’ MY WAAAAAY~
-coughs-
Chapter 24, Part 1
Lionpaw is dreaming, and he’s dreaming of being enveloped by a load of blood that “buffeted him against rough stone walls.”
“Help!”
…me if you can, I’m feelin’ doo-oowwwn, and I do appreciate you bein’ rooo-oouund, help me get my feet back on the gro-oouund, oh won’t you please, please help me…
And now he ends up back in the cave underground where he and Heather used to play. Her body is lying there. Ooh.
“She was already dead.”
Heatherpaw. Of course.
“She had caused the battle that had made the sun vanish.”
Um..I find this incorrect in a number of ways. First off Heatherpaw MAY have told about the tunnels, or it may have been Sedgekit who did. Or another one of the kits. Also, it was Onestar who decided to attack ThunderClan, not her. And how did the battle make the sun vanish anyway? How are you so sure? I thought no one knew for sure why the sun vanished.
Chapter 24, Part 2
“…gouging furrows in the stone with his claws.”
Because cats’ claws are just so much harder than solid rock.
“I am more powerful than StarClan!”
Sorry, that’s not impressive, F for you.
“Millie was coughing in the nursery, her kits mewling while Daisy tried to soothe them. “It’s all right, my sweets.””
While I know that’s a term of affection, it doesn’t stop me imagining Millie’s kits as fuzzy chocolates with ears and tails.
“We can’t risk taking anything for granted.””
Besides your Clan’s stupidity, Leafsue.
“…stern looks Leafpool was flashing at her…”
I hope ThunderClan’s store of money for Leafsue’s drugs also pays for all the public nudity offenses they commit. No, on second thought, I hope it doesn’t and they all get sued.
Failstar tells them all about what happened at the Gathering: Only Blackstar and Sol came, they announced ShadowClan didn’t believe in StarClan anymore, etc. Everybody is deeply shocked. Cloud is sitting here wondering why they’re all so deeply shocked. StarClan didn’t have any answers, did they? This was discussed at (relatively) great length.
“…turning their backs on StarClan.” Mousewhisker looked puzzled. “What do you mean?””
I think it’s kind of obvious what it means or (a) the Erins needed to add to their word count or (b) Mousewhisker is as dumb as his mother.
“StarClan have never let us down before.”
And Cloud’s snort was so great it might have woken her mother up.
“Remember how the sun disappeared? But then it came back again, as warm as ever.”
Mmm…for some reason I’m reminded of how BlunderClan has brief moments of intelligence, but then they all go back to being lame and dumb and blundering as ever.
“Was he ready for such power? Did he even deserve it?”
I think we all know the answer to this, and it is about as obvious as my disgust for who says it. (Lionpaw, o'course)
Guess what? No, really, guess what? IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER. WHEE. -throws confetti- Thank you all, my poor loyal Starless people, for providing such fun to read responses and stuffs.
I'm doing Long Shadows after this, and then Sunrise, and that's it for the main series because I promised Ten I wouldn't get any more warriors books. I want to keep that promise.
However, I have Bluestar's Prophecy and Code of the Clans. Fun times are ahead, I'm sure.
ANYWAY.
Chapter 25 a.k.a Creativity Doesn't Cut It
""Even if it affects all the Clans?" Sandstorm demanded."
She's asking about Blackstar's decision to not believe in StarClan, and frankly I don't see how it affects the Clans so much. Well, I do, but naturally I think they're stupid for thinking belief in StarClan is so important. But as we all know, logic is most frowned upon in Erinland.
"Jaypaw envied his sister's faith. And her ignorance."
-snorts- You really want to be as idiotic as Holly, Sir Idiot? You really don't need to lose any more brain cells.
"What good news?" (italic)
That you all die horrible deaths. No, but I would like that.
"Brackenfur darted over to Hollypaw and smoothed her fur with his tail."
Woah now. Stepping into Leafsue's...er...pawsteps, are we?
"Squirrelflight was shining with happiness."
...oh dear Gar, they really are vampires. x-x
"It was a long time since he imagined he could be a warrior. But the dream had never left him."
Oh, please. Get over yourself, you whiny brat. You get to have all this uber special power as a medicine cat, you get to be good at what you do, and you STILL HAVEN'T FLIPPING LET GO OF THAT? e.e My geez, I hate him. Hate. Him.
"Lionpaw flicked Jaypaw's ear with his tail."
And just when Cloud thought she was safe, they returned.
"Warmth glowed from her pelt..."
Gah. Really. Someone shoot her. Mousefur, I mean.
""Hollypaw, from this moment you shall be known as Hollyleaf.""
"Hollypaw, from this moment you shall be known as Plantgirl."
""StarClan honors your thoughtfulness and loyalty.""
"StarClan honors your incestyness and stupid zealotry."
""Lionpaw, you shall be known as Lionblaze.""
Another zombie horse. -_-
""StarClan honors your courage and skill in battle.""
"StarClan honors your arrogance and bloodthirst."
"The time of the Clans was coming to an end, and he, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf were the only ones who could save them."
Ooh last sentence such drama. /sarcasm Points if you saw something like that coming.
Cloud doubts this is true. Probably because she's read two books after this, but also because the Clans are showing no sign of ending soon. Signs of them ending soon (like them all disbanding are almost all the cats dying) would be present somehow. Political unrest, severe lack of prey, signs of bad illness, etc. Societies don't just randomly collapse; there's always a reason. Great Depression, etc.
What have we learned?
-The Erins' naming style has further collapsed.
-Tortie toms are allowed with increasing regularity and do not have the medical issues that are apparent in them.
-The main characters suck even more.
-Firestar is a zombie, a horse, and a bat.
-Cat body language is wrong, wrong, wrong. At least the stuff in here is.
What has changed? (from The Sight)
-ShadowClan not believing in StarClan
-the X gene is more common.
-they've all turned into vampires.
All in all, I think the only thing that could save these books is not Teh Three, but an urgent infusion of good writing. Alas, it does not happen.
Tune in next time for: Long Shadows, the book after this one.
Brought to you by the keyboard of Cloud.
NOTE: Apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
“…suddenly aware of how untidy she and her littermates looked.”
You just won’t give it up, will you, Erins?
“Would he be angry they tracked him down?”
I’d sure be ticked if three stalkers came after me.
““It’s not my business to give warnings.”
Then why did you?
“Why was Jaypaw sharing their deepest secret with a stranger?”
He’s in love with him. I hereby declare a new shipping: JayxSol.
“There was nothing beyond StarClan!”
…except the ability to be intelligent or useful.
“But Sol was staring at Lionpaw. “And you? I can see something that burns within.””
Really bad stomachaches, I’m betting.
“What was her special power?”
To have a negative I.Q, lower than any BlunderClan cat’s, which is pretty incredible.
“-so certain it felt like a thorn-sharp stab in her side-“
Erins. Thesaurus. Need I say more?
Chapter 20, part 2 A.K.A Idiocy and Inaccurate Decriptions
“His mew was light, as though this was a small matter to him.”
…maybe it is? Maybe he doesn’t really care about the prophecy? I mean, why would he? He’s not a ThunderClan cat or even a Clan cat. The cats in it won’t affect him unless he joins a Clan. (Which he does eventually, but that’s besides the point. Most loners wouldn’t.)
“…and one day you will cover the stars in the sky…”
Why is this important? Or possible? Do they have a huge blanket or something, or are they taking a note out of Jack’s book and getting some giant beanstalks which they’ll sit on at night and grow really big and cover the stars?
“Hollypaw gasped. “Does that mean we’ll be dead?””
Oh what joy if we treated to such an event.
“Our light?”
Yes. You lost it on Mulberry Way, remember? Someone found it and Sol mugged it from them so he could give it back to you.
“Destroy the code!”
This made me think of the Pirate Code from POTC. –random tangent-I don’t really care if the warrior code gets destroyed. And since Holly’s so in love with it and it’s ignored so much I care even less.
““We can’t be more powerful than the code.” She whispered.
“The code’s more of what’d you call guidelines than an actual code.”-Barbossa.
It’s just a set of rules, innit? Anyone can break it. Including you. Which you have done various times. And have not been threatened with death or tortured. I’m not seeing what’s so powerful about it. /apologizes for bad grammar
““Sol.” He looked up at the tom. “You must come back with us.””
Drugshipping (JayxSol) just keeps coming back.
“Sol paused for a moment to wrap his tail neatly over his paws.”
How could he do it messily? How is it different from wrapping his tail around his paws normally? Maybe I’m being a stickler, but I really don’t see why the adverb was needed.
“He was staring at Sol, his gaze lingering on the cat’s soft fur and blunt claws.”
Just a question here. How would he be seeing Sol’s claws? They’re almost certainly sheathed, and even if they aren’t it says they’re blunt, so they’d be shorter and harder to see. Does Smokefoot have eagle eyes and/or x-ray vision?
““Oh, but ThunderClan welcomes everyone,” she sneered.”
On pizza party day. Yeah. And ShadowClan the nerds who are studying insanely and are jealous. >.>
“…up at the sun, fiery now as it slid behind the treetops.”
It wasn’t fiery earlier? What was it, then? Well, yeah, the eclipse…but the sun is usually fiery and the eclipse only lasted about a minute or so. It’s been a while since then.
Why is this worth mention? /is kind of a stickler
“He beckoned Sol and his littermates with a flick of his tail.”
So either they were turned around the whole time they were talking to the ShadowClan cats, or they have eyes on the backs of their heads.
““You’re close enough.” Russetfur flicked her tail, and her patrol dashed over the border and surrounded the ThunderClan cats.”
Wait a second....to quote Russetfur from a page before: “Shut up, Kinkfur.” She hissed. “I don’t want any more fighting today.”
So why are they going over and making the ThunderClan cats come to their camp (where conflict might break out) if they don’t want trouble? Did Russetfur randomly get more bloodthirsty or is she just a world-class idiot and has a worse memory than me?
“Tawnypelt looked warily at Sol. “Who are you?” “I’ve come to meet Blackstar.”
He must be sharing notes with Pansy.
“…as the setting sun turned the brambles to liquid amber.”
And then the leaves turned to emeralds and the unicorns started dancing and then the bunnies burped sparkles and…-coughs- Sorry.
Chapter 21
“He ignored the surprise flashing from their pelts.”
AUGH MY EYES! –blinded-
“It wasn’t Blackstar who was more powerful than StarClan. They were.”
Such an accomplishment. /sarcasm
Cloud’s voice in her head interrupts this journal to apologize for all her sarcasm and the fact that she is not as funny as Ten.
Thank you.
“They’d managed to sneak out of camp unnoticed, but it seemed they were going to be punished anyway.”
…what? This sentence makes no sense. So they’re being punished for something nobody knew they do? Are the warriors’ subconciousnesses going “tee hee hee, I bet they did something wrong, let’s punish them”? Punishment is only punishment if it’s for something specific that the punisher knows about.
“Jaypaw? Is that you?”
No, it’s someone who stole his scent. Though why anyone would want to do that I’m not sure.
““We are watching you.” Yellowfang reminded him.”
I now rename StarClan (the eternal) StalkerClan.
“They were just a bunch of dead cats.”
Yes. Yes, they are. A bunch of dead cats who can’t do anything useful and are not helpful whatsoever and are an insult to religions. AND STALK CATS.
Chapter 22
“He blinked open his eyes…”
AGAIN with the blinking open of eyes. Do these cats sleep like snakes, with their eyes open and glazed over?
“Flinching from the brightness…”
The light, it burns.
“..gave him a real nip in his hind leg.”
Again with the hard nipping. As Ten has stated, nipping is a light form of biting. Therefore a hard nip is a light bite. Erins, must you continually annoy us with inaccuracy?
“..power of the starts pulsing in his paws.”
Now I’m imagining Lionpaw with feet made of gas and fire going “throb, throb”.
““Worse,” Dustpelt meowed. “Do you remember the battle against BloodClan, Ashfur?” Ashfur’s tail twitched. “Now, that was a battle!”
Forgive me if I’m being a stickler, but I think Ashfur’s reaction to that should have different. He should have said something like, “Yes, it was terrible,” Or “Yes, I was only an apprentice then and it was horrifying” or something like that. The battle against BloodClan was a horrible thing where a lot of cats died, not some fond memory.
““Did the sun go out then?” Poppyfrost mewed. Dustpelt sighed. “No.””
Dustpelt sounds wistful, like he wishes the sun had gone out then. Or at least that’s how I take it.
““He’s ready to become a warrior.””
Lionpaw? –snorts- Well, I guess this IS BlunderClan, Clan of mistakes and misjudgments.
“They leaped…”
Shouldn’t this be “they leapt” if it’s in past tense? –asks Ten the grammar and spelling guru-
“Was he really ready to become a warrior?”
Heck no.
Random thingie where the storyline goes straight from Lionpaw doing a patrol to him meeting Tigerstar…I’m confused. Is Tigerstar on the patrol, is Lion sleepwalking, or is Lion dreaming this whole thing?
The chapter ends with him and Tigerstar…I’m still confused. Nowhere does it say he came back from the patrol or went to sleep. O-o?
A Return to the Past
Oh, wait, sorry, forgot to do the actual weird Tiger incident. /ditsy
After re-reading the entire thing, I realized apparently Tigerstar DID just appear in the forest on the patrol. Not that this is unusual, but it hasn’t happened for a while.
“Was that what being a warrior meant?”
Almost killing cats in gory battles where the sun goes out for a bit? No.
““I have no patience for Hawkfrost’s sneering. He thinks you actually believe this prophecy.”
Well, Lionpaw does.
“But I know you’re too smart to believe Firestar’s mouse-brained dreams.”
-snorts- Nope, sorry. Smartness out of order in Failstar’s descendants.
“Tigerstar’s eyes blazed like fire.”
The Dark Forest: Join now and get 40% off on our Glowing Eyeballs feature!
“..anger flaring in his belly.”
Distress signal! Sound the alarms!
“What did the dark warrior want from him, if he didn’t want the power of the stars?”
Um..how would he get the power of the stars from you? (Not that you have the powers of stars anyway. If Tigerstar wished to turn himself into a gassy ball of fire in space I don’t think he’d be able to do it.) However, if he wanted your powers, how would he get them from you? Kill you and rip them from your body somehow? I don’t think so. What use would they be to him, anyway? He doesn’t have to fight anyone if he doesn’t want to and his own skills are advanced enough, and he’s already more powerful than StarClan. What more does he need?
Guess what? This is the third-to-last chapter.
Chapter 23
“Hollypaw’s pelt felt spiky against his.”
Now I’m thinking she has chestnut shells for fur.
“He sensed hatred shooting from his brother like a shaft of light, and, concentrating harder, he realized he could follow its path into the defensive cluster of WindClan cats.”
Two things wrong with this. One: He shouldn’t be able to do this anyway. But we already knew that. Two: Why does he need to do all the following of his brother’s hate beam or whatever the flip it is? Can’t he read minds? It should be easy for him to go “Ohey, my bro’s hating on his ex. Who knew?”
Because, naturally, it is Heatherpaw he’s hating. Because he thinks she told WindClan about the tunnels. We’re not sure if she did or if it was one of the kits they rescued in Dark River. Who cares.
“..her faint honey scent.”
Sir Idiot is describing Heather, o’course, but this bit confuses me. Why would she smell like honey? She’s not a meddie apprentice. Regular apprentices don’t go near honey that much, so why would she smell of it? Do WindClan cats have cologne now?
““ShadowClan will no longer attend Gatherings.” An astonished silence fell on the clearing. Whatever the other cats had been expecting, this wasn’t it.”
I’m sure there’s a snarky comment to be made here but for the life of me I can’t think of it.
““We no longer believe StarClan hold all the answers.”
Honest to java, INTELLIGENCE! INTELLIGENCE! ALLIELUJAH!- dances-
“Hollypaw gasped. “Does he think beliefs can chosen like prey from the fresh-kill pile?” Her pelt seared Jaypaw’s where they touched.”
Oh, the horror, Holly. -_- Heaven forbid someone believe differently than you. She sounds like some stupid zealot. No, wait. She IS some stupid zealot.
And yes, folks, her pelt is burning Jaypaw’s. Gosh, that must stink. Literally.
“What is he doing with ShadowClan?”
Something ‘bad’, I bet.
“As Blackstar and Sol swished away through the ferns…”
I pictured them belly dancing. Now there’s a disturbing image.
““Who was he?”
Referencing Sol here. My response: YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE. –totally stole that from Mulan-
““Where did he come from?””
THE PITS OF HECK. No. That was Cloud being dramatic and failing. Um….east of the sun and west of the moon good enough for ya?
“..pelts sparking with fear..”
Zzzt. FEAR! AAAH! Zzt.
““We are three Clans now.”
Poor ShadowClan, shunned are they.
“No cat challenged her, tried to say that she was wrong, that their faith was worth fighting for.”
Leopardstar said was it so surprising that Blackstar lost faith because troubling things have happened and StarClan hasn’t done anything? She makes a good point. And personally I think no cat stepped forward to say their faith was worth fighting for because it ISN’T. It’s an insult to faiths.
““They can’t stop believing in StarClan!”
..they just did. ?
(believing in StarClan, o'course) “That’s what Clans do!”
…is it really so important? Clans do lots of other things that are more important, believing in StarClan is far the only one and far from necessary. My made-up Clan, MarshClan, doesn’t and they get along fine.
““Does that mean you’re going to give up StarClan too?” Fury flashed from Hollypaw so fiercely that Jaypaw wondered for an instant if he was going to lunge at Lionpaw.”
Snore. Lion reminded her StarClan didn’t predict the sun vanishing, blah, she’s mad at him because HOW DARE HE CRITICIZE TEH CODE AND STALKERCLAN? Btw, fury flashing fiercely? Try saying that five times fast. That must be dang ugly. Poor Lionpaw, such a sight for his young and tender eyes.
Hollypaw’s fury needs to put des vetements on. French for ‘some clothes’ for those who are wondering.
“The lake whispered on the shore.”
The joys of schizophrenia.
“Broken moonlight shimmered on the surface of the lake. He could see it. I must be dreaming.”
No duh. Wait, he was walking and then he was sleepwalking? What?
“Her breath fouled the air…”
The hate, it never ends.
“Was StarClan admitting defeat without even trying to fight for ShadowClan?”
Wait, fight for ShadowClan? What are they fighting for ShadowClan? Sol?
No, I don’t get it either. Maybe he means to fight OVER ShadowClan’s beliefs.
“StarClan has surrendered.”
To who? Sol?
(right after StarClan has surrendered line) “Their end is drawing near.”
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNIN’, OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAAAY~
I GOTTA BEAUTIFUL FEELIN’, EVRY’THIN’S GOIN’ MY WAAAAAY~
-coughs-
Chapter 24, Part 1
Lionpaw is dreaming, and he’s dreaming of being enveloped by a load of blood that “buffeted him against rough stone walls.”
“Help!”
…me if you can, I’m feelin’ doo-oowwwn, and I do appreciate you bein’ rooo-oouund, help me get my feet back on the gro-oouund, oh won’t you please, please help me…
And now he ends up back in the cave underground where he and Heather used to play. Her body is lying there. Ooh.
“She was already dead.”
Heatherpaw. Of course.
“She had caused the battle that had made the sun vanish.”
Um..I find this incorrect in a number of ways. First off Heatherpaw MAY have told about the tunnels, or it may have been Sedgekit who did. Or another one of the kits. Also, it was Onestar who decided to attack ThunderClan, not her. And how did the battle make the sun vanish anyway? How are you so sure? I thought no one knew for sure why the sun vanished.
Chapter 24, Part 2
“…gouging furrows in the stone with his claws.”
Because cats’ claws are just so much harder than solid rock.
“I am more powerful than StarClan!”
Sorry, that’s not impressive, F for you.
“Millie was coughing in the nursery, her kits mewling while Daisy tried to soothe them. “It’s all right, my sweets.””
While I know that’s a term of affection, it doesn’t stop me imagining Millie’s kits as fuzzy chocolates with ears and tails.
“We can’t risk taking anything for granted.””
Besides your Clan’s stupidity, Leafsue.
“…stern looks Leafpool was flashing at her…”
I hope ThunderClan’s store of money for Leafsue’s drugs also pays for all the public nudity offenses they commit. No, on second thought, I hope it doesn’t and they all get sued.
Failstar tells them all about what happened at the Gathering: Only Blackstar and Sol came, they announced ShadowClan didn’t believe in StarClan anymore, etc. Everybody is deeply shocked. Cloud is sitting here wondering why they’re all so deeply shocked. StarClan didn’t have any answers, did they? This was discussed at (relatively) great length.
“…turning their backs on StarClan.” Mousewhisker looked puzzled. “What do you mean?””
I think it’s kind of obvious what it means or (a) the Erins needed to add to their word count or (b) Mousewhisker is as dumb as his mother.
“StarClan have never let us down before.”
And Cloud’s snort was so great it might have woken her mother up.
“Remember how the sun disappeared? But then it came back again, as warm as ever.”
Mmm…for some reason I’m reminded of how BlunderClan has brief moments of intelligence, but then they all go back to being lame and dumb and blundering as ever.
“Was he ready for such power? Did he even deserve it?”
I think we all know the answer to this, and it is about as obvious as my disgust for who says it. (Lionpaw, o'course)
Guess what? No, really, guess what? IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER. WHEE. -throws confetti- Thank you all, my poor loyal Starless people, for providing such fun to read responses and stuffs.
I'm doing Long Shadows after this, and then Sunrise, and that's it for the main series because I promised Ten I wouldn't get any more warriors books. I want to keep that promise.
However, I have Bluestar's Prophecy and Code of the Clans. Fun times are ahead, I'm sure.
ANYWAY.
Chapter 25 a.k.a Creativity Doesn't Cut It
""Even if it affects all the Clans?" Sandstorm demanded."
She's asking about Blackstar's decision to not believe in StarClan, and frankly I don't see how it affects the Clans so much. Well, I do, but naturally I think they're stupid for thinking belief in StarClan is so important. But as we all know, logic is most frowned upon in Erinland.
"Jaypaw envied his sister's faith. And her ignorance."
-snorts- You really want to be as idiotic as Holly, Sir Idiot? You really don't need to lose any more brain cells.
"What good news?" (italic)
That you all die horrible deaths. No, but I would like that.
"Brackenfur darted over to Hollypaw and smoothed her fur with his tail."
Woah now. Stepping into Leafsue's...er...pawsteps, are we?
"Squirrelflight was shining with happiness."
...oh dear Gar, they really are vampires. x-x
"It was a long time since he imagined he could be a warrior. But the dream had never left him."
Oh, please. Get over yourself, you whiny brat. You get to have all this uber special power as a medicine cat, you get to be good at what you do, and you STILL HAVEN'T FLIPPING LET GO OF THAT? e.e My geez, I hate him. Hate. Him.
"Lionpaw flicked Jaypaw's ear with his tail."
And just when Cloud thought she was safe, they returned.
"Warmth glowed from her pelt..."
Gah. Really. Someone shoot her. Mousefur, I mean.
""Hollypaw, from this moment you shall be known as Hollyleaf.""
"Hollypaw, from this moment you shall be known as Plantgirl."
""StarClan honors your thoughtfulness and loyalty.""
"StarClan honors your incestyness and stupid zealotry."
""Lionpaw, you shall be known as Lionblaze.""
Another zombie horse. -_-
""StarClan honors your courage and skill in battle.""
"StarClan honors your arrogance and bloodthirst."
"The time of the Clans was coming to an end, and he, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf were the only ones who could save them."
Ooh last sentence such drama. /sarcasm Points if you saw something like that coming.
Cloud doubts this is true. Probably because she's read two books after this, but also because the Clans are showing no sign of ending soon. Signs of them ending soon (like them all disbanding are almost all the cats dying) would be present somehow. Political unrest, severe lack of prey, signs of bad illness, etc. Societies don't just randomly collapse; there's always a reason. Great Depression, etc.
What have we learned?
-The Erins' naming style has further collapsed.
-Tortie toms are allowed with increasing regularity and do not have the medical issues that are apparent in them.
-The main characters suck even more.
-Firestar is a zombie, a horse, and a bat.
-Cat body language is wrong, wrong, wrong. At least the stuff in here is.
What has changed? (from The Sight)
-ShadowClan not believing in StarClan
-the X gene is more common.
-they've all turned into vampires.
All in all, I think the only thing that could save these books is not Teh Three, but an urgent infusion of good writing. Alas, it does not happen.
Tune in next time for: Long Shadows, the book after this one.
Brought to you by the keyboard of Cloud.
NOTE: Apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes.
We have a cbox again and we're opening the place up as a closed, members only rp